Ah thanks, Pam, Carrie, Bethie and SD. You all are so right. I guess as glad as I am to not be a part of X's life right now, I do still want happiness for him b/c if nothing else it trickles down to my kids. My kids deserve the best.
I am feeling a little anxious today and I'm not sure why. I don't think it's due to anything associated w/ X (D6 asked me this morning if I'll ever get remarried and then said her dad is thinking about marrying OW. No surprise there. Then when I took D6 to school, I was sitting in my sister's room and saw X walk by w/ a coffee for OW - she was on recess duty). It might be b/c I am getting busy with work and want to make sure that I am covering everyone and doing a good job with everyone. My 'employer' called already this morning to give me a message to call Joe Lawyer that left a message for me, probably about one of the clients I supervise and then said he wanted to advise me to get malpractice ins as that is SOP in my new line of work. I think this might be causing my unease... that I have to call a L. Isn't that crazy? I need to make good friends w/ a L so I stop feeling so anxious every time I get a call/letter from one.
So, Sd... thanks for saying I inspire you. That means a lot. I am just trying to be true to who I am. And I feel GOOD when I am good to my kids and even strangers. I need that, it's like a drug for me. So it isn't entirely selfless.
Carrie... thank you for stopping by. So glad to hear your family is doing the RAK... it's good for kids. When I came downstairs this morning, D6 was in her room cleaning up and when she heard me, she turned off her light and jumped back in bed. This is where I see it come back to me. Jingle and Jangle have been bringing some fun little treats- lip gloss, notebooks, bubble bath - and there are even more to come!
Pam - you are so right that we are responsible for our own happiness and I need that reminder. This 'journey' has shown me that I am responsible for my happiness and I never really got that before. So I am going to keep making it all about me. Have a great day!
Bethie... you are right, I owe it to my kids to be happy. ANd that is why I want X to be happy too... it will trickle down. You see that. But I can only control me and I need to not worry about him. Heck, OW's lease is up this month so I'm sure she'll be moving in soon so he will get happier.
I need some Christmas cheer. I am such an idiot. Somehow today I 'misplaced' my credit cards and a gift card w/ my grocery and gas money for the month (let's just say it was A LOT of money). Well, I just called one of the cards and it's already been used. So I am just sick. I was sooo hoping I'd find it in my house.
So... I'm hoping to find a better mood tomorrow to continue the holiday cheer.
Thanks everyone. I feel blah today. I know that this is all due to my carelessness (and trusting nature), but it really gets me down that people would take advantage of others. The credit cards are canceled. And the grocery store is researching the last transaction I made to see if they can come up with the gift card number to be able to cancel it. But, who knows...
I guess we just keep our fingers crossed.
Kids are doing great. When D6 heard I lost my cards, she told me not to get them replaced b/c I might just get new ones for Christmas. ( ) Then she 'whispered' to my sister that she wants to give them to me secretly and sign 'from you know who'. ( ) I am raising GREAT kids.
Another positive. I talked to X last night and he told me about a court appearance today that I didn't realize we had to be present for. So that saved me some face.
Good things are out there. I'm just looking a little deeper to find them.
) Then she 'whispered' to my sister that she wants to give them to me secretly and sign 'from you know who'. (