Stillme's Chapters Continue Some More

[stillme]

Donna, not sure what the "all mushy" reference was to. I haven't had any "mush" for so long I've forgotten what it looks/sounds like. Also, the "politeness" reference? If you mean MY politeness, well H has had obviously no appreciation for that as it only served to escalate H's teeth grinding & disrespect for me.

So, still going w/the Cold & Done (or, as I like to think of it: Setting The Stage). H didn't call yest (for the kids) at all. This morn. he calls while D & I were still snuggling in my bed (must've been 8am or so). D ran to get it & got back into bed w/me - as she talked I could hear H's side as well. Not that they mean alot, but there were def. 2 times H seemed to be "digging" for info. "You went to the movies? Was it just you & A & mommy?" & "You have a new friend? Where did you meet her?"

H (again) obviously said some version of "No, thanks" when D asked her usualy "Do you want to talk to mommy now?"; then he talked to S. About 10 min. later he calls back. (Turns out he was at the airport term., so MAYBE he "had to" end the first call early? The 2nd call was when he was having b'fast & had more time (to kill, to want to talk to someone who cared?) - So, D answered the phone again & they talked again. I was up & around by then, but soon S comes to me w/the phone held out. "Daddy wants to talk to you." I let a little dead-air build (stroking S's hair) to stall, then took the phone & said "Yes?"
H: "I'm going to p/u the kids when I get back."
Me: [dead-air]
H: "I'm driving there straight from the airport."
Me: "Is there a time frame we're talking about, or do I not get to know that?"
H: (snippy) "Yes. You get to know. It'll be around lunchtime."
Me: Okay. Is that all?
H: No. That's not all. Just wait & I'll look at my ticket. . . Okay. My flight gets in at X, so I'll be at the house btwn X & Y."
Me: Fine.
H: I need S to have his jj stuff ready to go.
Me: Is that all?
H: Yes! Bye.
Me: [click]

Yest. I took the family photo off the 'fridge that's been there since Jan.6th (day after DBing began, when I started acting As If & asked H if he would like to join me & 2 kids at Pirates Dinner Adventure [2 free tix given to us by friend]. He twisted his day around & we all went, had a very fun (like Normal!) time & H, for the first time ever!, bought the photo-pkg when offered. (Actually, we both answered "yes" at the same time when the pirate came around selling it.) I had been chosen as part of a relay team (throwing booty-beanbags up to the pirate in the crow's nest &, b/c of my, um, lack in the Height Dept. &, lol, b/c I was laughing too much to do it well, ended up beaning a poor woman in the head w/it instead. My eyes automatically sought out H's & he was LOLing along & reaching out to High-5 me. THAT's what I remember when I look at that photo. -- And that's the only family photo we had up (All the others of our wedding/dating went into the bathroom trash on Bomb-Day & stayed there for a good week b/f I put all the trash out.) -- So, now that photo's gone.

I also have the dining room table covered w/piles of the photos I have not scrapbooked for - literally - the past year. There are photos of the July trip (when H admitted to deciding on the D), plus the '06 F'Day Wkend in Miami (Yeah, happy smiley faces all around!), plus holidays, b'day parties, the Pirates pics, family-times (during DBing Friendly Roommates times) & then me&kids times. . . I've started making my way thru the piles & will make honest pages documenting the family. Moving on.

H will no doubt want to keep the kids not only tonight (a scheduled) but - b/c he missed first Mon., then Tues (as his travel got extended day to day) - tomorrow night as well. Then he's to have them Fri-thru-Tues morning. Don't know if I'll make that an issue - yet. But will prolly 'let' him have Thurs. night b/c I was going out with The Girls anyway.

Fri I have Night Out plans as well. Gonna step up the evenings out (even if they ARE evenings spent at a friend's, or at the bookstore) b/c, as usual, H will no doubt be stopping by all thru the wkend for whatever reason. Friend A wants me to fly to Bahamas over 4th of July (in HER friend's 4-seater, to stay at his fam's beachhouse), but I can't b/c I'll have the kids back by then. But would'a been nice, huh? Gonna start planning the get-aways to the friends that have been inviting me (Daytona, def., but unless flights are stupid-cheap I don't see how I can fly to Houston for a wkend - yet).

Gonna line up some non-dates going to the places I've always wanted to go (w/H) -- that Brunch rest., Cirque de Soleil, local & traveling B'way theatre, etc. I think I got too lax in that part of the GALing. IF it gets back to H, he'll see that I'm not waiting around for him any more. IF it gets back that I went w/a 'non-female', hmmmm... H has seen that I've been GALing but saw/heard thru kids that most (if not all) was done around Pilates/gym, kids, or w/girlfriends who he 'knows' & prolly feels/thinks wouldn't do anything 'wrong' - plus the fact that I've obviously been "waiting for him to change his mind", well, why should he be threatened? Time to shake that up a bit.

So - Plan in effect. Time to get my Game Face (&, uh, outfit) on. Will be ready to leave when H comes by in a few hrs for the kids. NO talk; distracted; no opp for him to (lol, as IF!) talk about his trip, his job, his boat or whatever else he sometimes brings up when the mood to "be nice" strikes. I've got Other Things to do.

Ta!

[ItsKat]

Hmmmm, dead air. I think I will start incorporating that into more of my conversations.

I know what you mean about pictures. I look at pictures of H during certain times and wonder what was actually going through his head when the picture was taking. Was his smile just for show? Oh well, can't worry about it. I, too, am anxious to get through these last couple of years of pics and move on to the future. Luckily, most of our pics are of our kids because they are the cutest things ever.

You go with the GALing! Sounds like some fun stuff!

[stillme]

Just had a Thought!

Why can't I "GO" on Bahamas trip??? I'll just "go" on the wkend. No, not actually fly there (b/c, really, I was/am very nervous about the little airplane thing anyway), but say that I've been invited away for the WKEND w/friends so I won't be home. Or just BE GONE for the wkend, w/no explanation - or vague whatever if necessary. Then go & stay at Friend A's house for the wkend. ?? Still thinking. . .

Also just put on the (mostly bleh) HITS LIST music channel. Def. 180. Party Like a Rock Star is on now. LOL.

Sprayed perfume a little heavy this morn. . .

H thinks I'm an Actress?
This will be an Academy-Award winning performance.

[SunnySeason]

Morning J,

Well, if I'm having a reaction to your "Setting The Stage", then I can only imagine your H is! Have a feeling he'll be doing lots of kid quizzing in the near future. I don't lie to my kids, I do however make it mysterious (they don't know where mommy goes either) to them also, since I don't want to put them in an uncomfortable position. S4 is difficult to get anything out of in the best of circumstances since he was a late talker. Your kids are very articulate, so mystery will be a lil' tougher, I'm guessing.

I'm looking forward to hearing about the new GAL & how it plays out.

Like I said, I would love to be one of your "non-dates". It would just be the airfare, so less than taking your kids to an amusement park or a couple of dinners out. You haven't told me yes, but ya haven't turned me down either. D*mm, you're even good @ DBing me!

L&L,
Sunny

[confuseddude]

just catching up on the sitch stillme...doing just fine it looks like

[stillme]

More ideas (Shoot - think I'm ALREADY enjoying this a bit too much. lol)

-wearing earrings I wouldn't normally during the day (tho not by any stretch gaudy or evening-wear)
-left H's mail in a messy pile in the 'foyer' (Til now, it's been in the 'usual mail place' on the kitchen counter)
-Kids' Stuff (jj gear, blankets) to take w/H is in the messy pile S left it on the sofa. (Usually, I make it nice & neat)
-The Orlando Music Scene mags are on the floor by the sofa (picked up more than a wk ago & haven't looked at them since - but will!) The one w/the racier cover (neon colored bikini-clad cartoon woman) is poking out from under the top on.
-left the kids' rooms w/unmade beds & not as picked up as norm. (ie., didn't have time/couldn't be bothered/forgot. . .)
-gonna tell H it's no prob he keeps kids Thurs. as that will save me bbysitter's fee but that they'd had a playdate set for Fri morn (which we did) b/c the schedule said he wouldn't be getting them until that aft/evening. Let him decide what to do about playdate.

More ideas coming. . .

About the kids, yeah, I don't lie to them but I am prolly the master of the non-answer & the change-the-subject, lol. Also thought I'd "invent" a friend (female) H AND KIDS don't know as the one I'm spending alot of time w/. . .

Still considering the trip, Sunny. (LOL - keep you guessing; by mysterious; are you worth it?) NOT! I am SO wanting to visit! Give me a bit to see what's up. (Don't want to mess w/your own sitch tho. Could be good/could be not-so-good if H's wanting to/thinking to [do whatever pos] & I'm hanging around. . .

[stillme]

More --

-Put (that!) pic of me & kids at beach in place of (Pirate's) fam. photo on fridge w/magnet "Life's too short" above.
-Leaving dishwasher door open w/clean dishes half-emptied PLUS dishdrain full of drying dishes AND some dirty b'fast dishes/cups on the counter btwn the 2. Hmmm, not showing a definitive answer on the "wash your own damm dishes & help me out financially" now am I? (Did I mention he has now made it his norm to reduce his bi-monthly checks [for food/gas/kids/misc expenses] by $100 EACH check?)
-Left ins. co. check (reimbursement of my C fees which has to be made payable to H & signed over to me) face-down on his stack of mail w/ "Deposit only xxxxx" & a pen next to it. Don't even have to ASK him to do this "for" me.
-Going out to check out paint colors for my bath. Been meaning to do this since H movd out (and actually since WE moved in b/c I HATE the periwinkle blue the prior owner colored one wall, and the beige on the others). Also gonna do a little update/re-do in the kids' bath

[stillme]

And, oh yeah, leaving Hotwire's Travel Deals web page up on the 'puter screen. . .

[insert: evil smiley-face here]

[Nomopo]

but unless flights are stupid-cheap I don't see how I can fly to Houston for a wkend - yet

I've got an easy solution to this problem, but I have a better idea related to this

Like I said, I would love to be one of your "non-dates". It would just be the airfare, so less than taking your kids to an amusement park or a couple of dinners out. You haven't told me yes, but ya haven't turned me down either. D*mm, you're even good @ DBing me!

Interested girls?

Wait, I see you're way ahead of me:

Still considering the trip, Sunny. (LOL - keep you guessing; by mysterious; are you worth it?) NOT! I am SO wanting to visit! Give me a bit to see what's up. (Don't want to mess w/your own sitch tho. Could be good/could be not-so-good if H's wanting to/thinking to [do whatever pos] & I'm hanging around. . .

So what's new about that???

[SuperDad]

Stillme,
Not sure where your sitch is going, but it at least brightened up my lunch hour!
SD