Well, H has found himself a counselor and is trying to get an appointment next week. He continues to call me everyday and stopped by my house on Sunday to see the girls. Right before he came over, I tried to start my car and my battery had died. H picked up a new one and installed it for me. I thanked him. After the girls went to bed, H and I had another talk. It was again very emotional for the both of us. I told that I think it's great he's going to counseling and that I hope he keeps it up and not loses sight of his goals. He kept telling me how much he knows he screwed up and that the feeling he felt when I told him it was over last Sunday was more than he could bear (join the club). I sooo bad wanted to just spill my guts and tell him the millions of things that I so wanted to tell him while we've been separated. We all here know what I'm talking about...the sappy emails, the whys, the how could yous...all the things we all wanted to say, but mostly didn't for DB purposes. I did let a little spill out, but caught myself early on as to not make a huge, deep discussion with him...
Question...what would you guys do in my situation? Mind you, I still don't think he's going to endure all of the work he would need to in order to get himself fixed...I still don't think I could be with him...although I DO want to..that never changed. It's sooo hard not to sit there and tell him EVERY LITTLE THING I wanted him to change and do, especially when he's begging for it. But I do know that if I did, he would only be treating it like a laundry list to ultimately get me back. This to me, is not genuine.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
SG-- Maybe he needs the laundry list, but not all at once. It is SO positive that he is going to a C. Do you know if they are solution-based? After a few private sessions, maybe you could go in with him to one, get the most important / big issues out on the table. You can't tell if he will be the person you need to be for it to work. But you worked on you and changed...could he possibly work on him to change, as well? This could be the chance for that... WAS believe with their whole heart that the LBS cannot change--D is the only answer. But we do. Can you afford him the same opportunity? Otherwise, you will never know...
I do not have any advice but I do admire your efforts as they are inspirational to me. It sounds like you need to rebuild trust at this point. Thank you for sharing your strength.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
