Good luck, Phoenix. I had the R talk with my H, and it seems he has no problem separating. I shouldn't have been surprised. Hope it turns out better for you.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Didn't have the R talk yet, still getting my thoughts together. For some reason I have the panic feeling going on today. Perhaps I need to lay out a little more what I'm looking for in our M. I have to remember it needs to be baby steps and not go full tilt.
The position with your H is unfortunate, without more details I'm not sure what to say on that issue. Sounds like he is at a very frustrated point in his life and just wants to bag what he can't control, then move on from there. Unfortunately, that doesn't work as we know here. Hopefully, he will learn that before he let's things deteriorate too far.
Had to step up last night and call W on something she seem to be fusing over. She did understand that I was just sitting there filling time, waiting for her, not trying to take over what she was doing. She really loves the martyr thing, but too often doesn't see the whole picture. Anyhow, after I explained things to her, we sat and did fine.
Some days she seems to be getting back into her old cycle, but I'm not going to take ownership of her issues, but I'm going to find out what I am doing wrong and address it.
That sounds really positive, Phoenix! Definitely a step in the right direction.
Quote:
I'm not going to take ownership of her issues
This is definitely something we should all be working on, not only in our M's, but also in all our R's.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
glad you had a decent talk with her. My H and I are still going on a snails' pace, but I'm glad our convos dont degenerate and both of us are able to control our tempers before they flare.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Last night I noticed that W and I had a discussion, during which she looked me straight in the eyes. This is a definite improvement from the old days where she would avoid eye contact (out of guilt), wouldn't talk to me unless she needed something...you guys know the drill. It was such a rush to notice that.
My challenge right now is to have the nerve to move things in a better direction, I am always afraid of spooking her. But then again I get to a point where I just have to do it, so I just go for it.
