chicki's drama 4 h moved back, but for THIS?

[chicki]

I have laid out the book his & her needs & asked him to read months ago, but still hasnt. H is really not into reading anything. I told him about the greif he will endure if he were to leave her but I was goign to be there holding his hand thru it all. He is not at that point , far from it.

I dont know what it is these OW have that blind our men?

[Not Much Left]

Well, it certainly isnt sex, is it Chicki?

So why dont you give it some thought. Really, what is it about her that does blind him. I dont think you have ever really posted that have you?

CVA

[chicki]

Hmmmmm...lets see

I dont know OW. Just that they met at work years ago. She is a single mother of D11 and going to school to be a lawyer(yeah, right DL anyone?). She is ten years younger than H & I, but my girls say she looks older w/ more wrinkles than I,but hey Ive got a baby face. Supposedly her D' dad is a deadbeat.

They started as an EA. So they built a freindship (one big advantage since H & I use to argue too much, before I made my changes & before DB).

Yet , I am not sure about the sex you mentioned? This b/c he only got the courage to ask what he wanted from me sexually after she came along, so it tells me she is giving him what he wanted all along.

She seems insecure whenever H comes for his regular visits b/c she bolws his phone up if he is a minute late. D10 witnessed their phone convo one time where H was arguing about how she times him.

So I know they have a good freindship. Could it be they dont have the passion, that we have?

[chicki]

Journaling/ OW pros & cons:

H use to complain that she talked his ear off especially when he wanted to sit and just watch tv. Also that she was full of energy & wanted to go out all the time. H complained he is getting too old for that & not enough $ for it.

Last week he admitted their R was not what he thought it was going to be.

Also, he still cant get along w/ her daughter.

So, CVA...what do you think????

My H is a very insecure man & if she is too, well I am sure that R is doomed.

[Not Much Left]

Chicki

OK, contrast that with you.

Are u high or low energy?
Do you talk a lot or have you left him alone when he wanted time to unwind?

Whatever, what was it that you think drew him to her?

C

[chicki]

He says he started getting closer (talking) when we were on a downhill spiral last year & I stopped communicating w/him for about a month.

H & I are very alike in the energy part. We both go thru stages of wanting sometimes to go out or not. BUT H had prefered to go out w/ his guy freinds than me. H said what first attracted him to her was her interest in sports. She grew up a tomboy, but she wears skirts and heels all the time. So liked how they can watch sports & she understood it & got emoitionally into it (like one of the guys, as he put it). CVA, how can I compete with that??

According to my girls she wears no makeup & her hair is always in a ponytail.I have not seen what she looks like,yet she sounds gorgeous. She is my opposite physically (totally).

I dont converse too much. I have always been that way. H is also a introvert but only in that sense. At the start of my DBng I gave him TONS of space. Sop much that I told him I was giving him the space & he said he didnt want that!HE complained I would hide in our room when all he wanted was me to sit and watch tv w/ him.

This is good, CVA.

I feel like I am talking to a therapist.

I dont have one, can you be mine??HE he

[Not Much Left]

Yeah, that would be wise on your part. Taking advice from someone who has been S'd 4 times.

So what are you saying, on one hand you say she is gorgeous then you say you are 180 from her physically? Open ended question w/ no motive on my part, just dont understand what you are saying.

What it sounds like you are saying is she is very open, likes sports, but can act like a girl when she wants to (heels etc). Yep, hard to compete w/ that! BUT, there must be a reason he married you to start with, What were those reasons?

[chicki]

I guess I have all the hispanic looks, including the shortness. She is tall, according to the girls she is almost as tall as H, & he is 5'11. According to the girls she isnt totally skinny , her stomach is like mine & her long legs(H loves long legs) are thicker.I am barely 5 feet!! I am a mix of hispanic & Filipino.
I here so much that most A down, physically???

We got prego before M. BUT I never pushed M unto him. I told him I would do fine as a single mom (we broke up while I was prego). Then we got back and we both came to the descion to make it formal. H even cried at the M ceremony.


_______________
M-37
H-37
Married soon to be 10yrs
3Ds, 6,7, &10yrs
D bomb 8/06
found out OW bomb 9/06
seperated 5/07

[Not Much Left]

Ok
Here we go "miss I dont want to get into" it...WHAT IT IS ABOUT YOU OTHER THAN PHYSICAL THAT YOUR H MARRIED YOU FOR?

[chicki]

I dont know. I know he liked my independence.

You think if it ws only b/c our daughter that we woldnt have lasted 10yrs??

I am going to have to really think on this, since H was oen to never be expressive or complimentary. So I am at lost as to what he found attractive about me?



_____________
M-37
H-37
Married soon to be 10yrs
3Ds 6,7, &10yrs
D bomb 8/06
found out OW bomb 9/06
seperated 5/07