What's spanish for cold shower (me) apparently not you!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Last I was feeling a little down and ASSuming/doubting that my H REALY has a business trip & not another "honeymmon" w/ OW.I was letting it get to me. So I wanted H to have me in his mind & I decided to be a little naugty adn I texted him a message that maybe if he wanted I can meet him at his hotel(in town, BTW) and we can get "freaky" for he knows what hotels do to me...I told him I will give him the time of his life like never before. Sunday I was alarmed by H's freind who cuts our lawn.I was in the backyard cleaning out the pool (big,but not an underground) so I can put it away in the garage. Besides the naughty text message I (sacastically) said "thanks 4 letting me know your grass guy was coming b/c I was brawless in the backyard"!
Well, H just called me at work and asked me if I was laying out in the backyard topless! I said no. H- oh I see you had a shirt on,but no braw? yes...
Anyhoo, he gets to chit chat about other things (our misundertanding of him picking up the girls yesturday).said he rode his motorcycle all day (ALONE no OW).
M-Oh she let you go by yourself? H- I do what I ant you know? M- Well, u use to never go anywhere w/out her. H- Well, things have changed, I dont care anymore(????). I do what I want. H- THis whole weekend I spent it bymyself and at my dad's. My dad is depressed and I stayed there I had too many beers w/ him. He talked about the good spanish home cooked meal he had overthere that he misses(hmmmmmm).
NOW heres the kicker- I am gonna try to not get my hopes up toooo much.....this is how the convo went:
H- I have realized somethings... M- oh yeah what is that? H- your right it is my fault M- (silence) H- the promblem lies within me, but I dont want to say too much b/c you will only throw it back in my face! M- no maybe the old me,but not anymore H- I dont know if I am staying at the hotel M- why will u miss her too much(i know bad of me) H- see there u go again, no I will miss YOU too much????? <insert- why would he miss me? We arent living together? M- (pause) <I made no comment regarding that> <insert- I kinda wish he would stay at the hotel as seeing some alone time away from OW always does him good and gets him thinking about US. M- (I changed the subject)my granfather is leaving next Saturday and so heres your chance to do your step family thing again w/ her. I might take them to Orlando.but not sure yet. If I do you can have the girls over night. H- What step family thing? M- You know you take them everywhere, the zoo, etc w/ HER. H- Nope. not anymore I dont. This will be my alone time daddy & the girls time /w no one else (sure well see). M- well ok H- OK I might call tongiht or tomorrow...to tlak to the girls M- Ok talk to you later.
chicki, Great Progress!!! Keep it up and yes, dont throw things in his face, H is owning up to his faults which is good.
I told my W that I admit to all I have to done her and I am facing my guilts as a man.
Keep positive and try not to bring up old stories/fights. Keep going forward, you probably are crossing that bridge and for sure do some more alone time, let H take care of the girls. The more he does this the more he will come to you.
Good luck.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
Thanks. I really need to keep my big moths hut. I need to make this a priority.My promblem is wear my heart on my sleeve too much.
Yes! I do beleive this is a major beraking (baby step) for H! H is truly MACHO in every sense of the word. His pride has always gotten in the way. So him fessing up or starting to see his own faults in BIG! I know God is working BEHING THE SCENCES even though we do not SEE it. I pray GOd every night that he soften his heart.
That is so good you told your wife that. True humility is one great turn on IMO. I am sure your wife will see it that way too.
You keep the good work. I am sure in no time your wife will see your constant changes and williness to make it work.
Do the elastic band thingy that Lissie was talking about on another thread. Before you open your mouth twang an elastic band that you have on your wrist to make you think twice about what you are about to say. Apparently after a while it becomes second nature to think about what you are going to say - or even keeps you quiet.
Just a thought
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
chicki, my W still dont believe what I am doing but I cant let this bother me. I keep on going and going. W knows I am willing to make it work from the night I stayed out til 3 AM made her think who the hell I was with and most important SOBER. I told her that I did this for my own reasons that I know if I chose not to drink I wont drink.
W says that I have a big EGO about all this since my online EA (dont have any, no more chatting for me) told me that I am handsome and that is what is getting to my head. Shame on her! W should be the one to tell me so and tell me how great I look in my work clothes etc etc. It seems like W is still being insecure regardless of what she says. W does show this from time to time.
I do pray God can tender W's heart too and bring her into the light but with her doing her online courses its taking her away from OM. This is a GOOD thing, this is what I anticipated and prayed for. I am here for her and I ensure she spends all her time doing her online courses.
Like I said, I can only go one day at a time.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
I sent H an email this morning (still no reply,this I knew). It went like this:
I want you to know that whatever it is you feel in your heart to talk to me about, I am here to listen without judging. That was the old me. I am ready to close this ugly chapter from our lives.I am ready to move on and grow from this.
I want to have a family again with or without you. I know sometimes I sound all high and mighty. I know I am far from it, but HE is making the changes in me everyday to be a better person. HE is given me strength to face a new day. I beleive HE is preparing me for a new chapter in my life.
If you dont make a choice, I will have to make it for you. I will do what I need to do. I will not let $ be an obstacle anymore.
