Where have you been? I was so worried. I thought that since you usually write from work, that you either got fired or were actually doing something!
Yes, that e-mail was harsh and serving someone on Christmas eve is heartless. I've gotta' tell you though in reading her e-mail, although she was right to the point, she seems like a very angry woman not unlike so many other spouses. It's as if she's treating you like you did this to her.
So let them serve you and it will be over with. Just a piece of paper. For all intent and purpose you have been physically divorced for a longtime. How will this change anything. These are all of the things I told myself over and over again and I gotta' tell you, I gave myself some great advice. Reminding myself of the reality got me through.........
wow. I'm sorry, tom. My thoughts are that they are so self-involved they want their own lives wrapped up, my h included, so they don't care what kind of heartache they leave behind in the process.
wonder what happens if you don't respond? seriously...I have no idea, I don't know the divorce process. she says you have 3 weeks...well, what happens then? (not making a suggestion, really just curious).
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
so what does that mean, uncontested? I know I sound like an idiot...what does that mean? how does that divide things up? does that mean the person who filed gets everything?
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Thanks for the support!. It's nice to have someplace to go where folks understand what your going through.
WT... It's a weight off my shoulder that the process has started. I figured I had to take care of this sooner or later. I really do want to get on with my life. I'm the type who will roll up their sleeves and get the job done when I have to but sometimes, it takes a shove or push to get me started. This is my shove I guess.
Sally.. You know, I've wonder what happens if I don't respond in 3 weeks either, but I guess that will be something my Lawyer will have to deal with. I know you can always delay, delay, and delay some more when it comes to legal matters, so I'm not worried that much about time constraints. The first thing my Lawyer told me is not to panic, there's time to work out a suitable agreement.
Beth... LOL, I've been pulled in about 3 different directions in the last couple of weeks. At work, and when I'm off. I have not had as much time lately to update and check everyone's status. I have really been getting a life here lately whether I tried to or not... lol! I'd die for some quit time at home by myself!
She is very angry, you are right. We have been separated for two years this Christmas. How long do they hold on to this anger? I can't still be the source of it after 2 years, can I? Plus the fact she has prince charming waiting in the wings depending on what the parole board decides.. LOL! She should be happy, but she is even more miserable. I actually feel sorry for her at times believe it or not.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Personally I think that most of them can not even work through the anger until after the divorce and that's only because they finally realize that just maybe we weren't the root cause. My Therapist said this very thing to me way before I was divorced. She said that he was unhappy at home, he was unhappy on his own, but all the while he could tell himself that because I was still holding him down by being married, that once he was divorced, all would be well in his world. It's not until they realize that there life is no different or happier, and in some cases worse. Then I think they may even (or in some cases at least) start to look at things differently.
About the time frame to respond. Initially you do only have so long and fig is right, if you don't respond you are in essence saying that I have agreed to whatever they demand. But you're right Tom, it can be dragged out indefinitely if that's what someone would want.
Tom, if you are already represented, your lawyer can accept service for you; there is no reason to have you personally served. And if she has counsel, and they have been made aware that you have a lawyer, it would be completely inappropriate for them to cause you to be served personally when there's a lawyer to accept service on your behalf.
And yes, failure to answer within the time prescribed by law would result in your being in default, and would essentially constitute your admission of all her claims and your acceptance of her prayers for relief. But 21 days sounds like an arbitrary time frame under any statutory scheme; again, your counsel will know the time required for answering, and I assume he will also assert a counterclaim on your behalf.
Sorry for this, under any circumstances, but especially now.
