searching for the truth..for me 2

[phbear316]

SG,

Ok I am in for the winery tours. Count me in.

I LOVE the idea of the wine bar/laundromat idea. We could throw in Jenny's gourmet cookies and we are set.

This would be a great job for lots of us. I have experience i used to work in a laundromat/dry cleaners years ago. OH this is great. I need a new job, always wanted to own my own business

Sounds like a great idea to me....As i head downstairs to finish the 3 loads of laundry H did not finish today, for he had to go out.

Nice right.

What better way to get your laundry done. I think i will go get a glass of wine right now.

thank you
hugs
bear

[john210]

Wow!!!!!!

I just read edie and lwb and I think that both these posts hit me like a ton of bricks.
I will copy and paste them and e-mail thme to myself. You are both so right.
Sorrybear for hijacking here...I needed that slap in the face.

[W2G]

Man, I really wished I liked wine.. maybe I should try it again. It sounds so nice when you and Jeanette talk about drinking your wine while doing housework. I'm boring.. I just do the housework! Maybe it would make it more fun. Unfortunately I'm more of a beer drinker.. much less refined!

I'm wondering Bear how to help you with the anger. I feel angry about my sitch at times but most of the time I make a concentrated effort not too.. 'cause for me to stay in my "Happy" state that I'm trying to create for myself the anger doesn't get me feeling the way I need to. I know your H is completely disrespectful.. and absolutely blind to what a great person he has for a W.. and I know how it feels for H to be gone all the time (I lived like that for a month.. and couldn't take it so I asked my H to get out).. I am amazed that you've endured for as long as you have.. so I get the reasons behind the anger.. I just don't know how to help you get yourself through that stage.. I think it counteracts all of the things you are trying to do to make a happier you.. you are not detached.. I wish I knew how to do it. I'm not very good at doing it either.. I hope that someone reading your thread can post a step by step plan in how to detach.. but I'm pretty certain it's different for everyone.

Just my thoughts. Love you ((Bear)).. and I really want you to be happy...

W2G

[sgctxok]

I guess if you're doing the laundry on YOUR bday and HE's going out...you need a DB intervention. Expect us all in a few hours. We're going to have to get some flights. Plus we've had the wine, so we may get lost. But we'll be there. We'll help you fold and put away.

[phbear316]

john210-no apologies necessary. I am so glad it helped you.

W2G, does not matter what you drink, wine, beer, hard liquor, It just makes cleaning and laundry so my better to do. Put the beer in a wine glass, oh who am i kidding, i drink wine coolers from a bottle, Just enjoy that is the main idea. You MUST add wine/beer to your house cleaning routine, along with good music, makes it much more tolerable.

Although SG has a warning, don't drink too much and try to match socks, does not work well. LOL

Yes anger is a problem for me. I grew up not showing any anger, i let everyone walk all over me, time after time after time for years. And all i did was counter back with what can i do to make that person happy, and put my feelings in a box and locked them away. H refuses to leave, and i will not leave either. I want my home. It is half mine as much as his. Are there days i want to move out, yes, but that lasts for about 5 minutes. I am going to try my best to keep my home, I know in my heart it will be impossible but I am not going down without a fight. Just like my marriage not going down without a fight.

SG, If i knew you guys were coming for a laundry party, i need to get more wine and more socks. LOL

hugs
bear

[Jeanette1120]

Hehehehe......you guys are cracking me up I see I've started a new way of doing house WORK! NOT! I have always found it to be helpful tho.

It's how I set my mood to accomplish things I normally would "Do tomorrow what I should do today"!

bear....your attitude is reaching whole new levels!! I'm so proud of you! I know you have your setbacks as we all do, but yours are not as often nor do they last as long.

I am not going down without a fight. Just like my marriage not going down without a fight.

Exactly!

You have control believe it or not. You can set the pace. You oneday will have to make a choice.

Hugs!!!!

Jeanette

[phbear316]

Hey Jeanette

I realized a little while ago, i owe you a picture. I will get around to it. Promise.

Well I made a choice today, to make one of two calls. So I called EHS services, unfortunately all of the lawyers wer busy, so i told them i would call back tomorrow. I guess i should have then called mother in law, but i had very limited time during workday. Head boss is on a rampage, so was not interested in rocking the boat.

I tried to get one thing done. I hope tomorrow i can get on the phone again. I am not so sure i want/or ready to speak to mil yet. I was looking to take the coward way out and leave a message on her machine.

off to the gym, be back later on
bear

[Jeanette1120]

LOL.....don't say you'll get around to it you promise!! I might just start calling you Rich remember....taking the cowards way out is not how we operate.

Honey.....call her. Get it over with as it might not be as bad as you think. The longer you wait the more water flows under the bridge. Bite the bullet sweetie, be the bigger person. It will be one less thing to take off your plate of "Worry".

Ok.....off to hit the couch It was 93 this weekend and my sunburn has finally turned into a suntan and well...hehehehe! Lets just say the sun zaps your energy playing in it all weekend

Kudos to you bear....your sticking to the gym! I love it!

Hugs,

Jeanette

[phbear316]

Jeanette, and my other DB friends

I need advice on this. Remember over the weekend h and i are talking about nephew and high school graduation. Well if i remember the conversation correctly, h made a statement of since you are his aunt it would be nice and the right thing to do for you to go to his graduation. I am told no dates, when graduation is, the only statement that is made is h saying a decision needs to be made soon so airline tickets can be bought. Nothing was said about one ticket two tickets, nothing.

Ok fast forward hours later. I am moving h's car into the driveway tonight , and i find a piece of paper folded on the passenger seat. I open it up the paper and low and behold its a jet blue confirmation for him from may 24th to june 6th. One ticket. OK WTF just happened.

Did i miss something. I did not say yes to going I did not say no to going. He just hit me with the statement of I should be the good aunt and go. But nothing else more was discussed. Did i miss the mind reading part of when his graduation was and when the party was? Did i totally miss something. Can someone please tell me what is going on?

My boss is very liberal with my vacation. But, and i say but right now we are under very tight financial issues, so i would have to have a backup person do my job. I would need to make sure that this person is not on vacation during the time nephew is to graduate. He did not give me a chance to think about it.

Was i supposed to jump on the quazi (sp sorry) invitation to florida. I thought i was BD and trying to go dark. I was never given any information, or even asked it i wanted or was going. It was just a statement that it would be a good thing for his aunt to be there.

Now what do I do. Now i have to find out all this information on my own, find my own place to stay. and pay for my own ticket, possible rental car? What is going on here. And i never had that glass of wine yesterday so it was not that.

Help, ideas, suggestion, comments all welcome.

Jeanette, I know i have to call her and i will, i just really wanted the time to dedicate to her. Not with lots of interruptions, which i had a ton of today. I promise you will not be calling two people Rich.

Oh life must be so hard, having to sleep off a sun tan. I can only wish and dream for that. LOL you know i am kidding you. Happy you got some tanning in.
Yes i am proud of myself too for sticking with the gym. I am down 30 pounds now.

(hugs)
bear

[W2G]

Hey Bear,

Hope you had a good workout.. and good luck with the phone call(s) tomorrow. We're behind you 100%!!!!

W2G