Thanks for the reply Joe. Yes, I get all my components from surplus or discontinued stock via the internet, computer shopper, local 3 RD party merchants, etc. I try to buy my system boards in balk, but everything else (drives, CPUs, cases, power supplies, etc) I'll buy at the best price I can find. If you can get familiar with all the various quirks of a particular system board and what peripherals work, don't work well with them, the rest fits into place fairly easy. It is a relaxing hobby for me when the weather sucks outside.
I've also been looking at starting another hobby inspired by my oldest S14. He's always liked airplanes and he's asked me to buy him a radio controlled model airplane to put together. They are those balsa wood planes with the fuel props you buy in kits. It's not an inexpensive hobby. The model he's looking at is about $200.00 and that's one of the cheaper ones. I justify it to myself by saying it's for his happiness, but I'm just a big kid myself when it comes to that stuff so I'll enjoy doing it with him. Just hope I don't crash the darn thing. I'm sure I can build it, flying it is probably a different thing entirely.
Last edited by Astimegoeson; 09/12/0704:55 AM.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
ATGO, My stepdad used to build those and he loved it!!! They actually had a club that he belonged to where they would fly them. How convenient that a bonding experience with your son is something that you're interested in too.
Well, I bought the airplane kit Saturday. We've just looked over the instructions, but have not started to build it. Looks like it would be just as much fun to build as fly. You know qoe, I have heard about those clubs. There are several around me where they go fly. They also have model airplane shows in the summer where they display models and compete in flying competitions. I really didn't realize how popular it was.
Anyway, on the stbx front, I messed up big time Friday night. STBX jumped down my throat for dropping off S7 45 minutes late. I did call and let her know I was running late, but it didn't keep her from spewing her venom over the phone at me. I would rather not go over her put downs and criticism of me. It's not like she had to be somewhere, she was staying home that night. Anyway, I lost my temper, and angrily yelled... "STF up you wicked witch, I'm on my way", then I hung up on her. My S7 overheard me and that's what bothers me the most. I totally lost control.
Man, I don't know what got into me. She spews on rear occasions and for the most part, I bite my tongue but I just couldn't this time. I could feel the anger boil inside me. I thought who the fuk is she to think I'm going to take her crap. She just pushed the wrong buttons. I'm not sure what the hell her issue was or why she made such a big deal out of it. Maybe Bubba was keeping her OM occupied in his jail cell and he couldn't break loose to call her. I don't know, but I'm kind of feeling mad at myself for the way I reacted in front of my S7. I spoke to him since and tried to smooth it over. I told him his Mommy wasn't evil and that Daddy was just upset. Of course, I was lying to him that his Mom wasn't evil, but he doesn't need to know that.
I've been real reserved when I talk to her lately. It's just all business with me lately. She's just so insincere and shallow that I don't really want to waste my time talking small talk with her anymore. She tries to keep me on the phone at times for that and I usually cut her off saying I'm busy or have to go. I think this is making her angry for some reason.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I'm at work here late and bored. Since it's close to Halloween, I wanted to share something with you all. I noticed a book one of my co-workers was reading regarding the Civil War. It reminded me of an experience I had when I was in my mid 20's that I don't tell others about to often. If you believe in Ghost, please read on, if not, I understand. This is a true experience of mine that to this day is as clear in my conscience as the day it happened.
I lived in NJ for about 6 years during and just right after my Navy Service. Lakehurst NJ, was my last duty station. For you history buffs, it's the base where the Hindenburg crashed on it's madden voyage to the US. I worked in hanger 1 where they were going to store the blimp, but instead used it for a makeshift morgue. That's a whole other creepy story in it's own right, but I'm not going to get into that now. My story takes place in a town called Waretown, NJ. It's about an hour North of Atlantic City.
I was doing some restoration work on some old houses for some extra cash. I was asked to tear out and replace some old hard wood flooring in an old Civil War era home. It was a large home with high ceilings and a Victorian style look to it. It was situated on about 10 acres of wooded land. Most of the interior was still the original design from the mid 1800's. Very beautiful home that needed lots of work. It also had a large barn in the back yard that was also built around the same time as the house. Large sturdy timbers. Still very functional, but the roof leaked a little. We kept all our building material and tools in this barn while we were restoring this house.
One day, I was working in the house by myself. My boss had to take his Son to a baseball game. I was nailing down flooring when I ran out of nails. I went out to the barn to get a box and as soon as I opened the door, I froze in shear astonishment. In the barn there were about 15 Men (ghost) dressed in rebel civil war uniforms complete with rifles by their side. It looked so surreal. They looked as though they were resting and/or hiding from something. Some were heavily bandaged. One guy had a clothe wrapped around his eye and was bleeding profusely from it. Some were moaning in pain while others were trying to sleep. I was froze in time and could not move or breath it seemed. I was in awe at what I was looking at. They did not look at me or even acknowledge I was there. It seemed as if they did not know I was there, but I sure knew they were there. It is a very hard story to describe in some respects because it seems as though time stood still and I was in a different dimension. A vacuum of sorts. After a duration of time which I could not measure, they simply disappeared and i felt my breath and movement come back to me. I quickly grabbed the box of nails and ran out of that barn.
My boss told of seeing a woman in a long gown and sleeping cap carring what appeared to be a candle lamp down the hallway on several occasions. He told me this story before my experience, but I didn't pay much attention to him. He was a drinker and a joker and I didn't take him seriously. He use to stay there late from time to time to work on the plumbing or electrical in the house. He was the first I told that story to and didn't tell anyone else for a very long time. It took me some time to process the experience. It was a out of body and dimension experience for me that I've never felt before or since.
The New Jersey historical preservation society bought the house and surrounding land about 10 years ago. I heard the barn caught on fire and burnt to the ground, so it is no longer there.
Anyway, I wanted to share that with anyone who might be interested in that type of phenomena. I've always believed in the after life, but never believed it could manifest itself for our own eyes to see. I do now!
Last edited by Astimegoeson; 09/18/0706:44 AM.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I spoke to him since and tried to smooth it over. I told him his Mommy wasn't evil and that Daddy was just upset.
I remember something along those lines in the early days after my ex-wife moved out. I muttered under my breath about something that she did, and my oldest son heard it.
Later I sought him out and apologized, telling him that I felt I should show more respect toward his mother. He asked about her showing respect toward me. I explained that by apologizing and working to do better, I could have more respect for myself.
He's never said anything to me about that. I hope it did show him that I can make a mistake and be man enough 1) to admit it and 2) to do better.
You showed your son an important lesson in the real world. It'll mean a lot more from your example than it ever could from anything he'll read about, see on tv, etc.
Your ghost story sounds eerie. You wanna come by and tell it to kids at my Halloween party this year?
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
That story was interesting as well and I believe it. It's a very strange phenomena that I'm sure many have experienced.
I don't know a lot of historical specifics about that particular house as it pertains to the Civil War. There were no documented Civil War battles fought in NJ, but there are stories that have been passed down that skirmishes often broke out between Union volunteers and small Rebel scouting parties in that area. It's been said by some historians familiar with that area that the Rebels used it as a base for spying and gathering intelligence for the Eastern theater of operations. If you look at it geographically, it makes a lot of sense. They could go undetected for significant periods of time and dispatch scouts to Eastern Pennsylvania and Virginia to follow Union troop movements. My Girlfriend at that time told me that she's heard folklore that a Rebel scouting party of less than 20 Men were massacred in that area two weeks prior to the battle of Gettysburg taking place in Eastern Pennsylvania. Maybe that party of less than 20 were hiding in that barn or running from something, who knows.
Your probably not going to hear stories like that on the history channel, but there is probably a lot of historical events from the Civil war that is not common knowledge.
Joe,
Sometimes that filter between our anger and our tongue breaks down. That tongue can be a mighty weapon if not held in check. If we could take everything bad that's come out of our mouth back, we would be saints. That's not going to happen. Like you said though, if we acknowledge our indiscretions, show remorse, and make honest efforts not to repeat it, then we are morally progressing as a human beings.
I love to tell stories, especially to kids. However, I'm the guy with the mask jumping out of the woods with a chainsaw this year at our annual Halloween hay ride and party. I won't be able to make your Halloween party. Thanks for the invite though.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I have what I think will be an issue come up this week. I have decided to spend Christmas and New Years in Florida this year. My Mom lives down there 6 months out of the year during winter. She's alone family wise, none of my brothers or sisters will be able to make it down there this year. I have some friends down there as well I would like to see.
For the past two Christmases, I have not been able to spend it with my younger S7. My time with him is delegated to the weekend before Christmas. My stbx spends most of her time during that week attending Family functions and she insist on taking our youngest with her. I have not protested so far but it's only been to keep the peace.
I've had Christmas dinner with my first ex-wife and oldest S14 the past two years which I enjoy. She treats me with respect and strangely enough like a Brother. It's OK, because I feel the same about her, like she is a Sister. We were married way to young and our divorce had nothing to do with OM/OW. It was more or less pretty amicable and the years since have heeled any lingering affects.
This year, my first ex has a new boyfriend fairly close to the holidays which wasn't the case the past two years. I don't know how long he'll last, she goes through them like a pair of shoes. She's offered to have me over for Christmas this year if I wouldn't mind her boyfriend there. Of course, I wouldn't mind, but my S14 said he saw a picture of me in a scrapbook and seemed concerned over it, questioning ex how much contact I have with her. He's not going to last long with her if he's showing any type of jealousy or control over her. She'll dispatch him with his tail between his legs... LOL! He obviously doesn't understand the dynamics of our relationship here. I guess as a stranger, I wouldn't either.
Anyway, I don't want to intrude on her this year even though I know she doesn't mind. I have 5 Sisters and two brothers and I know they would invite me over, but I've been rotating between them the last two years for dinner.. lol. My Sisters are all good cooks and it really isn't fun to cook for one. I'm the only single one in my Family now. Basically, I don't want to feel like the orphan at anyone's dinner table and I'm really fine with that.
Where I think the problem will be is where stbx will tell me how bad a Father I am for not being there during the holidays for my S7 even though she has him 90% of the week. She will tell me how she was hoping I could watch him this New Years so she could go out and party, I've had him the last two New Years which I don't mind at all. I just feel like the baby sitter and not the Father though. I'm expected to spend the Holidays on my own without my S7's company just so she could have me around for those occasions when she wants to go out and party. She always takes two weeks off from work around that time.
I just sent the email informing her about my holiday plans, so I'm just guessing what her reaction will be. When/if she starts complaining, I am going to tell her that I would LOVE to take him with me for the whole Christmas/New Years week, which I and his Grandmother would enjoy very much. I know she will not go for that, but I'm hoping it will defuse her argument. Maybe it's wishful thinking, what do you think?
As soon as standard court ordered child custody and visitation is established, this won't be a problem. She will have to concede every other holiday to me. In the interim I want to figure out a way of handling this without dealing with her spew. Hopefully, I can defuse it with my offer to take him with me. If by some miracle she agrees, I would be stunned, but very happy. I don't see that happening though.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
So really what this is all about is HER selfishness and HER using you, and you're worried about what she'll come back at you with??? I think HS is right on. If you already know that you won't be getting your son unless wife needs a sitter, then I would go ahead and make your plans. I really don't see how she can turn this on you after having made the offer you have.
Besides, a change of scenery is always nice and it will give you something to look forward to.
