I have not posted on my own thread in quite some time. I have been doing a great deal of thinking and have reached a point where this chapter of my life needs to end.
For a long time these boards meant something to me and lately I have lost sight of what that was. I fought the moderators on their decisions and have come to realize that maybe they were right about a lot of things.
While I do not agree with cutting off outside of boards contact, I do believe that some of the focus of these boards have been lost. Divorcebustings website was designed to encourage people in our situations to work on ourselves and trying to improve our relationship skills in order to possibly save our marriages.
I look around and see a lot of socializing, and unfortunately I have to look upon myself as well and take responsibility for the fact that I am as guilty as anyone about having social use for these boards and not always being focused on their actual intent.
I am not speaking to anyone in particular, so do not get your panties or tighty whities in a bunch and start the typical drama crap because I am stating my feelings on things. I am merely at a point where my life needs to move forward and the boards more often then not frustrate me rather than helping me.
For those of you who are on here for social reasons and not for the purpose intended, I would encourage you to evaluate why you are here and if it is not to give back to those who need help, then maybe it is time to walk away. The meaning of this sight is very clear, sometimes we lose focus on that as our circle of friends in this site grows and we forget our purpose here. I wonder how many of us actually still pop into newcomers and give back to our humble beginnings?
There are far to many incredible people on here who have helped me in the past to name them so I will merely say thank you to those of you who have supported me over these last 19 months. I have come a long way since the bomb dropped thanks to all of you. I wish all of you luck and happiness as you move forward with your lives.
Ian, I think if you need to leave, then Godspeed, I wish you well.
Lots of my friends who used to post (IamTJ, Daisy StrongOne) they all stopped posting when they didn't need the board anymore.
Not sure if a grand proclamation or farewell is necessary though because I have also seen lots of people say goodbye and then come back because they really still need the board. But, if you truly don't need it anymore, than more power to you!
Those of us on "surviving" are not here to save our marriage. Our marriages are over and we are moving forward with our lives. Part of that moving on thing is about socializing. Some people don't have too many people to socialize with in their hometowns, or the people they know don't understands what they've been through and so they get some of that interaction they need here.
Even though we are recovering from heartbreak and mostly okay with how things are now, sometimes we hit a low point and we need help. I am more than 2 years out from this nonsense and I still get into funks that I need help pulling out of. And where do I come at 1 am when all my friends are asleep and I'm feeling so sad and lonely? I come here to vent or moan or troubleshoot.
In the in between times, when I am feeling fine and dandy (which thankfully is most of the time), I come here less often and when I do visit the boards, I come here to be light hearted and support others and joke around. Sure sometimes it's just down right silly, but I like to keep this connection because it has meant a lot to me and the people are true friends. I feel very sure about why I need the boards and why I still come here. I see nothing wrong with it being a social venue in this particular forum.
Perhaps you will reconsider, perhaps you will fade away, whatever you decide I hope you are happy and well and take good care.
I've noticed that myself - that I have really not been on much anymore. I think part of the socializing for us now is that we've come quite far. Not saying we're perfect, but I think those of us in this forum have realized a lot about ourselves and that we're not horrible people.
Anyhow, I wish you well and miss chatting with you. Smooches our lil Jewmuffin
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
