Thx to all you well wishers . .BobbiJo, Faithful, IWanna, Blindsided1, Where2 & RTL(who's feeling like me:(
As is always the case I saunter back to this BB and make believe like I have a life.
Not that I will be asking her this anytime soon (or maybe never) but, "If what you are doing is so right, why do you seem to be acting and feeling as though it is very wrong?"
Before I tried to lay down on the bed last night, I went back to putting pen to paper with some poetry. I still have the romantic side of me working even in the aftermath of that encounter. More than likely that will take the place of sleep for the foreseeable future.
God's keeping me around for something. There is a shred of happiness.
Before she departed last night she came right up along side of me when I was laying up on the bed and refuted that I am a committed S to the M saying "if you are so committed, then where did the commitment go when you did your online Yahoo personals perusing for six months in '06", "the amount of pain you caused me resulting fm the discovery of your ad totally destroyed my trust in you and I should never have come back after the pain you put me through".
Then she proceeded to venture further into her bag of tricks and try to give me her wedding ring set back, suggesting that once I got settled down in my new life I could find someone to wear it. SHe just doesn't get it. The only madeover "new" life I would go for could only be with her and I told her so. So then she said that I should hock the stone for some $ at least. And I told her it was expressly meant for her and will always remain hers. And after she asked if she left it with me would I just throw it away, I said yes . So she took it along with her and headed for the door making sure to clearly say I love you in her distraught, emotional state.
I don't know how to handle this or what to do or anything.
I am sorry to hear you had to have this conversation Tomato. I'm not the best DBer but I think you handled it well.. although your heart must have been aching.
Your W just sounds sooo confused.. I guess it's just proof that you can't believe 100% of what they're saying.
Hang in there. You've got a lot of fight left in you I'm sure!
W2G
And about the poetry... I wish my guy was in to writing poetry.. very romantic quality in a man!
Thanks a bunch. I am probably not the best DBer either, though I have only been at it a short time and I am just getting started.
One thing I made sure of last night (not that I am the best judge)was that I never let a smile depart from my face. Because I wanted to let her know how much she lights me up. And I did a fair amount of validating her verbally and probably more so with body language and moving myself relatively close to her while she talked (which she did 99% of). I was able to adhere very closely to the brief plan of conduct I had, and for that I am proud.
Defensiveness has always been a major stumbling block of mine to overcome. And for myself I think I did great on avoiding that, something she would probably attest to.
One of the wierdest moments and funny just the same, came when we first entered the motel rm. There was an awkward silence which was kinda to be expected as we were suddenly in an enclosed space, and one where we had on numerous occasions used a bedroom for the best thing you can use one for . .ML. It just so happened while we were standing just inside the door the first thing she says is "you were just staring @ my boobs, weren't you". And while I wasn't staring at them perse, her chest is the size of Mt Rushmore. So, we both got a chuckle out of that moment. And then she went on to further keep the focus on her mammaries by asking me if in my looking I happening to notice an extra lift to them. She quizzed me on whether I could guess what the sizzing of this new brassiere was. Rushmore doesn't have much on a pair of 44H's.
And that's my story for now. That is a pleasant thought to end it on.
Lord thanks for breasts. They are splendid things. LOL.
Hi tomato. Just catching up... took a bit of a break.
Just keep hanging in there. She is as confused as you are in all of this, even if she won't admit it. Now that you are really working on communicating better and controlling your defensiveness, she's probably doing a lot of thinking...
Just be patient with W, the process and most of all God. He's got his own timline...
ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
Tomato, my friend. I have to apologize for leaving your thread for a couple of days, but I know you understand.
In any event, I'm very proud to hear your DBing with your attitude worked very well. Keep it going and come here to vent, talk, cry, scream, and question. We'll give you something to chew on, regardless of whether it is sound or not.
I'm getting ready to head out the door to meet with a lawyer. Well, I guess I'm really interviewing him 1st, then deciding what to do next.
Tomato, I think you will feel better after some well needed rest. I know it hurts, but it will pass. Thinking of you.
Thanks for this Blinsided1, trouble is I don't know that for the next long while I will be able to get rest. I just don't see that happening. Guess I will have to go back to taking some melatonin to help me knock off.
