I'll second Corri's suggestion to do an ME weekend. It can help with the communication. It's helped here, we still do a weekend a month with other couples.
Scott
"Satisfaction is not guaranteed." Rule #19 Ferengi "Rules of Acquistition"
Excellent work! I think the most important thing to pay attention to in your post is this:
Quote:
"Choc., whatever happens between us, I need to base it on what Mrs. Choc. needs, not on some guy. I realized that I needed to end it with him so that I could make clear decisions."
The thing to bear in mind is that you are "some guy" too. She has probably finally figured out that her sex drive will be non-existent if she doesn't take some personal ownership for it. She may start behaving like Journey did when she first started posting here. Therefore, you need to be prepared to not become defensive if what "she" wants sexually isn't what you've been wanting her to give "you" all these years. (Personally, I bet you would look really cute in the black leather vest and chaps.)
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
We went to Retrouvaille. They said ME was for people with decent marriages and Retrouvaille was for the more troubled marriages. I whole-heartedly recommend it. We still have troubles but I'd be in me third year of divorce without that weekend.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
