My trip to visit brother was fine, we didn't do much, except I avoided thinking about my life! Step-cousin wasn't all that hospitable to S, maybe he'd had enough of family during the holidays.
Being back has not been so great. Honestly, I need to get back in to see my new T--the first time I saw her, the X was engaged but the wedding date unknown.
I know this is ridiculous, but I dread going into work. As if everyone will know, will be talking, etc. I need to get past that quickly. Of course they will know, and they may be talking, but it is unlikely that it will be negative toward me.
I learned from a former co-worker, who now works in a different state, how the people who report to XH found out--through their secretaries. Yes, OW (now Mrs. XH) announced the upcoming wedding at a staff meeting, and the staff went back and told their bosses, all of whom report to XH. Is he proud? Cowardly? Insane? All of the above?
Okay. End of obsessing over people and situations that I cannot control. So far, both S and I have had a challenging first week back in school, but it has to get better, right.
I miss Annie. She was calm. MacGyver is darling, but calm he is not.
End of rambling. I need to finish my syllabus and tentative assignments for my course that starts tonight.
Well, I'm afraid I got a cracked rib from a hug. Damn, it's not like I get too many of those as it is right now.
Thursday or Friday night, S15 was giving me a big hug--he is not too tall but stocky, and he was huggin' hard and all of sudden I heard a pop. Now, I am still really sore under the right boob (such as it is!) and guess I'm going to have to go get an xray.
Is that just not the last straw--getting injured from affection. Is somebody out there in the cosmos trying to tell me something (other than I need a bone density scan).
Okay. Last week work wasn't bad because XH and new Mrs. XH were out on their friggin honeymoon. This week, to be honest, I'm still dreading.
So LIssie, this was very welcome, and thank you:
Originally Posted By: Lissie
Walk in there with your head held up high, b/c you took out the trash and she picked it up.
The people are really saying. He left Peggy For that?
Thanks sweetie...someone actually said as much to me last week. Still, it isn't all that easy. My new T made me promise to at least take a step toward finding a different, equally suitable job. The problem is, there aren't exactly universities on every street corner, especially in central Florida where education isn't high on anybody's list of priorities (sigh). OTOH, who says I have to stay in higher ed forever.
Okay end of rambling. Hope everyone's week is off to to a healthy and happy start.
It's almost time. We need to take a long walk on the beach, followed up by a long relaxed lunch with perhaps a glass or two of wine. Hell.....we could then take another walk on the beach and go back for dinner!
You do know that we have wonderful Universities further south from you right??? I'm sure with your wonderful teching abilities you wouldn't have any problems obtaining the position of your dreams......
AND! I have a house that you would absolutly LOVE!
I'll leave the lights on for you
Tender (hugs)
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
It's almost time. We need to take a long walk on the beach, followed up by a long relaxed lunch with perhaps a glass or two of wine. Hell.....we could then take another walk on the beach and go back for dinner!
You do know that we have wonderful Universities further south from you right??? I'm sure with your wonderful teching abilities you wouldn't have any problems obtaining the position of your dreams......
AND! I have a house that you would absolutly LOVE!
I'll leave the lights on for you
Tender (hugs)
Jeanette
Hey sparkles. I'm glad to hear from you. My month is shaping up funny, what are you doing on the weekend of the 26th?
I've already taught at one of those unis near you--for 4 1/2 years about 15 years ago. I didn't want to leave South Florida, but you-know-who just had to go get a bigger job somewhere else.
I actually had an email recently from someone still on faculty down there that said the current dean "would love to have me back." I love hearing that and I hate moving even more!
Lets see.....what am I doing the weekend of the 26th??? ANYTHING I WANT TO DO! So thats ONE perk of being single.
Hmmm....that email, along with the way you feel about walking into work could me a sign....don't over look it.
Perhaps you could get the Dean as an incentive to get you back on staff......send you professional movers!!!!
I'm doing okie-dokie.....I would post most but theres nothing to post about. Hell, I can only post about that damn sprinkler motor for so long before I'm even sick of it. And no, he still has not managed to obtain one. But it rained hard last night so I'm good to go for a week or so!
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
sparkles, want to go to Savannah? SEe my post on Sunflower's thread. Anyother Southeast Dbers want to go to Savannah??/
Had a weird exchange with Xh. I'm really worried about S's academic performance, woke up in the middle of the night stewing about it. Since I was up, I wrote a longish, calm pensive email to XH, basically saying "you're his dad, so I'm sharing this worry with you." Also, I wanted to set up a neutral pick-up/drop off point for WEdnesday nights, and wanted to confirm some scheduling stuff. XH wrote back a reply that was thoughtful and damn near pleasant. I think he must be ill.
Anyway, my every-other-week lunch partner had to cancel today. It's funny how those planned social events start to become a big deal when things are a little tough; I was really disappointed that she canceled. But we're on for Thursday--a lot has happened since before the holidays so she's in for a big earful.
Okay. Gotta work a little, and monitor S15's study for biology test. GAds I think the way they teach that subject is absurd...all memorizing and hardly any interesting content or analysis. Bleh. Poor teachers, I'm not blaming them, but the text is duller than dirt, and I love almost any book!
Last night was my first time to see XH since his remarriage. I drop S15 off to spend Wednesday nights with his dad while I teach. We dropped off at a conveniently located gas station, and I picked up at a Barnies. No more going to my "old" home for me.
It was uncomfortable, a little. XH actually asked me a question about my classes. Probably the first question he has asked me about me in 3 years. Scary, that. It means he may have actually been listening to me the past several times we talked.
I feel a little numb. This BB is probably the only place that I could ever admit to still sometimes harboring a reconciliation fantasy. Don't ask me why, I really wouldn't want to go there!
Yesterday was busy, busy, busy. I got put on the board of S15's former school...it is a specialty school for kids with reading disabilities. It is my first time to do "community" service of that type and I'm looking forward to it. Anyway, I went to the first board meeting yesterday before my class. The school's founder and director is a real champion and advocate for the kids, but I will tell you he can be long-winded. And that is a statement, coming from me!
I reached that point where the list of things that are broken in the house has reached a tipping point...so now it is time to contact plumber, garage-door guy, etc. etc.
Okay, journaling over. Need to get class prep done before lunch with GF.
Thanks for posting on my thread; I didn't know you were here.
Wow, a wedding - how lovely. And everyone at work knows all about it, even lovlier. ugh.
I went through a stage of worrying about what people would think of me if they saw XH and gf together, but when I shared this with some friends, they asked me what I would think if it were them. Of course, I said I wouldn't be impressed! Well, why would it be different for me? I think we are a lot harder on ourselves than others are, esp when we might (ahem) be comparing ourselves to the new w and finding ourselves falling short (in our own minds, of course).
I hope you have a nice evening.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Nic, thanks for posting, I'm glad you still keep us updated from time to time.
Journaling:
S15 and I had a decent long weekend. One of my Sis47s (they are twins) came to visit. She arrived late Saturday night, so S and I had a less than perfect day finally dealing with the Christmas trees and doing some very past due house cleaning. I am not at my best when I have to do the thinking and planning for two...I still struggle with remembering that noone has actually taught S how to clean a bathroom, etc. So this is an area for me to work on if I expect to him to help effectively. (Hope springs eternal, right?)
Sis was fun to have around. We took two very long walks, watched some movies, had some fun meals and did a little shopping, including getting a joint gift for baby sis whose bday is this week.
Now back to real life. I am a little like a teen myself as far as staying up too late on weekends and then having trouble the first day back into the work week.
Another XH oddity...last week I finally went to get his name off of the checking account that I use. WE always maintained two accounts, with each of us signers on both, but one clearly his to use and one mine. So I figure I might trust him, but definitely not new Mrs. XH, so it was time to get him off the account. The woman at the bank told me he had to sign an affidavit...I said what? I never signed one? She said, well, maybe you are still on his account. And guess what, I was. I don't know why that strikes me as so weird, that he couldn't wait to divorce me, has remarried, and I'm still on his checking account. But it does. I took the affidavit to him and suggested he get a copy for himself, so he is taking care of it. Odd, odd, odd.
Oh well. I am in the slow learner category when it comes to letting go. but I am working on it so no more XH analysis today.
Hope all you survivors enjoyed the weekend. We had not so good weather, but it was warmer than Sis's home, so she was still happy.
So thats ONE perk of being single.