have to admit it's getting better a little better all the time... getting so much better all the time (hey am I too young to know these songs??)
was a time when I wasn't sure but you put my mind at ease... we can make it...we wont fake it...never break it...all we need is just a little patience ooooo patience.
can someone sell me some patience and a mouth seeling device???
ok so why my sudden change of attitude. because I know that most of what I feel is simple frustration at the way things are dragging and what I am doing is focussing on the things that aren't going well instead of focussing on what is.
strangly enough h just called to straghten things out from our prior conversation.
first off appologized for being short, that he had just been out of the truck dealing with busted pins on the plow, had someone else in the truck with him, was tired from not getting much sleep, etc...
went on to explain exactly what the sheet was in a manner that was not defensive or aggrivated. appologized for my morning starting out that way. explained the "deal" that he has with the customer who's appartment he "had" (that's an odd way to put it cause as far as I know he still has it, suppose I will know that appartment is gone when I see the tv he has there in our basement) wanted to clear things up with me and said he was sorry. I also appologized for making such accusations.
so tonight I have a c appointment...I've been wondering for a long time if I should still bother to go. the c just seems to keep pushing the me going back to school thing and though I know it would be good for me now is not the time.
I wish h would go to c with me but that may never happen.
ll, maybe you need a new c? you sound much better. i will be taking yoga again and i really enjoyed that. i also signed up for 3 golf lessons and i have no idea why, just thought it would be something different could you take a class that is fun? something creative? painting, stamping etc? met a couple other people(here) who are in MA. i wonder where oops, d just found me,bye,lisa
Haven't been posting the past few days but have been keeping up with your thread. I could really feel your frustrations coming through as of late - which is good in a way. We all have a tendency to be down concerning our respective situations - but what do we do about them?
Wait - listing to a big band rendition of "On the Sunny Side of the Street" while I'm typing this...
OK - I'm back now...
Glad that your H called and straightened out the misunderstanding and was apologetic about it. On a totally unrelated subject, C was talking to W and I about the emotions that I will be experiencing with my job search - feelings of uncertainty and disappointment - but that I need to keep in mind that this is not a sprint. W likened it to a war. And you won a battle of sorts with your H's phone call. It's those little victories that add up to winning a war, LL.
Like Dotto said - keep focusing on the positives. God knows I need to follow that advice as well.
The old LL is back!!!(I don't mean "old")...so happy to hear you are upbeat...it just takes our own time to really figure out what the he** we have to do to make us happy..There are going to be down and crappy days...but being able to pick up and move forward is the key. The duct tape thing sounds good..I need a few pieces every so often. Have a great day Sue
Hey LL, sounds like things are a bit better. It's funny (well not really), but I've found you and I have these patterns of getting ticked off followed by being okay with the status quo (for now). For me, it's like two days on and two days off.
things are getting better. I am accepting that patience is key and letting go of some of the ridiculous expectations that I have (gee like my h is really going to propose to me) last night I went to my c appointment and then skipped of to the store for diapers and misc house stuff. got home to find h at the puter checking the weather. sat in front of the fire for a bit and then h was tired (exauhsted is more like it) and was going off to bed asked if I was staying up for a bit. it takes me a while to fall asleep so I told him I'd wait a bit so that I wouldn't bother him. he then leaned over and gave me a huge hug (actually I was sitting and his head was almost in my lap) he just kept holding me tighter and tighter (don't know where it came from and decide not to analyze it) I ran my fingers through his hair cause the hug seemed like he needed comforting but I didn't bother to ask if he was ok. so that led to what it led to then off to bed we both went cause then I wouldn't be bothering him I'd just go to sleep myself.
this am he took my car to the mechanic to get some things fixed (don't know how we'll pick it up without dragging the kiddos out into the cold)
so things are good. things are getting better. there is more that I want but perhaps in time if I have the patience.
my c gave me a marital survey, one for me and one for h, since he doesn't talk much and isn't ready to go to c, perhaps he will fill out the survey for me? don't know if that'll be a good thing or not as I haven't read through it yet and who knows maybe h wont even do it.
Quickly a thought. Have you thought of saying things to your H about your happiness last night? Maybe do/say something special to him or otherwise to let him know that it was exactly what you wanted in your R. Be specific of what you liked about (perhaps not initmacy every night, but hugs more often when he comes home or before going to bed). Let him know that these little acts go a long way (see how much you feel better today compared to the past few?) Give him a few more times of those specific positive reinforcement after he does the right things and see if he "gets it".
Quote: Have you thought of saying things to your H about your happiness last night?
the other night when he gave me a hug and a kiss, I said " that was nice thank you, and it's even nicer when I don't ask for it!!" I did after reading your post try to call h but he has the phone at his office tied up with the puter I can tell cause he knock me off of aol (I don't use that to come here I have the cable connection at home) but I think to many thank you's can become meaningless like when every mornning I was enthusiastically thanking him for making my tea he finally said "you don't have to keep thanking me" so now instead I make him a pot of coffe (he just makes himself instant).
for some reason today I feel like calling ow and saying nani nani poo poo!!!! actually all along I have had thoughts of sending her a copy of dr. she needs it. I really hope she does not go through with her d. suppose it really has no relevance in my life what she does, but it is sad to think that someone would tear apart a family (oh she says they are going to do it the "right" way) for such trivial reasons as she gives.
anyway that is that. it's funny how much I know about ow, h never talks about her, never did, all the things I know I know from my calling her...she would talk to me for hours til I finally would say ok I don't want to listen to you anymore.
could you take a class that is fun? something creative? painting, stamping etc? met a couple other people(here) who are in MA. i wonder where oops, d just found me,bye,lisa
then off to bed we both went cause then I wouldn't be bothering him I'd just go to sleep myself.
Chuck