Can you tell me how is he having cake? Yes only on two occasions since I kicked him out has he sat down to eat dinner w/ us. I have longed stopped giving him sex. If u read my old thread u would see how many times I had turnrd him down.
You would see how he is using the kids to get back in & has even told them mommy does not want me to move back in. I told him I thought it was too soon.
Keep him from cake eating is exactly what I am trying to do.
I have been letting H take the kids for the weekends w/ him & OW,but a freind has put a doubt on my mind. She says I should stop making it easy for his affair lifestyle & tell him to make this legal if he wants to continue taking them. We r physically seperated but not LEGALLY so. It does hurt me when he takes them & plays family w/ OW,but then I feel gulty b/c he is still paying the house and the utilites. I know I dont HAVE to let him take them legally right now so now I dont know if I am doing right. The girls know its wrong for daddy to live w/ OW. So I feel like I am contradicting myself infront of them.
I think the only reason he told the girls he wants to come back is b/c he misses them. He is still driving around w/ his clothes in his trunk??? Maybe they have been fighting?
So I emailed him today & told him to just make our D agreemnet into a legal sep right now & file. I told him how he needed to notify his car ins of his new address and then I can change the locks & not have to be threaten of the electric again b/c it would be changed to my name. He said not happening he was not changing anything until after the D no need to get a legag seperation now.
Does anyone here not have a legal sep & also taking turns w/ the kids?
I think it is all a bunch of crap. I told you in the last post....he is having his cake....this is another FORM of having it and his fake, wannabe family is a sham. YOU need to get this paperwork going....you can and are still DBing but what he is doing and asking....or TELLING you...no S..blah, blah, blah....what a crock.....GET THE PAPERWORK STARTED AND SHOW THIS GUY SOME REALITY!!!!
Do I tell him he will no longer take the girls on the weekends until the papers r filed? I know he will hate me for this. He can get really I mean really mean and vengeful!!
Chicki Do they stay w/ him and OW? That is just wrong IMO.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Chicki, I've only read a little bit on your sitch, so excuse me for butting in, but have you asked yourself the basic questions of 1. do I still want this to work 2. if yes, will telling him not to take the kids to OW's going to help or hurt?
Is what he's doing wrong. Absolutely. Will telling him he can't take them to OW's totally sever the R?
Dunno, but I get the sense that you're conflicted on questions 1 and 2 and just trying to throw a little clarification there.
Good luck,
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Does anyone here not have a legal sep & also taking turns w/ the kids?
That's my sitch, chicki -- I'm leaving for a little while but will be back sometime (hopefully this evening or late tonight) to give you some feedback.
Thanks for agreeing w/ me. I belive this saying what daddy is doing is wrong for him to live w/OW,but if I let them sleep over there its saying and doing another!! I know its a little late in the game ,but still confusing to them. I can see their confusion now. Also my grandfather believes this is also making it easier(cake eating as FA says) on him. I think the LRT is for me to go & file since he wont & either way he will have to make a descion.Its a chance I take but enough is enough.
still waiting tohear other opinions on this. I went to the family court system today to see about getting temporary sole custody & they dont do that! So I will seek an attorney next week,unless my H's message he left me 2nite is true. I kept the kids from him..I know some will disagree. I have no promblem him seeing them & visiting & taking them out ,but its only the sleepovers I dont agree w/. H kept calling and I ignored,but he never left a message until now. H said ok he will leave me alone & he will file this week and then the house will be sold & I will have to move out. I had emailed him yesturday that we needed to make this LEGAL once and for all since he wanted to "play house" w/ our kids and miss wanna be step mom. He also left on the message that he was taking (being sarcastic) his "other family" to Oralndo to the amusement park & she/OW was taking my ticket and was gonna be me for a day. Heck... I am use to it by now she has been "me" for god knows how long including his "islands honeymoon getaway".
Ya need to get the ball rolling.....he's being a jerk and like you said, and me too, enough is enough! Get an attorney and make sure you cover your ass....PERIOD!
