It was no surprise to learn yesterday AM in a text fm W that she was way too exhausted and totally overwhelmed by what is going on in her life to even think about getting together to take care of sorting through and cleaning out storage place with me. So I did a little of it myself and left the rest of it for another time. The book reading is going well. And when I get tired of that there is a whole bunch of other stuff for me to get caught up on (isn't that always the way).
I was mildly stung by a brief phone conversation that I had with D14 yesterday. If you are new to this thread, she is not legally my D (but in my heart she is) and she & I had some tense moments over MLK weekend. So she was planning on spending this weekend with W, until W cancelled out on her for this & next weekend. So I figured I would offer D14 the chance to get away from foster home she lives at for either this weekend or next one and she declined both. Oh well, I am and will continue trying to be the very best Dad I can be to this sweet child and I will see where that gets me.
Be happy in the knowlege that our heavenly Father has it all under control.
No contact with W on Sunday at all and it has probably been about 10 days since I last saw her. Even though I stayed fairly busy Sun., which is always good, it is hard to not get down over what is going on all around me. I'd like so much to be able to hold her & comfort her during this time when I know that she is such dire need of that. Then there is the part of this nightmarish scenario involving the life of a terribly fragile young girl who I refer to as my D even though she really isn't.
I could be so extremely close to having my W slip out of my life forever and for all I know the same might happen with the closest thing to my own D that I have ever known.
I think it is time to say prayers that tomorrow will be bright and I will be able to restore that PMA that I seem to have temporarily misplaced. I guess I'll take a melatonin to insure a good nights rest even though I am feeling like sleep won't be too much trouble. Good night and God bless you all.
Hi Ann, I just left U a msg as I was happy to see that your time on retreat went so well. I will have to find something like that for myself to do. I guess I should probably get off my butt and actually join a church one of these days. I would have already but my life/job has me pretty gypsy and nomadic-like. So I attend several churches but haven't been able to "put down roots" as my C encouraged me to do.
I probably should spend part of tomorrow laying out some goals and scrutinizing my progress in terms of 180's. I gotta make sure my efforts are being optimized in my extremely complex maze of struggles. Between my effort and the Lord's, we'll have it licked in no time. Gotta go do some talkin' to him and see what he has to say to me. Catch ya later. Stay in the straight paths the Lord our God provides.
Don't really have a lot of time right now, but just read that you are kinda looking for a church. Here is the website to the church that I go to... It's the international curch of christ. They have churches all over the world. Maybe you could check it out. Even if not, I really hope you find one!
Alright, enough of me being a bump on a log here. Before my vacation is over b4 I can say Boo, I am officially hanging the 'Closed for Vacation' sign on this thread for the next couple of days and propelling myself headlong into a vacation that I am a couple days behind on fully enjoying. Adios, I am off on a trek to soak in as much fun as is humanly possible with God at my side. BRB . . .not. You all get along and continue to learn & grow.
Geez, This board has a gravitational pull on me. I was trying to do the vacationing thing and it was going quite nicely. I guess this is just an intermission fm the last couple days of my vaca. I chose to head down to our nation's Capital and tour the D.C area.
It was a very enjoyable (but rather shortlived) adventure for me and my pooch. It was nice that I was able to find some fairly deluxe accomodations that were pet-friendly to boot. Me & Rue, my adorable blondie Keeshond/Samoyed, were styling with an awesome 10th flr skyline view of the Pentagon, Washington's Monument, etc. We have now returned and I am trying to find some more fun stuff to do to fill out the vacation. In the meantime I am here alone (but 4 Rue) and I am trying not to dwell on that.
May the Lord's blessings inspire you to share love with others.
ann