Hey SPM, going for bike rides is a good thing. I can't wait for warmer weather so I could start.
When I see you write about your children, and how your miss them, it breaks my heart. So many men walk away from them, or have no time for them, and you want to see them more. It's just wrong. I have got to believe that in the end, all of this is worth it. That we will all find happiness and peace.
While your wife seems to be spiraling out of control, this may be good for you--and ultimately good for her as well.
You will be able to refute everything she has alleged in court where it will be public record. She will finally have to account publicly for the discrepancies between her allegations and the truth. Hopefully the court will send her a wake-up call and she'll hear it. Even if she doesn't hear it, you will be on your way to putting a home together for you and your kids.
Sir - Just a thought. Can you go to court and remain totally calm, cool, and in control? If so, great. If not - if you think you might get emotional, or angry, or allow W to push your buttons - take some precautions, okay? One long-time poster here had an H who made absurd allegations, but got the judge to believe him because she would get anxious and shaky and appear like a "hysterical woman" in court (as she was getting shafted by his outright lies.)
One solution to this problem is to ask your doctor for a prescription for a very tiny dose of a type of blood pressure medicine called beta blockers. They work by keeping your heartrate from rising, and are often used in small doses by performers to control stage fright, because they dampen that adrenaline reaction.
(I would stay away from any valium-type drugs, which could make you appear intoxicated).
Of course, if you feel confident in your ability to appear calm, cool, and collected, you don't need anything else.
I completely agree w/ your take on SPM's court situation. Once his W's crazy stories are out in the open, where will she be able to point the finger? Will she say that SPM lied and hid documents and evidence from the courts? Who will believe that? How will she face her family and friends who she's told all these awful, untrue stories to about SPM? It will be public record and indisputable.
I am in the same boat w/ our pending parenting evaluations, so I too can completely understand SPM. I think he's completely in great shape here and let's hope our judicial system is worth their salt and does the right thing.
Keep going SPM. You are doing the right thing, and despite the difficulties of it all, you will prevail.
SPM, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Please speak clearly, calmly and with conviction. Remember your children. Remember that you are telling the truth. Remember most importantly, that you matter, you are worthy. The high road is the right road. Best of luck.
Thank you thank you thank you everyone. This is a nervouse time for me.
I am looking forward to the hearing - finally getting my say. Finally I have a chance at some justice. I hope the picture emerges clearly there.
My position will be - She doesn't want to be married to me, and there's nothing I can do about that. But her desire to dissolve our marriage does not justify a Domestic Violence allegation, nor does it justify me losing my access to our children.
I woke up not so calm today but as the day as gone on, I am calmer. I like the idea of the beta blockers but am a little shy of trying them the first time, in court. If only I'd had mroe time to try that out.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
Sir, Just remember to measure twice, and cut once! Or, think twice, and talk once. From what I've read, if you give her the rope, she'll take care of everything herself!
