only you can say when enough is enough. It's very individual for us all. This book, this "system", this way of thought is very different for each of us.
Slow things down on your part. Take care of yourself first. Be ok with you. I'm struggling in this part myself right now.
I want things to move faster, but each timeline for everybody is different. Some timelines never end...just the facts.
From what you've said, you need to get ok with you. Do your 180's and maybe consider going dark on him.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
You are right, I need to stop discussing these things for now. I really need to figure some things out on my own. I need to stop this M talk.
He wants to be "friends", I said ok, but we need to stop discussing our M and past issues and just talk about normal things....
He said, never mind then, you are just a child support cheque for me, we can't be friends. I am now leaving this to him. He wants to call, he wants to talk, he can call me.
Going dark eh? Careful down this path. I think most important is to get yourself straight first. Shine.
H-36 W-38 Married 14yrs Together 17 2 Children (D12, S15) 9/20/05 - Seperated 4/23/07 - Dbomb dropped 4/25/07 - I Love you, not in love "If it's not hard, it's not worth fighting for."
I am not really going dark, more like a dark shade of gray
The part I am going to go dark on is the R. If he calls and starts to discuss things, and they are obvoiusly going bad, I will just politely tell him that the conversation is over before it blows up into world war 3
Normally, we talk, he pushes, I remain patient, he pushes more, I get a little aggrovated, he pushes more and gets really hostile and before I know it I am getting defensive and the conversation is now an argument.
I have to stop these conversations from going down these paths when I start feeling aggrovated.
I am trying to get myself straight first. I hopefully will meet a new C this weekend (looks like some scheduling issues have come up). He is a cognitive-behavoiural theripist who focuses on strategies and solutions. We will see what happens.
I have to start to GAL. I am starting to feel really lonely and depressed recently. For the past 18 months I have pretty much been dedicated to my M without much freedom to do things for me. Trying to get out of that cycle is tough.
