Viginia, with all the sincerity, honesty and appreciation I hold, if you are truely Michele's Personal Assitant, please convey my thanks to her for her book. For Jeff and Heather in Anchorage Alaska, I wouldn't be married but for reading her book.
Her principals saved my marriage.
I have bought her book for two other people. I recommend her book all the time to people who are having hardships in their marriage.
What kept me on track were the people here both on and off of the board.
You're "No posting contact information," while perhaps justifable for legal reasons, is wow...words fail me, and that is no mean feat. If it is for legal reasons, I can understand it. It sucks that we were able to do it for the better part of 2 plus years, it sucks that you're removing that ability for hurt people to reach out and support each other.
If it is for any other reason than legal it is paranoia. And it is unwarrented and beyond naive and short sighted on ANYONE's part who has a hand in this decision.
I would not be married today to my wife, if not for reading Michele's book AND the support from this board, MLC in particular. For over 3 years my wife wallowed in her MLC self destructive habits and liasions the only thing that kept me from despair were the people here, and at 11 pm at night when no one is on these boards, the phone calls to them or from them.
I recommend Michele's book to everyone I come across who seems to need it. I recommend it to newlyweds.
I have stopped recommending people come to the boards however.
How many people have stopped giving advice lately? How many people have stopped posting? How many people are deciding to move on? Good long time posters, who actually have good solid advice to give? The stupid insipid silly posts were a way to blow off steam around here. Those are gone.
It's like New Coke here, now.
Yes, I know this is your territory, the marks are all over the place. Hard to miss actually.
Your improvements of this board has gutted it.
Believe me as an LBS, and married to an MLCer, I know one of the hardest things to do is look deeply in the mirror and see my own faults, and to admit wrongs and change them.
Cheeseless tunnels...its in the book.
If you discount EVERYTHING else I just said, please convey my thanks to Michele for her book.
Jack aka Jeff
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I have to agree with Jack. On all his points. The board was great, and is losing that, but I think can recover. But I am an outlaw. I have been in contact with people off the board. I spent an afternoon texting to a person to keep them from blowing up when they were with there spouse. I've helped another get through an IM conversation with their spouse that could have gone totally sideways. I've sent e-cards for birthdays and get well e-cards. I've awaken to texts at 3 in the morning, and figurative held someones hand. I called a member who was panicing, and only had about 2 minutes to talk. I'm texting one right now, who is completely at the end of their rope. And I know they would do the same for me. I try to keep the advice to DBing, I wouldn't feel right otherwise. But mostly I try to be a human, and to let them know someone cares, 24/7, anytime, any day.
Oh, and three members contacted me so that they can write letters to my son, who is serving in the Marines in Africa. More outlaws.
I consider the privacy of my off board contacts to be sacred, and I also consider that meeting them here gives me an obligation to support them in trying to restore their marriage, no matter what my personal opinion is. Maybe others don't do that, I don't know. But, I guess once my current contacts are done, one way or another, that will it for that type of support. Fortunately, they will be my friends forever, and if nothing else, I am glad I found them here.
I think Jack is CLEVER! Not sure if he's cleaver or not
clever One entry found.
clever
Main Entry: clev·er Pronunciation: \ˈkle-vər\ Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English cliver, perhaps of Scandinavian origin; akin to Danish dialect kløver alert, skillful Date: circa 1595 1 a: skillful or adroit in using the hands or body : nimble <clever fingers> b: mentally quick and resourceful <a clever young lawyer> 2: marked by wit or ingenuity <a clever solution> <a clever idea> 3dialect a: good b: easy to use or handle — clev·er·ish \-v(ə-)rish\ adjective — clev·er·ly \-vər-lē\ adverb — clev·er·ness \-vər-nəs\ noun synonyms clever, adroit, cunning, ingenious mean having or showing practical wit or skill in contriving. clever stresses physical or mental quickness, deftness, or great aptitude <a person clever with horses>. adroit often implies a skillful use of expedients to achieve one's purpose in spite of difficulties <an adroit negotiator>. cunning implies great skill in constructing or creating <a filmmaker cunning in his use of special effects>. ingenious suggests the power of inventing or discovering a new way of accomplishing something <an ingenious software engineer>. synonyms see in addition intelligent
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I just wanted to add that I had my email on my signature line for almost the whole time I have been here. It has been a life saver for me.
A few weeks ago, I was feeling suicidal, one of the moderators here was nice enough to contact me through my email and check on me and offered me support. Again, a live saving moment.
The boards are great, but sometimes I need to talk to someone one on one from here. BND is just one of the posters who has called me at times when I needed someone the most. She has saved me numerous times from doing something self-destructive. The only way I could of given her my phone number was through email.
Without posting my email address I would of never of met some of the wonderful posters here in person. Some of us have become very close. My new friends became a part of my life and understood where I was coming from, unlike my everyday friends who have never walked in my shoes. They also became a good part of me GAL. The email address I used was seperate from my everyday email address. I never opened an email from anyone here unless I knew who it was from.
Bottom line is, I would of never been able to make it without some of the wonderful people I have met here. Aren't I a big girl to make decisions for myself on whether or not I want someone to have my email address?
I would just like some of the newcomers to have the same opportunity that I had, if they wish.
I know there is also the private messages here in our profile, but do they even work?
I was kidding with you. You have no posts deleted on this thread.
sg
Actually there have been at least two, Jack's was deleted by Virgina, and Jeanette had another post that I am almost certain was on this thread, on the subject of email addresses.
