GF, you are so right! I don't think I was trying to make him feel guilty, but it really hurt to have him tell me ILY and be on his way to be with his OW, I don't have the ability to think that way, so its hard for me to reconcile it in my head that he can.
Bottom line, I want him to be with me because he wants to be there, not out of obligation or as a "consolation" prize. We have been friends for 20 years and no matter what, I value the friendship, so I need to start being a better "friend". You are too right about OW as well, because H told me the last time we were at DD game she texted him and he didn't get right back to her and she was pissy and saying things like, "I guess you and Corey were having to good a time for you to respond." and other stuff like that, so he is getting it from her and I just need to chill out and enjoy the time I have with him when I'm with him and not focus on the negative, but the positive. I forget that I am luckier than some, that we actually do spend time together and talk everyday.
Thanks for keeping me in check. Sometimes I get so caught up in the details that I lose sight of the big picture. I appreciate your help and trust your wisdom on this subject.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Nah, just been there, done that. I still lose sight of controlling myself and my R goals every now and then, but I am also very aware that if I don't keep myself composed and behave like a rational adult, I'm likely to fail in achieving my ultimate goal - a happier, healthier ME in addition to a happier, healthier M with my H.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
H started R talk last night and was asking "what if" questions about coming home. He is not even close to the right headspace for me to consider it right now, but it was kind of a shock.
There were a few tense moments, but for the most part it was pretty good. He accused me at one point of "trying to lay down the law and that if I wanted to be with him, then that wouldn't work." My reply was that I was simply telling him what I would and wouldnt be able to accept and if that was a problem then it was his problem. At the end of the conversation that we didn't need to solve everything in 1 night and that it was a start...we'll see.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Short, snarly, lives under a bridge...pretty much the same. Shes nasty, somethings just never change. I think that some of the shine is wearing off of that penny, but because of the situation it looks like she will be around for much longer than I would like.
Howz your day?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Short, snarly, lives under a bridge...pretty much the same.
Howz your day?
I love your snarkiness, grumpy. My day is going OK. I've been a bit emotional and angry for the past few days. Trying to deal with that. I irritate myself when I feel this way because A LOT of other people are going through so much more turmoil. I'm seeing my IC at 11:00 today so hopefully he can help me snap out of my funk.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
I also love the snarkiness. I need a better name for my H's OW/ex-OW whatever she is now - I feel left out since OneDay calls hers the aubergine and you have the troll!
Originally Posted By: girlfromipanema
Interesting. We must never compromise on what we need from our spouses for a successful, happy marriage.
Ain't that the truth! Now we just need to figure out how to get it!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
GFI, I understand about your irritation, but be kind to yourself. You are going through a very rough patch, so be gentle with yourself.
Michelle, might I humbly suggest TAP? Tart Across the Pond (Like Hands Across America...but not the same)? The Seether? The Snag? I got a million of em'.
The troll is aptly name not only because of her physical form, but for her less than pleasant demeanor. I guess I could also call her Charles Barkley...the Round Mound of Rebound!
I make me laugh! If you want snarky, then I guess I'm your girl! Is that a bad thing?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Awww, thanks, ladies! 
