Still stuck in Limbo Land

[MariS]

Peaceful_spirit

Thank you for the encouragement.

Trying my best to survive the roller coaster ride.

Still need 2 scrunge $$$ for more sessions w/Laurie, DB Coach.

[MariS]

Just purchased the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands a couple of days ago and I am only half way through.

What a responsibility we have as wives, mothers, lovers, etc. I do agree w/alot written in regards to our society and how our roles changed and the "extra" challenges we have as women. I am reading it w/a "grain of salt," but it is still opening my eyes to what I can do to make me a better person, wife, mother, lover, etc.

All I can say is WOW!


Mary, I will not have access to the computer after 2pm today, so I am still looking for your to check in. Thinking of you!

[maryfromaustin]

hi MariS,

I have been moving around with work, kids, husband, and myself. Which is awesome if you ask me. I would rather be this busy than sitting around thinking about what has happened in the last year.


I hope you tried what I recommended..........writing down positive things when you feel sad and lonely. I got this from Joel Osteen's book. He is such an inspirational speaker. I didn't get to sit in one of his sermons when I lived in Houston, but I watched his show constantly. He inspired me so much that I bought his book.


I sure hope you get on with YOUR life. Your H will come around if he's supposed to be in your path. I can only say that mine didn't come around completely until one year after he left. He's not home completely but he's here most of the time. He says he wants to work things out and that he misses the kids alot. All I told him was that I've waited this long, I think I can wait a few more months for our marriage to heal 100%.

Praying for you and your family. Take care.

[Walking]

Just purchased the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands a couple of days ago and I am only half way through.

Call me old fashioned, but I think understanding the Proper Care and Feeding of Ourselves is a far better place to start.

[Mickey]

I agree Walking...when THEY can understand this concept, then there is hope for a healthy relationship. We are not here to take care of them or enable their messed up behaviour.

[MariS]

Mary,

So glad 2 read U r keeping busy & there seems 2 b positives in your thread. I find it so amazing how U & I seem 2 b mirroring each other. HUGS!!!!

Journaling...

Since I last logged in, no more communication from OW trying 2 contact me & I don't mention her to WAH-MLCer. WAH-MLCer did attend a high school reunion w/me & shared my B-Day w/me.

I also read the proper care & feeding of H book & it has enlightened me. Plan 2 purchase Getting Back Together 2nd edition, How 2 Reconcile w/Your Partner & Make It Last.

I still have my own anger/resentment issues w/WAH-MLCer & still want 2 lash out 4 everything that he has done, but am doing better @ keeping my mouth shut, praying, being thankful 4 the positives & digging in harder each day.

Sometimes I think I am seeing the light @ the end of the tunnel, but am afraid to hope. Especially since WAH-MLCer will not say anything about us, still won't kiss me when having sex & hasn't opened up in any shape or form. I still see him battling w/his own demons & issues, but @ least, his relationshop w/child has greatly improved since child was born.

My evaluation deadline I set came & went. My choice/decision is to remain fighting for my M & family. We have come so far, that I am not willing to dump it all away. Have set another evaluation deadline & will see what happens then.

Until then, I will remain here in the limbo land, DB'ing, As'ifing and GAL'ing.

Thoughts, suggestions or advice????

[maryfromaustin]

hi maris,

how are you? i haven't seen you post in a couple of weeks. hope you're parent is doing well.

i've been busy with work/kids/nephew/husband/housekeeping that i don't have time to surf the net as much. i do like being busy. it relaxes me......it's weird.

i have come a long way on my own. my h is back. i can't believe what i'm writing.

MY HUSBAND IS BACK!! on his own. since his trip to NY a couple of months ago he has been different. he posted a video on youtube and he tells the kids he misses them alot and he's feeling lonely without them. he looks at the camera and says "miss you too". i guess a little time apart and a thousand miles away really did some good. he actually missed me.

we have alot to work on. i don't feel like taking everything at once and saying it's ok now. little by little i want to work on things. i tell him exactly how i feel and i told him to tell me the same thing. if something is bothering him i prefer he tell me and not hold it in. if i need some time to myself or vice versa, then we go to another room or we go somewhere. so far so good. i have yet to find a marriage counselor. there are some issues that we can't workout on our own. money issues.

hopefully i'll hear from you soon. take care of YOU first. always.


me=34
H=35...finally acting his age
kids=3
restoring what we once had. little by little.

[MariS]

Mary,

What FANTASTIC news 2 read about your H!!!

Like U, we have both come along way & many more miles 2 go.
I think U 2 are definately further along than we are.

I still see my WAH-MLCer drinking every night, having sleep problems, over weight & some mood swings - Dr. Jykle/Mr. Hyde.
Plus, still keeps referring 2 his family's apt. as "his place."
(AS if that is 2 make me afraid)

Trying 2 stay the course, since he is much better w/child & we are a lot better than where we were last year. Just still cant figure out why the D papers he filled are still open in the court, since I have not been served. Don't have the $$$ to hire a lawyer to inquire & I don't want to wig WAH-MLCer out by me asking someone. Ugh!

Problem I have now is my trust issue. The annivesary date of him walking out on child & I coincides w/the exact same date he & I met years ago. AND the friend/OW's b-day is the day after, w/friends throwing a party on "our date."

As you can all guess, I am having some problems w/that weekend coming up.

Suggestions?

[MariS]

Journaling....

WAH-MLCer was not in a great mood yesterday & I believe that friend/OW is trying to put pressure on him again, escpecially since "her" B-Day is coming up soon. Ugh!!!

Plus, WAH-MLCer seemed "put out" for having to pick child up while I worked a second job and was going to a school board meeting.

Every indication last night was that he didn't bathe child, but fed child, place child to bed & then was drinking, went to bed himself & passed out. At least I was home by 8:30pm & child was good when I check in & even wanted "Mommy" to climb in bed. :-)
(which I did - for a little while)

This morning, WAH-MLCer was in a huff that I moved to the sofa during the night due to congestion & not wanting to wake him up. Then, of course, the sex was not up to par & he mumbled under his breath about it AND mentioned friend/OW name!

AARRRGGHHH...devil go away, prayers help me!

I can still see that WAH-MLCer is trying, his relationships w/child, I & pets have improved since last year. Just hope I can continue to keep my mouth shut, stay the course & As If.

The roller coaster ride does twist/turn when you least expect, hence I know I'm(we) not ready to move to piecing.

Please send PMA....

Thank you!

[MariS]

8-22-07

Journaling...

Have no where else to vent, but here.

Snooped & discovered that WAH-MLCer has obtained ALL of my personal & work e-mail info; login id/passwords AS WELL as my two online credit card accounts. AARRGGHHHH!!!!

Needless to say, I have rectified everything & will not be able to log on from my home computer anymore. Strongly suspect "keylogger" was installed by him.

Damn, damn, damn......

Thoughts?

Can't rush out & buy a laptop, but will research one.

Thanks for letting me vent!