Moving Forward,......taking baby steps.

[~Sol]

My wife has taken my daughter out of her old school and she is placing her in a new school near her tin can of a mobile home park.

I hate to say how pissed I am, but she is taking steps to get me pissed the hell off and it makes me want to fight her on custody!!!

My "cool head" tells me to let this slide, and get divorced in 6 months, then deal with custody later to avoid waiting 1 year to get divorced and raking up $200/hour legal fees.

I am so pissed off at her that I am ignoring all of her attempted calls to me! She's a f*cking B*&ch!!!!

Yep - THAT'S the anger talking right there!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to go have a beer now~

[joyful]

Being a public school and your wife signing her up, your daughter has to go to the school within the boundary lines. She didn't do this to aggravate you, I imagine. This is if its a public school. You are saying this before bringing both schools up and looking at their ratings? See how they compare and then complain on how bad it is. It maybe a better school. Your assuming since its by a tin can, its a worse school. Before jumping the gun check it out.

Where I am at, the schools are so crowded that if you are not in school of choice already, you have to go to the school assigned to your area. So first check the school out according to the ratings and then you have some cards to deal with. Also transportation is on you if your not in district.

You have to learn to deal with your wife calmly and in good terms in order to get what you think is best. By getting angry enough not to talk is just telling her to go ahead and do it your own way.

[~Sol]

Joyful.

My daughter already goes to a better school - her old 1st grade teacher even told me so. My wife moved out of the house on her own, I didn't tell her to move out. Her reasoning for changing her schools is that there would be no one to pick her up when my daughter gets home. I don't get home till 2 hours after school is out, and while this may sound like a good reason to change her schools, its not the best reason. My wife wants more control over my daughter, that's what I see.


But what really ticks me off is that she MADE A DECISION about my daughter's upbringing WITHOUT MY CONSENT or DISCUSSING it with me. This is why I am angry.

I just talked to my wife about this, and even though she sensed I was angry, she didn't comprehend the important little detail about talking with me whenever my daughter's well being is concerned. She told me she was "sorry" for not talking to me about the change in my daughter's school - she said that she thought I already knew!!!!!!!! She's calling the shots without me - it is not right! Or should I just let her make all the parenting decisions on her own?????????

We are sharing JOINT VISITATION rights with our daughter on our own terms. NOTHING is on paper......YET.

We don't have a separation agreement, we are still married, but I am still an equal parent to my daughter, same as my wife is. I don't care if my wife lives apart - she told me she is never coming back to me but she wants to continue in this "civil" married relationship with me without living together. Well, I am moving on with my life, and if I am going to be married to a wife, I think she should be living in the same house as I live in - otherwise, we should be divorced. My wife wants me as a friend only, still wants to be married to keep me around, but said she is never coming back to live with me. I call that a shame marriage - well, it's not even a marriage at all.

I am a bit calmer now. I just wish my estranged wife will let me in on how she plans to raise OUR daughter.

[joyful]

When you arrange custody stuff you need to put that clause in there about making it a joint decision not just her opinion is the only one.

I understand your frustration cause she shouldn't tell you like its a done deal, she should tell you about the problem with picking her up after school and let it go to you as to how. If you can't come up with an idea, then moving her to the other school would be the last option not the only one.

Would your daughter have bus service or an after school program she can go to so you maybe able to pick her up later? I know our schools have asp which is after school program that watches them after school till 6 o'clock. Tell your wife you will look into it before she changes the schools.

Don't rely on the first grade teacher about the quality of the schools. Pull it up online and have a copy of it. You know for court purposes if needed. Each school gets graded accordingly.

[~Sol]

My daughter's current school is a top rated S.O.L. school. It's in a better and safer community than where my wife is currently living, and they have an after school program there.

My wife wants to use her residence to use against me later in a custody battle because we had agreed that our daughter would continue at her current school and that my place would be her primary residence. Why else would she change schools?

Everyday that my wife comes to visit she takes something from the house that belongs to her, and it's a given sign that she is not coming back. She even told me directly that she is never coming back to ME or to the house. Now she's alone, her own son doesn't want to live with her, so my wife is now desperate to take something from me too - our daughter.

I am not continuing this charade without a legal separation agreement.

[*KS*Chick*]

You need to have a discussion with her - get your cards out on the table. Calmly discuss school placement, etc. and explain (calmly) that these decisions should be made after a discussion between both of you..

[sofaraway]

SOL, absolutely get a legal seperation. Also make sure you document that she moved out and left your D with you. You may have an abandonment situation that you can use to dictate your D's school. Talk to your lawyer Sol, find out the best way to proceed and then take the neccesary steps.

Ian

[joyful]

My daughter's current school is a top rated S.O.L. school. It's in a better and safer community than where my wife is currently living, and they have an after school program there.

My wife wants to use her residence to use against me later in a custody battle because we had agreed that our daughter would continue at her current school and that my place would be her primary residence. Why else would she change schools?

Everyday that my wife comes to visit she takes something from the house that belongs to her, and it's a given sign that she is not coming back. She even told me directly that she is never coming back to ME or to the house. Now she's alone, her own son doesn't want to live with her, so my wife is now desperate to take something from me too - our daughter.

I am not continuing this charade without a legal separation agreement.

I am not disputing the schools but offered advice as to printing out the stats for your future reference to show it. To show your Daughter was in a great school and your W took her out without your permission to a worse school. Now your child should come b4 anyone and she should have the best that you both can offer. So printing out the stats of the schools to show the difference in quality will show your wife doesn't have your D's best interest and is doing things without your permission. Do you not have to sign something in order to transfer schools? I thought both parents do....but that might only be if Divorced but you should check into why the schools allowed this change without your permission.

[~Sol]

OK, I'm more calm now. My wife is not coming back to me. I am separated without a separation agreement and that is not good business sense. I am talking to her about our daughter's schooling, and which home will be her main residence.

I know one thing, that we are incompatible, and there is no love anymore between us. My wife cares for me only as the father of my child, no more. So I am moving on, getting a separation agreement, and divorcing her. My marriage is over, but my own life is just beginning.

I will post more as things progress.....

[~Sol]

Just a quick update.

I am not supporting my wife in her separation or in allowing her to change my daughter's school. She wanted me to give her gas money so she can get her ass out of bed and drive to my house to pick up my daughter - if she continued to go to the same school.

She wants to yank her out of a good school so she won't be inconvenienced by driving all the way here. Well, SHE was the one that moved out, now she's trying to take my daughter out of her school AND her main residence.

Now, while this is a big concern for me, I am getting divorced because I don't want my crazy wife back anymore. It's a disaster of a marriage - no one here can convince me otherwise. My wife breaks plates, she screams at me and the kids, she had an affair - that I unknowingly financed, I am paying for the entire house that she has 1/2 claim on, she keeps taking things out of the house everyday, she told me she would never come back to me or to the house, now she wants me to be her "buddy"?

I can do better.