Yes, you are right about the email. And, yes, I know it sounds like I was leaving a door open, and maybe subconciously I was. I was just being a coward. But you see, I had tried to tell him bye before and would return in less than a week, so I did not think he would pay much attention to it if I put it in those "bye" words. And yet, I was kind of scared to just stop emailing him without any explaination. Anyway, I may not have handled it the right way, but I felt "released" when he wrote back what he did. Since it was so short & sweet, I felt like he really didn't care. But, what you say about him returning for his addiction makes a lot of sense. We did feed each other...it wasn't just one sided.
I want to share something else with you. There is another weakness that I will have to address in my most private times. It is the fact that I will be tempted to fantasize about him. I know this is just as damaging to my M as the EA. You see, I have always had this problem, even from before I was married, I would have romantic fantasies....then after marriage, they turned into sexual fantasies. Now, I have those about the OM.
I found a book at the local Christian book store titled "Every Woman's Battle" by Shannon Ethridge. It is forewarded aby Stephen Arteburn, who had written a book like it exceept for men. I encourage...no, beg every woman to get this book. Talk about informative! Wow! If only I had had this book when I first got married it would have saved 41 years of sexual problems. I wished somebody had had the courage to step up and write the truth before now. May God bless her for her courage to write this book. I don't know about most churches, but my small church does not discuss such things as sexual fantasies! The Sunday school teacher would probably run out the back door if such a subject was even brought up! But we need this teaching! I had never had it and grew up in church. This book helps to discovver God's plan for sexual and emotional fulfillment and the struggles women have with fantasies. We have more serious struggles than men, because men's are with the "sight" issues and women's are in the "mind". Thus, we have the EA easily...if nothing more than in our minds. Anyway, I hope that may help some of the girls out there that may read this. But, please pray for me to have the strength to put my energy toward my H and not fantasize about OM.
Hope I can stay busy this weekend also. I have been reading so much, but now I need to do some other things, so hope my physical strength will hold up.
Talk later....take care.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Cire2, would like to know how you are doing. Some others that have written to me, sure would like to hear from you again. You guys are the best! Know you've heard that before, but it's the truth. Need to catch up on some of your "threads...?" I'm not sure what to call this stuff...lol.
Anway, please let me hear from you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
