I couldn't help but chuckle a bit about your convo with S8 about how stuff gets out a guy's penis.
I remember having those convos with my S b/c I knew his Dad would not. I even recall him asking me how gays and lesbians do it. I wasn't prepared to go there, and even then I didn't know much about alternatives, so I just told him I wasn't sure, but the important thing was they were in a loving R with each other.
It was a tough place to be for a single mom, but in retrospect, I believe I did very well by my S. I see him now (nearly 25), and he is a loving husband and father, well grounded, a good teacher. I believe his W is the only woman he's ever slept with, and I believe that is something he cherishes (although I'm quite certain they didn't wait till they were married). He and his W seem to have a very good M. On the surface, it appears she's in the driver's seat most of the time. OTOH, I've seen her push him just a tad too far, and all he had to do was give her a "look" and she hushed.
OTOH, I see my poor, dear DD28, who is struggling and who's life is a mess. She has a very poor track record with R's. Her R with her dad is a mess, and she's still trying to get him to come to her rescue. It's nearly cost her the guardianship of her own DS2.5.
Children can and do survive divorce, and can grow and become wonderful, productive, happy adults. IMHO and my humble experience, what I think really matters is the R they have with both of their parents while growing up.
Single parenting presents us with many unforeseen challenges, but I really think no more than parenting when both parents work.
Regardless of a situation, we deal with the hand we have, working daily through emotions, homework, laundry, conflict and all the joys of life and children we honestly could not imagine our lives without.
Glad to help out Bethie. Yes, the bar is now open. Pick your poison, folks.
I think I feel most relaxed about the chaos that is parenting when I realize or remind myself that I am doing my best, and that he'll survive. In fact, he's thriving. Now its up to me to work harder at enjoying this short time with him.
How about a wee bit of NyQuil? Never mind, that has alcohol. TheraFlu?
Opportunities. What a concept. I met a few people today whom I had not seen for years, and some asked about my ex-wife. I explained that "she had other things to pursue which were more important to her," and one guy laughed, then praised my choice of words. He hasn't gone through this, but he's had his own struggles in his life. We talked a bit about how this has worked out so well for me. Who da thunk it when first posting in Newcomers, eh? Not only was I not going to be on this forum, I was going to be the success story poster child. After all, my WA was "different."
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Who da thunk it when first posting in Newcomers, eh? Not only was I not going to be on this forum, I was going to be the success story poster child. After all, my WA was "different."
I don't remember you saying that.
Now honestly Joe, aren't you at least kinda glad that you are on this forum? It's no fun on newcomers....there is way to much pain and suffering. And don't tell anyone, but I think that "baby steps" are the two most evil words in the DB dictionary.
Fl, welcome to your new thread. I'll take a red beer....I find the tomato juice is good for me.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Well I was the one who told my kid all about the birds and the bees. He wasn't very comfortable but since his Dad wasn't going to do it someone had to.
I used to bring it up in small doses seeing he didn't really want to talk about it. Oneday when I brought it up he asked me if I had a problem, because all I wanted to do was talk about sex. OK
