Ok....first....nothing legal has been done so if you want to keep the kids home with you....you have every right to do so.
Second, I told you that you have to get some paperwork going....whether it is for a legal separation or filing for divorce.
Third, get everything in writing....list everything that is yours on paper...make a shopping list right now about the contents of your home.
Lastly....which should be first, seek legal counsel on everything.....use all avenues for a free consultation or whatever the state supplies for free...tell them you don't work...have nine fingers...WHATEVER...but get started on this. Don't sit on it....because it's obviously not going to get any better for you or the kids.
FA is right. You have to take charge and control over this now. If you want to see some action it is now up to you. If not, sit back and watch the show.
sorry about your h acting like he is. i don't think it is a bad idea to talk to a lawyer at all, but prior to doing anything, ask yourself what heimlich said.
1. do you want this to work? 2. is what your doing going to bring yourself closer to your goal or farther away?
he is with ow and this is crap, and you need to set boundaries but i wouldn't file or encourage him at this point. by setting boundaries you don't have to punish him for his actions, but you can tell him in a kind voice, i don't agree with your behavior, but these are your choices. i'm not going to stop you, but i don't appreciate you taking our children while we are still married to ow's house. this is confusing for the kids and causes damage. just a suggestion but think of ways you can set boundaries without punishing him, ending up in a d if that is not what you want.
FA,Atlas & trip thank you for your advice. Come Monday I am calling attorneys. I dont think H is really going to file at least not just yet. I do want to file BEFORE him seeing as how we have the agreement already signed by both but when I signed it I did not seek any attorney advice and I want to make sure he is not taking advantage.
Is this part of the LRT? I think I need to freshen up onthis chapter.
PS can he call the cops on me for not letting him take the girls? I mean i can say he does not live here. I dont know if that was his threat by saying if I dont let him take them he will need to involve "other" people.
I dont mind him visiting and taking them out but not for sleepovers.
The only legal thing you could do for not having take the kids and not having him have a word in on abpout it is if you got a restraining order....that is pretty huge and I know you don't want to go down the route but other than that, I would call a police dept and ask them that question....won't hurt anything.
MRHIGHSPEED would know probably on this./...let me see if he is around.
Is this part of the LRT? I think I need to freshen up onthis chapter.
No it's not, and I'm pretty sure Michele would not suggest it. This is something you do when you're sure that there is no hope left and you are ready to follow through with D once you file. It may get him to come to his senses, but if it doesn't you have to be ready and willing to live with your decision to file.
Hope you're doing okay, chicki! Are you coming to Orlando?
Saturday H came over to pick up his motorcycle & Iguess she drove his truck back. He did not come in but as I came out to the garage while I was doing laundry he gave me the most evil look. I just kept doing what I was doing and then went right back in the house. He closed the garage and left to my surprise I thought he was goign to take the girls!
He came over early sunday morning D10 & I were still in bed and the other two were running around the house. Before he left ( I was still in bed)he told me that the suggest I start finding me another health insurance b/c he was taking me off come Monday that he was no longer paying for mine. I had the covers over me & just said -ok. I was not up to fighting which is what he expected from me.
As dinner time came around I left H a voice message (knowing he would prolly bring them late) to let me know if I was feeding them or if he was giving them dinner. He did not return the call and by now it was the girls bedtime so I trashed the little left overs. He came in & oddly enough he seemed somewhat scared? Then tells me they did not want to eat & they wanted to eat here. Calmly I told him thats is why I left him the message now I had to see what to feed them. Did he expect a fight? Later the girls told me OW came w/ them (H aske her if she wanted to come) he has never brought her by. My mom says this is why he prolly brought her b/c he expected me to fight w/ him b/c he knew he did wrong in not feeding them & my mom wants me to document stuff like this. Not only was he late but he did not feed them either, I could of made a big fuss about it but I didn't.
So later that evening (feeling guilty again) I emailed him to his work email. Why do we LBSr's r the ones to feel guilty for standing our ground & making boundaries. Obviously cheaters have no boundaries thats why they can cheat their lives away. I need to be the R parent her dont I?
Anyhow, I wrote him that I understand the financial burden he is in & that at one time I was willing to let him come home & I would help as much I could w/ the bills. BUt that if that were to happen we would need to learn to love each other again. I reminded him that love is a choice. I agreed that we both had failed when it came to $. That I needed to know just exactly what he wanted from me.
Last night before I went to bed I noticed I had a missed call from him. He had called around 8pm and here it was two hours later. I texted him (knowing it was late & Ow was prolly home by now from school so he would not call back)I wrote that I had just now noticed he had called & that if it was urgent he can call back but it was late & if not I would talk to him tomorrow & to have a good night. H hardly ever calls anymore b/c we usually talk thru IM while at work everyday.
GD, I dont know until prolly last minute if I will go to Orlando b/c mu check will be smaller than anticipated ,but I will try. I only live two hours away!
Can you email me your cell phone number at nomopo@hornfans.com? I need to pass it on to still so she can contact you re: our upcoming DB event. She's had to stay off the boards and email.
Thansk, Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
