h returned home but spooked first night?

[Sara]

Chicki,

I am a realtor in Tampa, but I didn't call anyone about your mortgage.

Since you have the papers today, and might not have access to them another day, you could take them to Kinkos and copy them. That way you'll have them, but won't need to file them today.

Tell him how you feel about this when he comes home. As you know, you can't control him. But perhaps he will control himself. I do believe people deserve second chances.

Have you looked into Retrouvaille? You can't even imagine how one weekend can change your marriage! Why suffer when it can be fixed with a little help from other people?

[chicki]

I would love to go to R but my H will not even think about it right now.Plus our $ situation we cant afford it now. I already have a copy of the papers, but to file I need the originals.

When I asked H when he was returning he just said monday night, so since he's been vague about the time all I can think is hes prolly not coming straight home the first night. OW was always good at convincing him of this. She prolly had him leave his car at her place so that he would have no choice but be pickd up by her.
He called last night but made it obvious he didnt want to talk to me. I know he is avoiding any R talk. He asked straight out to talk to the girls, not even a how are you doing?He asked the girls what did yuou guys do while daddy's been away? We went to a girls Bday party,but it was w/ spanish people, so its really for the adults. There was more adults than kids & lots of good spanish food. D10 told H about the party & he asked all kinds of questions, who was there, where was is at & if my mom was there,since it was people from church.

You see H is very jealous & shows how he stills cares and says so only when the possiblity of another man is in the winds??
I think he doesnt want me anymore but doesnt want anyone else to be w/me either..UGH!

I feel like I am grasping here at what has been lost.When I tectexed him as to avoiding her calls allhe wrote back was- easy for you to say. So, he is struggling & seems to be sure he still wants her.

[chicki]

JOURNALING:

When H left back in May of this year I had done some redecorating changes. I had taken down pictures of us from the wall. Well in hopes to start a new this weekend I took them out of the closet but had not yet put them back on the wall. Then last night D6 broke the covering glass. Is this a sign? I saw is as it telling me the state our M is now- broken..... silly? dont know anymore.......

I didnt empty out my drawers on friday night so H couldnt put all his clothes in. I am wondering if I shuld even empty them now. A part of me wants "help" him by empty them and putting his clothes back in, which will only stall him a little if he comes home while I am not there to pick up his stuff to move back out.

I need to get out this funk.....

I need to think positive.....hoping h will think on that I texted him this weekend. Which was ALOT. I think I may have used up his text minutes..oh well.

God help get thru tonight, especially if he does not return & goes elsewhere.

[chicki]

I just texted h this:

If you decided to go back to her, there will not be a 3rd chance.I will use the $ I had for the house for the D. I told the girls you were likely to move back to her. They were sad. I wanted you to stay thru the holidays,but I will no longer hold you. You win.

I know H will not text back. But at least this lets him know whre I stand & I will not be a doormat for him to move in & out as he pleases. The girls were so excited on friday...upon his short lived return.

[Heartbroken]

Be careful not to push him out - let him make the choice to leave. I totally agree with NOT being the doormat - but sometimes (or a lot of times) these WAS's push our buttons so that we do push them out - make them leave...That way they can throw it back on us.

Detach a little more today - I know it's hard but he sounds so confused and you need to be the strong one (AGAIN - I know...)...

HB

[chicki]

I know,the first time I did tell him to leave. I have mixed feelings on that since he really didnt want to move out but the cake eating was killing me and he was gone at her place everyweekend. H has never thrown it back to me though.

I will leave him alone. I didnt call him or text after he talked to the girls last night and Im sure he thought I would.

[runningoutoftime]

>>They were sad. I wanted you to stay thru the holidays,but I will no longer hold you. You win. <<

He wins? Sounds more like OW wins. When you give up there is no where for him to go, but to her. He probably knows that.