So what's the worst thing that can happen? Are you afraid of getting hurt or hurting her? This is obviously different then your casual dating previously. Why not take a leap of faith and see where it goes?
I want to take a leap, it's been a long time and I never thought I'd be facing this so soon. I am afraid of hurting her or myself and that's why I'm hesitant.
On the other hand, I'm tired of being so damn cautious in this area of my life.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Did you ever think of letting her in on how you feel. Maybe it wouldn't hurt and at the sametime you would get some feedback on how she sees it. Communication remember??? That's the thing we forgot to do in our marriages!
I agree, communication, communication, communication!
hell, I realized even in divorce our communication stinks. I'm trying to change that, but h isn't, so guessing its just how our relationship will be from beginning to end. thankfully the kid-stuff we do well.
but yeah, I'd talk to her about your concerns, etc.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
The strange part is I really think we are on the same page without saying anything. I think this connection we are feeling is awkward for both of us, so we try not to talk about it and just enjoy each other's company.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
You can't "think it" we thought a lot of things in our marriage. The only way you ever really know where someone is is by talking it threw. I would bet that was a big mistake with your wife. I know it was mine, with my husband of course, not your wife!
November has come and gone, but there is still no decision on OM's parole. At least there is no indication on the Offender web site. I don't know if that bodes well for him or not. I'll just keep checking the site. It will eventually post a decision and the release date is usually a month or two after the final decision, so there will be time to prepare myself and S7.
STBX has received wind of the budding relationship I'm in. Not surprising news travels fast in our circle of friends and family. She sent me an email last night requesting I talk to her before any possible introduction of OW to our S7. I told her I didn't have any immediate plans to introduce her to him, but that I would respect her request and let her know if/when I'm going to.
OW has already introduced me to her daughter. We are kind of approaching it in a manner that is slow but steady. Kind of like wadding into a pool from the shallow end and slowly working our way into the deep end. Our encounter was only an hour long (lunch), but I sensed her daughter was comfortable around me. She already knew about me from a picture she saw of me that her Mom's had. She inquired about me and I guess that's when her Mom filled her in on all the details and felt the need to introduce me to her. We are going to approach this with honesty and tactfulness. I'm really still kind of timid in this relationship, but it's been ongoing for two months now. I've been dating many Woman over the past 6/7 months, but never just one that I've paid this much attention to and for this length of time. It's unavoidable and unfortunate for me that any of my relationships with OW beyond a week or two in length will be discovered. I have to many Sisters and they all have the gift of gab if you know what I mean. It inevitably gets back to stbx.
Anyway, I'm stuck here at work all day. Guess that's not so bad since a huge snow/rain/ice storm is slowly approaching. I'd be indoors anyway.
Hope everyone is having a good day!
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
It's all good! You're going about this in the right way for all concerned so don't overthink this.
I know that you're hesitant, as you should be considering, but life does go on. There comes a point when we all have to get back out there and take a chance. It sounds like you have dated, and you know the difference between this relationship, and the fact the with the others there were no sparks. Good for you. You weren't needy and you didn't settle. I think that that says a whole about where you are! Ex shouldn't even come into the equasion. That books been written!
As far as OM goes, I hope for your son's sake, his parole is a longtime away. Personally that would be very scary to me to have to worry about my child and OM under the same roof. The fact that your ex doesn't get that, goes to show just how messed up she really is.
Have you figured out anymore about what your plans will be for Christmas? Put your energy there. It will be here before you know it!
How you doing today? My stbx won't even acknowledge her relationship with the OM let alone "get" it. She's ashamed/embarrassed of her love for him. She's very secretive about him to her Family and friends, but she knows better than to try and fool me. I think she's waiting on the decision of the parole board and then will have no choice but to come clean with her family and friends if he does get released. I can see the stress in her face when I mention his name. She knows she won't have the control with him she had in the past. She's actually going to have to face her decision. Can you imagine me asking her the same question she asked me... to discuss OW with her before S7's introduction. She would get mad and start spewing if I brought up the OM and introducing him to S7. That will change quickly if/when he gets out. Your right, she is messed up.
Hey, you know how they have that series.. "Girls gone wild"? Well, I was thinking about taking that into new territory. How about.... "WAW's/WAH's gone wild"? Would you watch it? We could probably write scripts for the show..... LOL!
I'm really looking forward to this Christmas. I don't have that stress of all this crap I had last Christmas or the Christmas before. I was going to go to FL to visit my Mom for Christmas and New Years, but I changed my mind. I'm going to stick around and spend some time with my Boys since I can't take them with me. I have them tonight and all day Sunday and will be dropping them off at School Monday morning. We are going to cut down our tree tomorrow and they are going to help me decorate it. I just had this crappy little Charlie Brown tree last Christmas, so I'm getting a bigger and better one this year. I'm getting into the Spirit this year. It really makes a difference when you don't have all that unsettled crap on your mind.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
