No More pull-ups good for you Brig. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I find myself having deeper, and more honest conversations with men now that I never had with ex, and sometimes I'm even amazed that men actually care what I have to say. It feels good!
Goodnes is this a grown up and mature relationship? I never had one of those before.LOL
How many of us never had one of those before? I know I didn't. I told my T last year that I had never been in a healthy relationship.
And how many people are out there right now, staying in relationships that "need work" instead of doing the work because they're afraid of what they'll find inside themselves? OK, that's really not that important compared to knowing about ourselves. I used to think that the real hard work would be after I "won back" my ex-wife and moved to the Piecing forum. (We'd already been in MC for two years before the bomb that brought me here. Can you say 'denial?' I knew you could. ) Now I think the real work was in recognizing the relationship was flawed and wouldn't recover just because one spouse did.
Or something like that.
Thanks,
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
I'm sure most people now days haven't had a healthy relationship.With the divorce rate you know most aren't healthy.And of the ones that last how many of them aren't healthy?Are they just sticking it out.
I'm just happy that I have seen a grown up relationship for what it could be.It sure feels good being heard.Haven't had that in my relationships.I knew there were men out there that listened.I just had to look at the good men instead of the ones I have always been attracked to.
Well I need to get my beauty sleep.LOL
Later Friends Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
I think you've made a very wise decision. Sometimes we just have to invest in ourselves before we can truly offer all that we are and all that we have to commit to starting a healthy R. I think people tend to merge their issues by jumping too fast when they arent ready and it only complicates things more. And like you said that's not fair to either party.
I honestly dont know many people if any who have a true healthy R - even the ones who on the surface seem like they have it all have their share of cheeseless tunnels. I dont think any R is without it's issues because it CAN be so much work - and it's far to easy to sweep things under the rug rather then invest the work/time needed to change and improve things. It takes alot of self sacrifice on both ends.
Quote:
I just had to look at the good men instead of the ones I have always been attracked to.
ah, a good man is hard to find.........but a hard man is a good find! LOL. sorry saw that on a swanky T-shirt in 5-points.
why is it we seems to be attracted to the same type of guys over and over, the ones we KNOW are pretty much poison to us? maybe we dont think we deserve better? or maybe it's just a pheromone they produce like an animal in heat that draws us to them! LOL! either way if someone has the cliff notes on that one I'd sure appreciate it!
But if this guy is willing to be understanding and patient, then by all means go at YOUR pace and let it build from there.
Do you suppose the phenomenon that people change partners like dirty laundry has to do with the "it's all about me" messages and our society's acceptance that people do not have to accept the responsibility for their own behavior? I'll probably get some 2x4s here but I think it does. This is my own opinion but I think a "family" is a little group who loves you unconditionally. That doesn't mean you get to behave however you want. But, we have a lot of people in this country who never accept responsibility for their own actions. Someone else or the "government" is supposed to bail them out and make things okay and happy and they complain when that doesn't happen rather than take action to bring about change.
Of course, posting that here is somewhat like preaching to the choir because I don't think you'll see anyone with that attitude post on this BB but I think there are a lot of people with that mind set and they don't think their actions have any impact when really there can be a huge ripple effect on a lot of people.
Briget, I hope you get the apartment you want and good for you for getting back in school!
Ha Glenda no 2x4's from me.I agree with you.But for me right now it has to be about me and my family first.I'm not in a place where I could have a healthy relationship.I have so much I need to do to fix my life.However now it's only about the geography of my life.I'm as emotionally ready as I can be.Just need to get the rest in order now.
I'm ready to put myself into a relationship but I want to be settled.
HK whatcha doing tonight?I'm heading to the landing for fireworks and fun.I don't know if they are still doing the free concerts there like they did a few years ago.But seeing the fireworks over the river is awesome.
Happy 4th everyone.
Later Friends Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
LOL I promise they are out there.As the mother of three wonderful son I know they are out there.I was just looking at the wrong ones.
Hi everyone!
Hope your fourth was wonderful.Mine was.I went to the beach with D20 and her BF and D12.They lite fireworks from the pier.The wind was blowing and nice cool breeze off the water.It was hight tide so the water slowly creeped up on us.
The whole night was wonderful.
In a few minutes I'm heading to the apartment complex to see if I got it.I'm going in person.Waiting by the phone seems silly.
Not much else going on today.
I will let ya'll know when I get back if I have a new home.
Cross you fingers and say a prayer.
Later Friends Briget
The grass is always greener over the septic tank... Erma Bombeck
Treat hate with Love... DR. Martin Luther King
