Less Traveled Roads

[hopefloats7]

I couldn't, Holly.

I didn't know what to say. I guess I was scared of what he would say.

[Sunflower23]

Hope,

Lord knows I am no expert here but that being said, I wouldn't have answered either. Some things just need to lay there and have time and space to be thought through. Personally, I think you did the right thing not answering. We are always so available, you and I.

Anyway, I really just stopped by to say "Hi Hope" and send you a hug. I think we both need one tonight.

((((((((((Hope)))))))))))

Love,
Sun

[hopefloats7]

Sun, you are so kind. Yes, I had been far too available for so long through all of this. I know I've made great strides. I think part of me felt all the more better when I knew I didn't need to answer the ringing phone. Just letting it lay there for a while, like you said.

[ACJ]

Hope,
I'm not being judgemental here just writing what I see.

I can see the validity of both opinions: pick up the phone or not.

However what I also see is that by NOT picking up the phone after sending a message that could be construed as you making an attempt to get a reaction out of your H that he might feel you are playing games with him and don't actually mean what you say in the text.

Just my two pennies

[hopefloats7]

If you do nothing else this weekend, go see "The Bucket List".
You will laugh.
You will cry. A lot.
And you will understand what is important in life.
Life truly is short. We have a lot of living left to do, with or without our spouse.
Please see it.
Hugs,
Hope

[hopefloats7]

Hello.
Just thought I'd post to say hi to my friends here. I don't have a lot to update about H but that doesn't even bother me. He still sends these arbitrary text messages, mostly at night, asking about this or that, and I reply cordially, but (and I think those who've been in this as long as me understand) you come to a point where you just shake your head. We do not have a relationship. I'm putting my focus on other, more rewarding things now.
My new class has begun. It's going to be fairly intense but I am excited to learn. My full time job is going well. I'm always so busy with that, but I like the people I work with, so it makes it a pleasure. I still see my family quite a bit; will be having dinner with them again tomorrow for a sibling's birthday. I just changed some decorating around in my apt. and it looks very cute! Oh, and I had a delicious make your own sundae this past week...delightful. So, things are pretty good with me.
Sometimes at odd moments this all still hurts, but it lessens with time. For that, I thank God.
I hope everyone is doing well, too.

[angelica]

Hope, who really knows what is going on in anyone else's mind, let alone someone coming out of MLC? He is coming out, IMO, damaged, unconfident, hurting. Without the energy or enthusiasm to work on himself.

And it has been a long time. What takes me by surprise, still after all this time, are the occasional really BAD days, when the pain is as sharp and fresh as it ever was. But they pass, and we know they will pass.

I am glad that your class is challenging. And that you are having fun.
A

[ACJ]

Hope good to hear that you are still moving forward in a positive way with your life.

Your H is still 'cooking'. Let him 'baste' in his own misery for a while. IF he wants a new R with you he will let you know. Then it will be a case of IF you still want him. I suspect when it happens that will come as a VERY big shock to him.

[hopefloats7]

Alison, honestly I don't right care if he's still cooking or not. I am not worried about it anymore. I just cannot pour anymore precious time into if, when, etc. I still care about him and I always will, but I have a life to live. We all do. I think many of these spouses get a far longer chance, timewise, than they deserve.

[ACJ]

Couldn't agree more Hope was just reminding you that now all this time down the line it will be your decision. I don't think any of us appreciate that when we first come here.