I'm almost free!

[MnSPD]

You've said your piece, if you just let him digest it and maitain confidence in yourself, along with flashing him that pretty smile, he will respond.

I know I would!!!

[whitelight]

Nic,

I'm sorry this guy isn't ready. Many people are really damaged and hurt from divorce and are just not available emotionally for seriousely long time, others jump in head first clinging to the first thing that comes their way, finding out later it's not what they thought it was...

The good thing is that you can have feelings for someone else.

I would enjoy this as a crush at work, but be open to finding love elsewhere.

[whitelight]

Also, it's nice that he's honest.

[ACJ]

But Steve, I don't think he does

Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he is scared to find out. Was his D acrimonious? Was it his decision or his Xs or mutual? Maybe he is just the kinda guy who likes to do the asking. Maybe he's just not ready for the snazzy 21st century woman you are. Maybe he is scared that you and H will get back together at 11th hour and he will be hurt all over again.

Too many maybe's? That's why I think you need to let him set the pace. You will be so damn hot for him when he finally makes his move that I'll be able to see the light from the fire right here in good old England

[faithisbelieving]

nic....I agree. If you are flirting. I think he knows. I stand with MnSPD. He may INDEED be sorting thru things. Take your time..and..don't go there with the looks thing. You ARE beautiful...in and out. FIB

[MnSPD]

I was thinking: he doesn't think I'm pretty; he's just trying to blow me off; I'll never find anyone, etc etc.

I actually went home and had a good cry and then slept a lot.

nic,

Are you sure you are really ready? I know from my experience, I longed for companionship and it clouded my judgement. The quote above tells me you are still quite emotional and maybe not quite as comfortable in your own skin as you need to be.

One of the greatest things I've read is; when we realize we are comfortable on our own for a period of time, and we know we can function as an adult and in your / my case a good parent, we then should consider a partner. The reasoning is, the partner doesn't complete us, they should compliment us as a benefit not a requirement.

I hope that makes sense. Sometimes my thoughts don't flow from my head to my hands very well.

Have a very Happy Easter! We colored eggs last night, did the stinky vinegar thing. It brought back many memories. Build good memories with your kids.

Steve

[princess_nic]

Thank you all for your thoughts.

And now, of course, I will go ahead and do whatever I want!

Steve,

Yes, I'm sure that I'm ready. Of course I'm still emotional at times; I am human! The D is just being finalized and it is bothering more than I thought it would; plus, I have work pressure. Sometimes, my emotions do get the best of me. Thanks for your concern.

FIB,

I think you misunderstood re. if you're flirting, he knows. I don't WANT to jump into a serious R with him - we barely know each other. I just want to get to know him better, and I think he assumed that I wanted lot more than that. It actually made me think of you and your post about men looking for a W!

Alison:

You are so funny! I am already crazy-hot for him - believe me, that is a night I look forward to!

[princess_nic]

Whitelight,

Thanks for posting. His openness and honesty are two of the things I like best about him. He really is a gem in so many ways.

N

[faithisbelieving]

No...I know nic..but, from your post, it sounds like he isn't even ready for THAT.

I know what you are going thru. I went to meet up with a few friends of mine..holdouts from last years HS reunion. We met at a bar/club.

The music was loud.
I wreaked of tobacco (I don't smoke).
Boobs were hanging out....tattoo's/tramp stamps showing.
You couldn't talk to anyone without screaming.

I wanted to go home to my family.....what's left of that word. Take your time.

FIB

[princess_nic]

FIB,

I know what you are going thru.

I don't think so; I am far ahead of you in terms of getting past this. stbx and I have been S for more than 2.5 years now, and it has been OVER for me for a year.

I know you're concerned about me and I really appreciate it, but the truth is, no one knows how we interact better than myself. I really just posted to get it down "on paper" so to speak. I don't know for sure if he is ready for anything more than a friendship, nor do I know if I even want one with him. As I said, we don't know each other well enough yet.

Thank you for your thoughts, though - I really do appreciate your caring, and I know you don't want to see me get hurt.

What I've realized over the 2.5 years I've been here is that we all post from our own experiences; we can't help it - that's what informs our advice. As Michele says, only we ourselves know the best thing to do in a given situation.

I'm going to see if you have a new thread...