Thank you. You have given me some things to think about. I normally only get my husband a present. For any gift giving holiday I would know exactly what I want to get him just by the things that he says or does, but since we hardly see each other it is difficult to know.
Are you planning on doing something for your H's?
I've decided not to ask him about moving in for now. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize going to the intensive. I am unhappy that he will be lying to his family by telling them we are divorced or that he filed for a divorce while they are here.
Thanks again!!!
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
HiC, I am not planning on doing anything for my H. I am going to let him take the lead. This has been my DB strategy as a rule for romantic occasions, and it works better for us this way. Last year was the only time I initated celebrating his BD.
Sometimes I feel like he has complete control. I try not to give him that power, but it is such an overwhelming and foreign feeling for me. I drives me crazy that I feel as if I have no say in our future.
I'll try to get my mind off of it, enjoy the rest of the day and tomorrow is a brand new day. Thanks for the encouragement.
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
I have the double coming up... V-day and my W's b-day which is a week later. Ugh! I have decided that I will help the kids do something for their mom, but I won't be doing anything directly. No cards, no gifts. It will be obvious that I assisted the kids, but it won't be something "I" would have gotten her, it will be what they want to do. I will just be financing it. I figure that way she will get something from the boys and see that there is nothing from me other than helping them.
I was tempted to do something amazing for her b-day to show that I still care, but she will get that message by seeing that I helped the boys without signing my name to a card.
The hard part will be explaining it to the kids. I am sure I will manage.
-B
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
That is rough. I would say you are doing the right thing. She still knows that you care. Shortly after our first separation was x-mas, my birthday and v-day and he got me presents for all three of course. That would have definitely peaked my interest if my H did not get me presents.
How are you doing otherwise? Your wife is lucky that you are making such an effort to save your marriage. Continued luck!
Posts Role Reversal(original) WAW now LBS part I & II WAW now LBS part III(current) T: 9 yrs M: 8 yrs WAW: Sep 06-Jul 07 LBS: Sep 07-pres.
Good plan. A Very good plan. The one with the boys.
Get a B Day card for her and sign it. Nothing mushy, or overly sentimental, a friendly one, with a simple signature, and do not give it to her. But keep it handy. Maybe even a small gift card to a book store of coffe shop.
IF she mentions that you didn't get her anything pull it out and give it to her, saying that you wanted to give her space, and weren't planning on it unless she said something.
Otherwise do not give it to her.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Now THAT's a plan! I will just do that. You da man! Thanks for the suggestion. It is friends like you guys that keep me going and making positive steps toward getting my family back on the right track!
Thanks for being there for me! I know this will work. It will be on God's timetable, but I will be here when he does his thing.
-Bryan
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" Galatians 6:9
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
