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Retrouvaille works!!! We were scheduled to go to trial in my divorce on February 22nd and when we spoke we could not agree on the time of day...folks if you want to stop your divorce and you can get your spouse to go (this program is apparently in every state) then take what you have learned here and sign up for a Retrouvaille weekend. You will not be required to share anything in a group setting...you will not even have to speak to anyone except your spouse in the privacy of your room and of the 20 couples who went through this weekend with us I don't know of any who did not leave there committed to their marriage ad armed with tools to make it work ...they claim a success rate of 80% of the couples still being together after 2 years from their weekend of Retrouvaille (retro vye) (means rejuveninate or renewal) its not religious even though it is sponsored by the Catholic Church and its open to anyone who is tired of hurting and wants to start healing ...very powerful stuff ...very well done...extremely effective ...and I was the biggest skeptic you could imagine walking in the door.
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Love...Trust...Forgiveness...are not feelings ...they are choices ...and they are verbs!!

Last edited by rogerrespondent; 02/18/08 03:56 AM.

LOVE....TRUST....FORGIVENESS...ARE CHOICES AND VERBS ....NOT FEELINGS!
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Yeah! Congratulations!


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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Congratulations on your reconciliation, Roger. It is a wonderful feeling isn't it? My husband and I did our weekend a little over a year ago. It was the best thing we ever did for ourselves.

I don't know if you've done the Post sessions yet. But be sure to do them. They are very valuable too. Healing is a process and it takes time. The weekend turns you around. It stops the damage, and starts the process of healing. But it takes a long time to get all the way back to feeling safe to even be able to have an argument with your spouse.

Since Retrouvaille is hard to spell, I like to recommend http://www.helpourmarriage.org as the web address. They both work, but I think this one is easier to remember.

Hope you'll share more about your weekend with the people on this board. There are many who are interested. Unfortunately, the hardest part is getting the spouse to agree to go. How did you do it?

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I rolled the big dice with her and told her that if she would go ...with an open mind ...and complete the program (I am Catholic and told her it was required before I could ask for a church annulment ...a lie which Plato would call a "noble Lie")and the follow ups with me and if she could honestly look me in the eye and tell me she saw no progress for us in resolving our issues and reconnecting again then I would allow her to "roll her own divorce order" (within reason of course) and we could fast track it if she wanted too...she thought about it ...she checked out the program to make sure she would not be required to speak at all and then agreed ... we plan on attending the follow ups but the program was so power ful and the presenters were so good and their issues were so far beyond anything we ever faced and the Catholic Priest who more or less MC'd the whole thing was soo good at bringing the issues into focus that out of 20 couples (sold out) who attended I could not identify any who weren't totally committed to their marriage by this afternoon when we wrapped up ...it's too bad that more spouses aren't able to pull their heads out long enough to take 2 days just to make sure ...the feeling I have about their unwillingness to put love first and give something like this a try is exasperation and as a feeling it is about an 8 on a scale of 1-10 ...if it were a color it would be a dark gray and would smell like rotten fruit on a hot summerday and taste like bile. (lol)


LOVE....TRUST....FORGIVENESS...ARE CHOICES AND VERBS ....NOT FEELINGS!
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I like your images. You definitely got the hang of dialogue. We were surprised when we got to the post session and only about half the group from the weekend was there. We knew that some couldn't make it for one reason or another, but we had to face the fact that some couples did decide to fold after Retrouvaille. That didn't stop us from plowing ahead.

I'm glad you had such a good experience. We felt the same way about our weekend. Our problems were small compared to the presenting couples. And to look in their eyes and see the love they had for each other. It was so inspiring! You know, I don't think I've really seen a lot of loving couples in my life. It was such a good experience to be able to learn from them.

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how descriptive


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
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Roger,

I don't know if you are new here, or have lurked a while and are just beginning to post. The names of people here who have been to Retrouvaille are: Hopeforfuture and Mom of 2 Cherubs, Heartbroken, Ediemarie, Limbo, Ponygirl, and myself. There may be a couple more, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.

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and THIS guy is hoping to go... Had the opportunity recently to bring it up with my W but I did not. Thanks to Mom of 2 for reminding me that if it truly WAS the right time, it would have come up.


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Me: 39/W: 37
D13-D11-S8
M/T 14/20

EA confirmed: 9/13/07
D-Bomb: 9/19/07
OM Gone since 12/18/07
W wants to fix marriage: 3/16/07
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We're rooting for you Michael. Those 3 children deserve parents who are willing to make an effort to give them an intact family. It's a precious commodity you can't buy in a store.

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Hey MMC,

How Ya doing??? I'm sitting in a motel room by myself in Backersfeild......in the morning.... Vegas...

Husband


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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