Merry Christmas to you, too, Joe. Nothing wrong with "digital" Christmas cards....quite the green movement actually. Saves paper, ink, stamps -- and provides a venue to use your children's wonderful art.
I guess you got my email?
One of my favorite things about it is having copies for the kids to see when they're older.
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He asked me whose party and I told him. He wants to go.
New family traditions usually require the family to buy into them. Again, the Christmas newsletters where my kids write their own pieces and do the artwork are an old tradition that I won't let die. I don't know what "new traditions" they have at their mother's house. As long as the kids are safe, that's none of my business.
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So, the tornado is still active here in the Land of Oz and it occurred to me today I can't wait to find out how this outcome is somehow all my fault because I'm "mean" to XH.?
Don't sweat it. You know the truth. Let him say all he wants; he'll just make himself less popular.
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Tomorrow, I'm off to Home Depot to either rent or buy a mitre saw. I'd rather not add to my arsenal of power tools but I have a feeling the rent will be more than the purchase.
Think of it as a Christmas present to yourself. I got my print of The Age of Reptiles mounted as a present to myself this year.
Merry Christmas!
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Glenda, Sounds like you have a lot of support as far as your kids are concerned. Don't worry about how this can be blamed on you. Who cares what he thinks/says. You and your family know the truth.
I'm so happy that you have lots of plans for the holidays!!!
So you obviously are making it through and really in your world it is just another day.
Don't give ex another thought. It's not worth you time or energy. Have a wonderful, relaxing massage and a great time at the party. You so deserve to enjoy yourself.
....and remember, I want to hear all of the gorey detail, so report back he at 0 900 (I don't really know military time) and give me the scoop!
Geez, it isn't 0900 but what the heck. I had a GREAT spa time. S22 determined he just wanted to "kick it" (don't ask me I'm not tuned into all the latest slang) but it seemed to mean he didn't want to go to my friend's party either. Still sulking about his dad's e-mail? So, I asked what he wanted to do -- he hadn't even had a chance to answer me when the phone rang. It was my daughter. Way upset. She was not going to dad's alone. Now her brothers aren't going. Her SO promised he would go, then said he couldn't because he had too many dictations to do, but he wasn't doing anything but playing on the computer.
So, S22 and I piled in my car and went to her house to all go out for a burger. We were just pulling up in the driveway when my cell rings again. SO is having an argument with her because "he" is available and she needs to be at home because they have a lot of stuff to do before their trip. Excuse me?
My poor child is in a pickle. I don't know what the root of it is but she has never been able to be without a guy in her life since she was old enough to date. So, she hopped into this relationship really quickly after her D. She was also still reeling from the verbal and some physical abuse from her ex. I feel sometimes like I've totally failed her somehow but I'm just not sure where.
At any rate, at her request S22 and I went without her. We did some shopping for him, which he needed, and then we had dinner and we talked, and talked, and talked. He is normally so quiet I can't get two words out of him.
So, even though I didn't go to my party, I had a good evening. I know my daughter isn't feeling any better but I will spend some time with her tomorrow while SO is at work. And, here I am feeling so bad for my kids and even bad for XH in some ways. I know he also invited all his siblings who are local, cousins I guess, etc., but none of our kids showed up. I wonder if he still believes the statement he made that "nothing will change except mom and I won't be married." Our kids were always at our house for the holiday celebrations, but they don't like what he's done. I doubt any of them have told him that -- even when they tell me. My answer is, hey, tell your dad. I don't see him, I rarely talk to him, e-mail him once in a while, but there is NOTHING I can do about his behavior so it doesn't give you much change of thinking he will hear what you're upset about by telling me. <big sigh>. I'll be glad when 2008 has arrived.
Spent most of today with daughter. I know she and her SO both have a hard time with things sometimes. He is an MD so I guess sometimes he is just more assertive in what he wants.
I guess I could post something about him that portrays him in a more human manner. He is a LBS or pretty much so. He didn't want a divorce but he wasn't about to agree to his now XW's terms for a reconciliation that she get to keep the boyfriend and him. Because daughter's SO is a doctor, there are different "rules" that apply to the divorce. He pays child support and alimony -- even though she has a master's degree and works. He also pays private school tuition, all extracurricular activity fees, buys all their clothes, and spends much of his time making sure they are where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there. This is even though his XW wanted 100% physical custody so he could continue his career as an ER doctor and she would take care of everything? He also pays a nanny so the kids are picked up when he can't, their laundry is done, and their meals are cooked. Through all of this his XW has continual "breakdowns" because of so much stress, etc. WTF?!
So, during the last two years, SO has had a heart attack, stent placement, and has developed diabetes. No, she isn't living with a man who has one foot in the grave due to age -- he's in his early 40s.
And, like most of us, he takes his frustrations, wants, etc., out on the person closest to him so rather than say anything she plays this little game. But, I am worried. She doesn't work outside the home, she doesn't have a college degree, and if something happens to him she will never be able pay the accumulated debt they have because his work shifts have been cut in half to try to give him time to rebuild his health.
So, I thank God I'm healthy. Perhaps my job here on earth is just to be a parent and a friend to my children. I guess in most instances that would be enough, huh?
So, now that I've spent time with daughter today, I'm going to get my booty busy and work on some prep work. Tomorrow, no matter what, the laminate is going down in the dining room.
Happy holidays to all and thank you all so much for listening to me whine. I try my darndest not to whine and/or cry in front of my children. This BB makes that a reality MOST of the time.
There's more to you and your life than being a parent and a friend for your kids. You wouldn't be those things if there weren't some strong beliefs and values inside you.
I hope you have some fun today and tomorrow, laminate notwithstanding. You deserve it.
Merry Christmas,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Well, I survived the holidays without too many tears...
I have now added a mitre saw to my Ryobi collection and I'm working on more laminate flooring while I also do double duty checking on daughter's house because of suspicious footprints all around the house in the fresh snow. Of course, a lot of their neighbors are out of town, too, so mom's security service is on-call.
Otherwise, not much going on. Getting lots of extra sleep and I needed it.
Man do I wish that you lived closer! I'm planning on having some hardwood put in and man it sure would make it cheaper if I knew how to do that stuff. How did you ever learn? Did you take classes?
I'm glad you survived. If in cas next year you don't would you leave me the tools? Just in case I take a class( yeah like that's gonna happen!).
Beth, my kids keep telling me I'm "turning into a guy." Classes? Directions? What are those? I'm not sure about hardwood. Laminate is a lot thinner and it's actually pretty idiot proof. No glue. No nails. You just cut off the length you need and "click" it together. Each box comes with instructions BUT as an amateur my problem has been getting enough to allow for the 10% "waste." I think that is based on an expert doing the install.
Sometimes having no choice is the best teacher of all. But, it is the time involved. Had I had money to pay for it -- it would have been finished months ago.
New family traditions usually require the family to buy into them. Again, the Christmas newsletters where my kids write their own pieces and do the artwork are an old tradition that I won't let die. I don't know what "new traditions" they have at their mother's house. As long as the kids are safe, that's none of my business.
I'm not sure about hardwood. Laminate is a lot thinner and it's actually pretty idiot proof. No glue. No nails. You just cut off the length you need and "click" it together. Each box comes with instructions BUT as an amateur my problem has been getting enough to allow for the 10% "waste." I think that is based on an expert doing the install.