Hanging in there....

[GoingForward]

Wow, grumpyeby. I am sooo sorry.

Really consider that paternity test now, but more importantly, I hope you're alright.

(((((((Big hugs)))))))

[MichelleLT]

Weeeeeeell, isn't that interesting. Hope he realizes the truth soon.

This is gonna sound weird, but while I hope your screen comes back negative, if it doesn't at least it's only trichononiasis since it's sooooo easily treated.

[Sugar and Spice]

Thanks, I hope in a selfish way it does too, but being a realist, I'm sure it won't. I just hope that is the WORST thing it comes back with.

Soap Operas can't hold a candle to this stuff.

He does realize the truth, he just doesn't want to. So I guess I need to realize the truth and that is he is totally willing to give up me and the kids for this POS cheating, hood-rat, hoochie, nasty, stanky whore...for lack of a better term.

(I just love that part in Liar, Liar when Jim Carey and his boss go into that meeting and she knows he can't lie and asks him what he thinks of everyone there. Its classic!)

[MichelleLT]

He's stupid. He doesn't know what he's giving up, and he obvioiusly is in denial about who he is giving it all up for or he would be on his knees begging you to forgive him.

[Sugar and Spice]

You know, he said the same thing as you did. That he hopes my test comes back negative... Does he just need a reason to be done?

I am so confused, but dwelling on it won't change it. I do so look forward to each new day! LOL! You know what they say, Denial, its not just a river anymore.

I'm going to really have to get it together here pretty soon. I am going to have to stop this if I want to have a shred of dignity left when I walk away.

[MichelleLT]

Just take it for a shred of common politeness and leave it at that. As usual, it's about him - he's acting out because of depression/misery/whatever, but he doesn't actually INTEND to hurt you, so he wouldn't wish for you to have anything.

Just keep plugging along. You are doing fine.

[Sugar and Spice]

Well its been a lovely weekend here in Drama central. Hung out with H most of it. We were together Friday night as D had baseball practice and S had a birthday party at the batting cages right by the baseball park. We talked and I brought him the information on Trich that I printed from the CDC website where it tells about the symptoms and stuff. As much as it hurts me, I know he doesnt want to believe she cheated on him, but he is also logical enough to know that its the truth. He went to see if he could make her confess (yeah right!) and I guess it didn't work out, but he called me and we ended up talking on the phone all night long (from midnight until almost 4:30am) and he decided that he needed to honest with me about them. I heard things I really didn't want to know, but in a sick way it was good because he seemed like he wanted to clean the slate.

Saturday we were at D game at 9am, I was so tired. He went home to sleep and go to work and we had a bunch of errands to run. We then had to go to S game at 5pm, nothing like spacing them farther apart! and we were together at that one. H told me OW was still denying being with anyone else and had been in tears over it. Game lasted until 8:00 and S and D went home with MIL (where H lives now) and he went to torment OW into telling him who she cheated on him with. S wanted to come home and H ended up bringing him. I offered to meet him 1/2 way and he insisted on coming here himself. We hung out until 12:30 and he went home to go to bed. He knows she is a cheat, but having a hard time with it.

H and I spent today together, kids were at our nephews birthday party and neither of us wanted to go, there is too much family drama there. We had a nice day, but its sad to see him upset over someone else.

[MichelleLT]

I am glad he realizes the truth even if OW won't confess to it yet. It's amazing how even when caught with evidence the response is always, of course I didn't cheat on you.

Overall, it sounds like you guys had a pretty good weekend. He seems to be confiding in you a lot and looking to you for support emotionally. Plus the whole owning up to the A and coming clean. There are some nice positives there. I hope they continue.

Have a good week. Try and stay clear of the drama.

[Sugar and Spice]

Well the doctors visit was interesting. She said it didn't look like I had it, unless it was an early exposure. I got treated anyway and I am waiting for the rest of the stuff, but H says that OW's dr said she was really infected (EEEWWWW!!!) so that is just freakin' weird. Anyway, here is his out now. He can now justify it in his own mind, but no matter what I know the truth. The scary part is, I think she believes it too. She SWEARS she hasn't been with anyone but how could that be true? She also hasn't been to a gyno in 2 years and she works for Kaiser...thats just wrong.

I forgot to put that Friday night he asked me if I would be willing to give him a 2nd chance and I replied that if he wanted a 2nd chance he would have to prove to me that he was worthy of it. I told him I was done chasing him and that he needed to do the work. So we will see. He has slept since then and with an addict, its not what they say, its what they do...

[MichelleLT]

I guess it's possible she had it for a long time....but ewwwwww!

I am glad he is thinking and expressing his doubts. He's probably been thinking them for a while, so even though he'll withdraw for a while and think more, it's certainly a big step in the right direction.