Moving Forward,......taking baby steps.

[~Sol]

I am done with my own sulking and anger. Well,the anger needs work, its a daily job, but I am addressing it and I just want to move forward. I didn't say move on, but FORWARD. I feel better about saying that.

My other thread was titled with sadness, so I thought I;d start a positive one.

I'm tired of whining, and being sad, and hurting. Time to be happy again!!!

[~Sol]

Like last night. Just laying there thinking about what happened. Thinking too much on the A.....and realizing it was only a 3 month band aid for her and the real problems surpass that with 10 years. So where is the real dilemma? Our long and rocky R, that's where.

She is doing what she wants to do, OK. I accept that, I don't like it but I accept it. What else can I do? Either sulk in my own pity or work at being happy again and NOT run from my problems. I keep hearing we have to be the sane ones. I believe that is true.

Focusing on the positive is good medicine.

[~Sol]

Hey Ben....

The Columbian Princess can be yours AFTER I get her to pose for me so I can paint her. In the flesh.

[~Sol]

OK, I am just going to update myself here.....I forgot I was supposed to take my daughter to my W's place this morning on my way to work. I was sooo exhausted yesterday the whole dropping off thing just slipped my mind. I am new to this also. But I had SS at the house and I got him up to help clean the house, and watch my daughter for when W would arrive.

So I called her, she was also exhausted and didn't sleep all day - but kept fixing her place up, and she was still sleeping when I called. Also, my daughter gets up late and its hard to wake her most of the time.

But I called my W and told her I took care of our daughter, she was awake, ate breakfast, and was watching cartoons while SS was taking care of her. W was going to have her during the day anyway. I think she is more flexible than I thought, but I need to be the one to set timely boundaries since I am so busy.

I have online classes again, trying to recover from my loss of getting dismissed last term from my old school because my head was way up my a$$ and I was hurting more and a real mess back then. Now I got myself together and started with a new school, but still online. I am also starting up a company that I can use my artistic talents and all of my online education in multimedia to get up and running. I don't want to work at my current job forever, and be at the same pay level. I need to do something better and different with my life and be able to provide a better future for my daughter and myself, because my W won't - or can't - unfortunately.

So I have high expectations of myself now, from parenting, to handling my W better as a friend only, to becoming a business owner.....and just having great relationships....but my daughter is at the center of it all. She will need me to be there for her, and a good provider and mentor.

[MikeinMidland2]

Sounds like you're doing well, Sol. Keep it up.

[Aud31]

Hi Sol,

Just stopping by to say "Hi!"

So I have high expectations of myself now, from parenting, to handling my W better as a friend only, to becoming a business owner.....and just having great relationships....but my daughter is at the center of it all. She will need me to be there for her, and a good provider and mentor.

I love this for you. The more you can take the pressure off your R and focus on yourself, the happier and more in-control you will be. Good luck!

[~Sol]

Thanks Mike and Aud!

Today my W called me at work. She just called to say "hi". Before< i would have been all emotional about it, but it was nice that she called. I guess she misses me now that she is on her own - sort-a-speak. It was a nice gesture on her part - but that is all I am seeing it as.

I am just a friend to her for now, and nothing more. No sense in getting all emotional all over again right? Already been down that road. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was DBing by taking care of myself. But that is all I can do anyway - take care of me.

Oh, she did invite me to have dinner with our daughter. I picked them up at her place, went to a Vietnamese restaurant near her place, has a nice time, and then I took her back and I went home with my princess. I am spending a quiet evening with my daughter just watching some movies and relaxing.

[mkultra]

That sounds like a good baby step, indeed.

[whatisis]

Sounds great Sol. Enjoy these kinds of moments, they mean so much more now don't they! Treasure them when they happen. You sound like you are in a good space right now, great work. Look after Sol and you are looking after the sitch.

[~Sol]

It is a challenge, I have my ups and downs but I try to let the downs come and go quickly. I just look back at my W and my sitch and I remember the problems that led us here. Even though she seems like she's trying to "be good", and we actually get along a bit better, I am not forgetting that she too needs to work on her issues - they are still there.

I ask myself if I can take her back, and I say no - not the way she is. I get lost sometimes in my own emotional inadequacies, but I try to get back on track. As far as my W goes - she's still looney, and I still need to work on myself.