Ok point taken. What if you were in a committed relationship and after a period of time your live in came to you and said that she wanted to make it legal? So you love her and are committed, now what do you do?
What if you were in a committed relationship and after a period of time your live in came to you and said that she wanted to make it legal? So you love her and are committed, now what do you do?
If she really loved me, she would not force that on me. If she left me because I wouldn't sign a State notarized piece of paper proving my love, then we probably were not meant to be anyway.
You know, marriage was not always a staple of civilized society regardless of what we have been taught. There were many successful civilizations throughout history where the concept of M would have been foreign.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Ok, so why would it be so cut and dried. Maybe she loves you so much that she would want you to be her husband. What about give and take and compromise? What if her need to make it legal was as strong as yours to not go down that road? Would their be a dialogue?
its not just the legality, its the sacredness with which I view marriage.
it didn't keep my h from leaving me, but it sure kept me from leaving him when I felt that ebb. and yes, I did feel it once or twice...I believe every relationship has ebbs and flows that are natural to it. I think having something so casual makes it much easier to just leave, to abandon, when things get hard. instead of working thru things and coming out the other side. marriage doesn't always make people work, but I'd bet that more people would just walk away without it.
and I don't think that's a woman or man thing. obviously the woman you are involved with is fine with how you think, and probably even like minded. and I think that is great for you guys. I think that is really wonderful that you both have been so upfront and honest about it. hopefully, should you guys continue in your relationship, the scenerio beth suggested won't even be an issue.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Maybe I'm jaded Sally, I don't know. We never even discussed divorce in my Catholic School religion classes. It was one of those taboos. In retrospect, it was an injustice to not even touch on the subject. They gave us rose colored glasses when they discussed Marriage in terms of the "sacred" bond. Kind of like how they give you 3d glasses when you go to see a 3d movie. Have you ever watched a 3d movie without the glasses? Pretty distorted, isn't it?
I'm not going to rely on what marriage is suppose to represent anymore, I'm going to learn what it takes to make a relationship last and that's what I'm going to practice.
I probably became to complacent thinking that the legality or moral commitment of my marriages would save it against any issue that would come up.
I've learned much since the days of Religion class. I probably would have been better served to take more human psychology courses.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
well, divorce is never going to be a big subject in catholic school religion classes. lord knows it wasn't in mine. marriage wasn't a big subject, either, come to think of it. fresh year was scripture, soph was morality, jr was catholic doctrine, and senior year, hmmm, can't quite remember what class that was now. I suppose considering it was 20 plus years ago, I'm doing good remembering the rest! lol. and honestly I think focusing on marriage as a commitment, as a sacrament, is more in keeping with the catholic faith rather than tackling divorce.
its very easy to become complacent, but I think it would be easy in the scenerio you are suggesting, too, its just a different kind of complacency.
I think the best we can all do is know what we want for our own futures, and find a way to go about making those futures a reality...we need to be true to ourselves. if that means a relationship with no legal ties, well, that's great. I really do mean that.
I think its interesting, actually, that so many people I know have fought for the right to be married at all (gay/lesbian friends), while so many hetero couples are bailing on the idea of marriage.
but I guess it comes down to what feels right for each individual, for each couple. again, it comes down to figuring out what feels right to you, and what feels right to me, and each of us pursuing that path.
me, I'm a complete pollyana. I am. I believe in happily ever after. I'd sing with the damn birds in central park like giselle in enchanted if given a chance. lol. its just who I am. I'm a forever kind of girl. I just hope the next guy doesn't turn into such a frog.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
My OW lives in a State next to me. I didn't choose for it to be that way, it just happened. She lives 168 miles away. I'm going to visit her next week.
Her very young friend and co-worker invited her and I to a dress up disco party. Oh joy!!! I guess the disco era is kind of a popular party ideal with some of the younger people in her area. It is a pretty boring place actually. I hope the youngsters don't ask me how it really was back then... lol!
Time to pull out the silk shirt....
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive......
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
