I don't know if this will get off the ground, but I wanted to see if any of you were interested in joining me in this project. Since we already have this new forum about not forgetting about ourselves, I thought this would fit here. If any of you have read my story then you know I was an almost WAW. I met OM over the internet and it turned into an EA. Mainly b/c I was going through MLC (which I didn't realize), I just thought I was having a hard time facing the next birthday. I was beginning to see my youth and looks disappear rapidly and it was hard on me. The OM fed my ego and made me feel beautiful. He was a little younger than me but he said it made no difference. I was very flattered and I worked hard to look good for him. I lost weight, started exercising, had my hair colored differently, really spruced up with the make-up and clothes. Several people made comments about how good I was looking. I even walked with more pep in my step.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I did not leave my H and remained in the M. The thing is......I immediately started putting the weight back on and letting myself go. I tried to keep it off but I had no motivation what-so-ever. My H always appreciated me lookig good and never complained about my weight, so why would I not want to look good for him as much as I did for the OM? As one good DB friend told me, I did not have to "win" my H. It wasn't a challenge for me like it was to win the younger OM. And, that is so true with me.....I need the challenge! In fact, if my H was to meet an OW.....oh, I would work myself to death to look good and to keep him. Of course I don't want that to happen, but I just know myself well enough to know that it would be the "challenge". Guess that makes me sound bad, but just being honest. I know I have taken my H for granted in our M. But, it's not right to let myself go......and I don't want to. Plus, like a lot of others, I have some health problems that makes it very easy to use for excuses. So, I need a support group and I was hoping maybe there were some more out there that had some similar issues and would join me on this forum and we could help each other by journaling and encouraging each other in doing 180's in our appearances/health. I know by reading there are a lot of you that have low self esteem and I think this may be a way we could help each other with that problem. It doesn't have to be just about weight.
This forum is way down on the list and may not be seen by many b/c I noticed that not many have responded before I wrote this post today. I will wait anxiously to see if any of you are interested.
I don't know that it would be neccessary for everyone to rewrite their story (unless they wanted to), they could just place the link instead. We want to focus on our goals and accomplishments of GAL, and taking better care of ourselves physically, wheather it means to exercise, loose weight, taking medicine, get more sleep, self esteem, cleaning house while holding down a full time job.....whatever.
I think we should have specific goals and short term goals, you know...baby steps (lol) and then move to the next ones. I have discovered that long term goals get rather discouraging for me. I'm the type that I need to see some kind of results pretty soon.
So, I will start with just a few of my own goals.
1. First, I have an app't with my doctor Thursday and I am going to ask him to ween me off the Zoloft b/c it is making me eat everything in sight. I may try Welbutrin.
2. I have a little granddaughter that is overweight and she has moved from the country into town and doesn't get any exercise. I am going to see if she would like to go walking with me every afternoon that the weather permits. This will give us the benefit of exercising plus have time together. I have really neglected her this past year due to my own personal problems.
3. I plan to start today in making "life time" changes in my eating habits. No crazy diets, I've tried those. I know what some of my "triggers" are that set me into a tail-spin of binge eating (like sugar). Even though I did not start the day out good, I'm going to start now anyway. I use to think if I messed up one time, then I might as well wait until the next day to start.....but that didn't work at all b/c ususally I would mess us the next day also. Kind of like waiting for tomorrow to come.....it never does.
Well, that is all I'm going to say at this time. I sure hope somebody out there will join me and let's help each other while we are also working on the MR.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi..just a friendly post. Posting that link on everyone's thread is becoming irritating to many and is now looking like 'spam'. It's an old link, doesn't work for everybody and is coming across as a cureall. It might be a good idea to stop it to keep credibility. Just a friendly comment. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I didn't realize the trouble it would cause. I was excited about what I had found and was trying to get it to mostly the men since it was a free email newletter to them. Plus I was very excited about Michelle's books. Anyway, I got tired of typing to individuals and just got the idea to copy and past the same message and go down the line of active topics. How stupid! I had no idea that people would react the way they did when I was just trying to help. Anyway, I didn't realize it was old to everyone else, some did thank me that were newer to the board. I learned my lesson and won't do it again. I did not even think about "spamming" when I was doing that. Stayed up for hours....lol. Then got kicked of the board and had no idea why. Anyway, they forgave my ignorance and let me come back.
I appreciate your "friendly post". Others told me about the same thing, but it was after I got back on board. I didn't know until it was too late. I tried to go back and appologize to everyone that I sent one of those post to, but I may have missed some. But thanks for caring enough to say something in a nice way. I am here only to try to help others in anyway I can and to reach out to them to help me.
Appreciate you.
Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, let me brainstorm with you. In essence, its a GAL/180 regardings looks!
I'm sure the guys will love this! Smiles to you macho men!
I love to make lists. So here goes: >>Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. (Watch the salad dressing!) >>Limit sugar intake, especially sodas or diet drinks. >>Eat healthy. >>Eat more fiber. (Keeps you full) >>Carry healthy energy bars with you for a snack. >>Do not smoke. Stay away from second-hand smoke. However, if you are a smoker, try to quit.
>>Visit your local bookstore, and look at hairstyle magazines. Choose your favorite, and purchase magazine. Make an appointment with hair stylist, and show stylist how you want your hair done. >>Try different hair styles (hair straightening, perms, parting of hair, up-dos, etc.), hair colors (color treatments), and hair accessories (scarves, headbands, claws). >>Go to your local bookstore, and read about make-up application, and which brands are the best. >>Search the Net on make-up application, and make-up brands. >>Try on new lipstick colors. >>Buy new make-up. >>Get a new wardrobe, and use new complimentary colors. Donate the clothes you no longer want to charity. >>Start a walking/jogging/running program. Or sign up for a dance class. Exercise is vital! >>Firm specific body areas with a workout DVD, and/or dumbells. >>Try on different type of bras that are complimentary to your needs. >>Do not forget to remove your make-up. >>Moisturize your skin right after a shower. The emollient stays in longer. >>Exfolliate your skin to keep the dead cells off. Your face will be smoother. >>Use sunscreen. >>Smile more. >>Do random acts of kindness so others see your true heart. >>Cry and vent at the right time. You don't want to be caught off-guard with tears, a frown, or frustrated face. >>If you had a long crying session, slice cold cucumbers into thin pieces, and place it over eyes. It works as a compress - and feels heavenly! >>Get your eyebrows and face professionally waxed. >>Indulge in a massage. >>Soak your feet in warm water and peppermint oil after a long day. >>Get a manicure and/or pedicure. >>Indulge in a facial. Do a Google search, and make your own, homemade concoction. Please remember, choose a facial for YOUR skin type. >>Play with children. They make you laugh! (I'm thinking positive.) >>Make eye contact with people. Do not feel ashamed just b/c you're going through The Coaster. >>If you wear glasses, buy a different style! >>If you wear contacts, change to a different color? >>Before you buy things at the store, read the labels. Be cautious of unhealthy food. >>If you want to indulge in something, lets say, chocolate icecream, buy ONE icecream bar. However, if weight is not a problem, do not worry. >>Hug a female friend or family member. I hear it works wonders. >>Watch a funny movie. Laughter helps the frustrated face.
Was I helpful?
Perhaps each point does not apply, but it was just a brainstorming session. (I almost wrote brainstorming sexsion!)
Hi Sandi! If you need to jump-start your exercise goals, I suggest buying a pedometer. The least expensive is five dollars. It will count the number of steps that you walk; thus, you can increase it slowly.
