I have the intensive with Michele in less than three weeks, but I am afraid I might just flip out on him before them. I am simply not accustomed to be disrespected and taking it. I think he is particulary aggitated because his sister, and on Wed. his mom, will be visiting for two weeks. If I come around his lies about our sitch will fall apart.
DO you think your H is going through some kind of crisis? If he is, his actions are not going to make much sense at times. Keep up the DBing for your own well-being, at least, if not for the R. I hope you are able to get through the intensive with your H, especially if you've already paid for it and if it's non-refundable. I am sure talking with Michele will be very helpful. If I were you, I would rock the boat as little as possible, with your H, to maiximize the chances of him attending the intensive.
Thank you. As I know everyone can relate to the fact that at times the stress of the sitch and our spouse's behavior can be overwhelming. At times I feel as if I am on the edge ready to jump. Jump right out of this sitch. The advice here helps to bring me down.
Your right. I don't want to risk him not attending the intensive and I don't want to give him a reason to resist Michele's advice once he is there. We were able to talk calmly later last night. I need to stop trying to take control of a sitch that is out of my control at the moment. That would be something different for me and after all I am trying to make positive and lasting changes. Old habits die hard.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
I wouldn't worry about presents for anyone right now, esp. if finances are really tough......you could make a cake or cookies or something for the visitors.
Hang in there.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
I just had a very scary sitch. I had to put the intensive our credit card because of some issues with my personal card (long story) and I didn't want to lose my spot. He saw it this morning, looked into it, completely lost it, and told me to cancel the trip and intensive. He said he is done with counselors and that she can't change his mind. I was able to calm him down and let him know that this is for my closure with the sitch. Um, excuse me but what marriage and family counselor only helps people work out their marriage they have to be able to help people to work through divorce if the marriage doesn't work out. He reagreed to go, but said the minute she starts talking about reconciliation he is walking out. I just had to get that off my chest. That was SCARY to say the least.
All I can do now is pray, pray and pray some more that God softens his heart.
Last edited by HOPEFULinCALI; 02/13/0806:22 PM.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Also I bought a book by his favorite author and some of his favorite candy with a simple card. I only wrote "happy valentines day love, tifani". I figured the love was ok since he still writes it to me in xmas and b-day cards. Too much? It isn't romantic at all.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
That sounds like a good gift. It's seems pretty lowkey and I believe it wouldn't cause any guilt.
On the same note, anyone think the book "The Walk Out Woman" would be harmful to give to a relatively new WAW? I found it helpful to understand my WAW thoughts and would like to tell her that in a short note with the book.
guinness, If I were you, I would think very carefully before giving it to her. If you believe in God, pray for guidance in this. Remember that you probably know her better than anyone here, and try to put yourself in her shoes. Have you read Divorce Remedy and about pursuing? Also remember to avoid giving them advice as then they will try all the harder to convince you they are ok, or whatever is opposite of what you're telling them.
So my H's mom, sister and cousin (didn't know about the cousin coming) have been visiting over the last few weeks. Their visits have been staggered and his cousin is the last one to leave today. When she first arrived I came home to see that she was wearing my house slippers. Under a normal sitch this would not be a big deal, but this is on top of all the disrespectful things he has done in the past six months. So I ask where are my slippers. He says he has no idea. What am I am idiot they are on her feet. This was Thursday night.
This is the one that really got me. Apart from my full time job I am also an independent sales consultant for a makeup company. Saturday I go into the guest bedroom where we have several things stored only to notice in plain view that several of my products are in her suitcase. I don't say anything. Yesterday I ask H, "have you seen my products, several are missing" and I go on to name the items I saw in her suitcase. She pretends to be ignoring the conversation, but I see her turn to him when she thinks I am out of the room and ask him about it. They say something in Greek I don't understand. This morning I notice that she has taken the care to hide the products under the lining of her suitcase. I go to H and say, "why are my products in there" and I point to the bedroom. He walks over to the bedroom and I leave because 1. No matter what his friends and family say or do I am the bad guy 2. We are going to the intensive on Friday and I don't want to make waves 3. I don't know who took it, but I do know that whether she knew or not at the time that it was wrong she knows now and has not only not come clean, but tried to hide the fact that she has them.
How do I respond to this. Either my H, SIL, or his cousing took the products and stole from my biz. This is BS. She is leaving today so I can't confront her and she will probably deny it if I bring it up to H. Or H will deny it if he took them. Point is I don't think that anyone will come clean particularly him if he took it, but stealing from my biz is NOT OK. I don't think I can or should let it slide. Am I wrong?
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Point is I don't think that anyone will come clean particularly him if he took it, but stealing from my biz is NOT OK. I don't think I can or should let it slide. Am I wrong?
You're right that it's wrong to steal from you. Think about whether bringing this up will negatively impact the outcome of your intensive on Fri. Perhaps, you can bring this up during your intensive (preferably privately between you and Michele). Just my 2 cents. -PH
