I was in a bar...with my cousin. And H showed up there. I'm tired of the calling. I don't feel it anymore. I don't know why I was given that vision Amy. I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me. I don't care now if I go to 30 bars. I'm not looking for a man there. I just want to get out of the house and have a decent time. I am just so tired of this sh*t.
What should I be doing? I've started moving towards "we're over so pack his stuff away".....I spent the entire weekend working on my bedroom. Rearranging, packing his things into boxes and putting them in his car since he refuses to take them....and putting my rings away.
There is nothing left to stand for.
You can't stand for someone who doesn't love you.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
So I have to move on and do for me and our D. Take care of her. Try to get some semblance of normal in our lives. Understand that we're about to be divorced parents and we'll have to share her on holidays...
And because a person is "done standing" doesn't mean their love for the person has stopped. It'd be much easier if that was the case. I'd like for it to be easy.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
I know I am missing lots of your situation but I think anything you can do to help yourself to detach will only be good for you. It will help with your anger and it will help you to move on.
If you are completely done and don't want to continue on or try then what you are doing is fine and the one of the only things you can do. If he was serious about the dating parting then he will come around and if not, well you will know that too. If deep inside you do want to try, then sure keep up with what you are doing there too because him seeing that you have taken that step to move on will get him curious. May or may not be your goal but it happens.
Anyhow, I would follow through with your packing up and make the place yours( you are keeping it?)
That's my point, You "stand" in "faith" that restoration will happen.
My dear, I really wish I could take away the pain from everyone here. It's kinda like fertilizer though, it's great for growth.
What is fertilizer....hmmm, so we stand in manure!
If it helps at all you can make holidays memorable and even better than the status quo. Be creative in your thinking, time and seperation is being forced upon you, use it!
smiles and hugs UA
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Remember that line in the bible where Jesus says He told them about earthly things and they did not believe so He asked why then, he should tell them about heavenly things?
It is quite okay to drop-kick the ball for a while.
But it's actually more like a boomerang than a ball.
It will keep coming back until YOU get YOUR part right.
You can kick and scream all you want to that your husband got the cake-walk and you got the sh*tty end of the stick.
Fact is, you got what you were predestined to make it through.
I think if he was serious, he wouldn't have hit me with the bomb last Tuesday that he doesn't love me like he should, and it's not fair to me....he's done.
Sure, I want him home. I want him back, I want him to try. I want him to try MC with me. He's not there.
He has said a part of him was never meant to be married. He got a taste of freedom and ran.
It's not healthy for me to keep hoping or hanging my hopes on him. It's not fair to him either. And you know...if he came to me in a month, said he missed me and wanted to try....I really don't know if I"d believe him anymore. This is at least twice that I've been let down like this. Third time's a charm....or just a bigger fool?
I am keeping the house. I got rid of three trashbags full of old papers, etc. Got all of D's papers from Kindy & 1st grade filed away. Had a good weekend with her.
This weekend was his b-day. I sent a text at midnight on Sunday morning telling him happy b-day. We were all supposed to go to dinner but I bowed out. He called that afternoon, but I missed the call. I called him back but let him talk to D - I didn't talk to him at all. I'm too emotional, and it was his b-day. He sent a text later saying thanks for the b-day wishes.
It's like I'm an acquaintence to him now....
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
Remember that line in the bible where Jesus says He told them about earthly things and they did not believe so He asked why then, he should tell them about heavenly things?
It is quite okay to drop-kick the ball for a while.
But it's actually more like a boomerang than a ball.
It will keep coming back until YOU get YOUR part right.
You can kick and scream all you want to that your husband got the cake-walk and you got the sh*tty end of the stick.
Fact is, you got what you were predestined to make it through.
So what do I need to be doing?
I just want to feel like I'll be able to swallow without throwing up or crying. It's just SO raw......
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
