You have come so far. You have been through so much. You deserve a really great guy and relationship. I think this is being prepared for you right now!
The fundraiser went well and it was fun. There were some professional singers there, as well as African food, yum!
As for my love life....the saga continues!
I saw Work Guy on Monday. We had a little chat, and then I said I was leaving and wished him a happy Easter. He asked why he wouldn't see me again, and I said that I was off Tuesday and I don't usually see him on Wednesdays, then we are on holiday. The...him: But I'm staying later on Wed b/c I have a meeting, so...maybe I'll see you.
Okay, guys, call me crazy, but to me, that's a pretty big green light.
So Wednesday we go to the meeting together. Afterwards, when almost everyone was gone, I said: Since we have a little break coming up, why don't we get together this weekend?
Him: I have my son all w/e.
Me: All w/e? That's too bad. [flirty]
Him: Well, it also depends on why you want to get together with me.
Me: Blank look
Him: What do you want?
Me: Continue to stare at him, thinking WTF???
Him: Because I'm not looking for a R right now.
Me: Okay
We get up to go, and I ask him to walk w/ me so we can talk. He says sure.
Me: So you're not looking for a R? [or something, don't remember]
Him: No, I really like you as a friend [aaaagh!], but I don't want a R right now.
Me: So it's not just me? [sounds dumb in writing, but I was flirty IRL, not desperate]
Him: [laughs] No, it's not you! I have some things I need to sort out for myself. [I know there's been stuff going on w/ his ex and he may have to go back to court]
Him: It's bad timing.
Me: Still?!
Him: No, not bad timing, I just need to sort some things out for myself first. I'm not thinking about relationships [or something to that effect]
Me: Never? [yes, flirting!]
Him: [laughs] Not right now, that's for sure!
We part ways.
Then, as luck would have it, we run into each other maybe 10 minutes later in the hallway, which happens something like once a month! I was like, damn! Cuz I was pretty upset. He looked at me and looked like he was thinking uh oh! But I just gave him a big smile and said, "Have a great weekend!"
I will continue in another post for those of you who have the fortitude to hear more of my soap opera.
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Okay, so after all this, I was pretty upset. It didn't help that I was completely exhausted from working a lot; it's still freaking snowing; and stbx had called to - literally - yell at me the night before re. the D settlement. (On a side note, I aced that convo, staying completely calm and not rising to the bait, and finally he calmed down. Thank you DB!)
I was thinking: he doesn't think I'm pretty; he's just trying to blow me off; I'll never find anyone, etc etc.
I actually went home and had a good cry and then slept a lot.
When I got up today, I had a clearer idea of what happened. First of all, there have been too many signs that he's interested; I really don't think I've misinterpreted it. He has been a little more distant in the past week or so, which coincides with ex troubles. He didn't say he never wanted to go out w/ me, but that this isn't a good time.
What really stands out to me, though, is this: I have come a long way in terms of living in the moment instead of always thinking of the future. The reason I couldn't think of anything to say when he asked me what I wanted was that I really hadn't thought beyond going out and getting to know each other better. He's already got us in a R! If I hadn't been so shell-shocked, I would have nipped that in the bud.
He is a very straightforward kind of person, as am I, so I think I will just clarify this when I see him next week. We will have had a week to rest up and get some space. I just want to tell him that I can answer his question now, and here's what I want: to get to know each other better and see where it goes, if anywhere. We don't know each other well enough to jump into a serious R - we've never even been alone together! If he wants to go to a movie, or coffee or whatever, he can let me know. We don't even have to call it a date!
And I will leave it at that - he can think about it and get over his shock, lol!
Whew! So that's my tale, boys and girs! How come I still feel like I'm 15?
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I've thought of that, but I know him well enough to say something like that; I will think about how to word it. I really think I need to let him now explicitly that I have not been out shopping for a wedding dress! He is a lot like me, and I'm sure he will be mulling this over and will convince himself that I want to rush right into a serious R with him. I do think that it could turn into that, but I don't know.
Thanks for your thoughts, N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I posted "my" issue and when I replied to you previously, my thoughts were he possibly has similar things running around in his head as I do.
For myself, dating after D is different. Much different. There are many more concerns because of experience and many more "indicators" we recognize that we simply ignored in the past. Throw the consideration of children in the mix and you can see your radar on constant alert.
I don't know how long STBRG (soon to be relationship guy) has been D'd, but he may be sorting many things out in his head, just as I am. It's just different. Put that together with his XW issues and I can fully understand why he may "appear" hesitant.
I think the advice Alison has given to you is spot on. He knows your desire. See what he does with the ball!
