So... send me your strength and selflessness. I can use a bundle.
Oh mamma, you are not seflish
you are one of those great ones, the ones that want to make everything ok, for everybody else, and sometimes, you have to know you have to do for you.
And IT IS OK to do for you.
A prayer for you sister
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, your beloved Son, we offer you, our beloved brothers… for your mercy. You love them and care for them as the apple of your eye. Lord Jesus, these beloved brothers are addicted to liquor/drugs, Lord have mercy on them. They destroy peace in the family as well as in the society. Forgive them Lord; strengthen them with the power and strength of your Holy Spirit. May the power of your divine word penetrate into their souls and bodies.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
I'm so sorry for your sister and for what your family is going through. Addiction is a terrible thing and even after people come through, the hold is always there. As far as the intervention goes, that is probably her only hope. I just hope that she will be open to it, especially for her child.
Don't ever feel selfish or guilty for wanting to have the luxury of concentrating on your life. They always say that you have to save yourself before you can be of any good to anyone else and I totally believe that. It must be so hard for you right now to be torn in so many directions. If you need some space from it all take it. Nobody could ever think badly of you. It's just so hard for a pleaser to put themselves first, but you can do it!
I had to come back, Jill. You and my nephew are the only ones to call me Jooooolie and I miss it. Glad you're around. Been missing the Jill-Bethie show.
Quote:
How are the rugrats, anyway?
They are doing really well. Last night they were 'all jacked up on' Halloween candy so that was tough. But they are just doing so well. Been having the Divorce convo w/ D6 pretty regularly lately and damn, I'm getting good at it. She's doing well, but I still spend as much time as I can at her school b/c she is being affected by all of this and I want her to know how loved she is.
I'm just so lucky. I LOVE TODAY AND I LOVE MY GIRLS MORE THAN ANYTHING. I try to tell them everyday that I'll always love them. Ok, enough gushing about my babies.
Thanks for weighing in, also. My sister is a mess. So when the drug dealer's girlfriend came by this morning and paid her off, my sis is mouthing off to my mom for paying her because "they are liars and cheats" (hello, pot)... and then she was mad b/c this drug dealer had ripped her off before so she wasn't going to pay him back and she knew someone who could get 'fake stuff' to replace what she owed him with. Are you kidding me? Who writes this sh!t? And she is living w/ my parents' and using her D3 as a human shield. Idiot.
I seriously have to laugh about this b/c it does bring to mind how great my life is. And I did tell my mom today that I am resentful of my sister throwing all this drama into the family b/c I am not finished being the drama queen and I want to have a corner on that market in my family (tongue in cheek, but also a little honest).
Quote:
Don't ever feel selfish or guilty for wanting to have the luxury of concentrating on your life
Thanks, honey. I need to just keep hearing this stuff. Yesterday at the C session, I told my C that I feel like a big jerk (also guilty) b/c I am so happy with where my life is going and all and I feel bad that this isn't the best path for my kids. So I feel guilty that my happiness is coming at the expense of theirs. Of course, the C didn't buy into this thinking, but hey, I'm who I am.
Boy, I am a blabbermouth today. I really need to be cleaning my house and raking my leaves, but I am procrastinating.
You are not wrong for wanting to take care of yourself. In fact, your first responsibility is to you, and your second responsibility is to your daughters. Unless you take care of your first responsibility, you can't take care of your second. Everything else is gravy.
How can you give of yourself to others if you're already depleted? It's okay to stay out of this fight. It's not even yours to have.
Love yourself first, then share that love with your beautiful girls. Love your sister too...but understand she is in charge of her actions. There's nothing you can do to change her...it's HER work. Maybe telling her what I told one of my "trouble" boys a couple of weeks ago would help...I told him that there was nothing on earth that could shake my love or support for him, but that his behavior was unacceptable because it lacked respect for me or for himself. I love this boy dearly...but he knows my line in the sand. I think that may be the best thing y'all could do for sis.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Don't feel guilty about being happy. If your happy it will trickle down to the girls and you all will be happy. They see mom happy and walla! Glad you are doing well
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Hey, Julie, there's nothing bad about your life going well when someone else is reaping the rewards of their choices. Your sister has serious problems, but all the help (counseling, 12 Step programs) in the world will will be for naught if she isn't ready and able to accept it. We can pray for her and her D3. It's not your job to make her accept the other kinds of help.
Maybe if you can continue making your life the best you can for yourself and your girls, your sister might see that someday and decide it's time to take the help that's offered to her. That's a good sight better than wearing yourself out over what you cannot control, isn't it? And as an additional perk, you get to feel good in the process.
Here, have a morning beer on me!
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
Glad you are doing well