How long does Replay last?

[still hoping]

OC: Thanks OC for the advice. I'll give it some thought. I still have some time to think things through, but seriously - each day, I'm getting more comfortable and confident with my decision and can actually imagine starting my new life. The job I'd be taking would be totally new to me - definitely something I could apply to other future jobs as well. There are a lot of career options for me, actually, if I were to make the move. Will just have to sit on it for a while and really be sure about my decision. I'll check up on your post after this to see how you've been... Remember: patience!

HM: My H has fallen so far off of his rocker, I really don't think he'd care at this point. He and his family have known that if we were to D, I would most likely move. Back at the end of 2006, when we discussed me moving away, he said he knew that it was a possibility and hoped that I would move to the nearer of the 2 countries I could possibly go back to. But he said he wasn't ready for me to do that at that time. Immediately following our S, I left the country with our boys for a month, and then for another 2 months in Nov/Dec. Although I think he'd miss the kids (esp. S5), he's prepared to see us go. How messed up is that? Thanks for the advice, but my H won't fight me on it. The worst thing I'm imagining is that the family will no longer offer financial support, which I'm prepared for. Once my decision is made and things are put in to action, I am going to be very honest and open with them about everything, so that they know I'm not running away with the kids, but taking responsibility for us and our lives. That is my main priority, but at the same time, H must be smoking crack if he thinks I'd let my boys anywhere near that dirty "high class" whore of a GF he has. I'm not saying that because she's the OW - it's the truth - that was her previous profession, before H "rescued" her by opening a restaurant for her.

The latest news: Saw H on Saturday (see 9 posts up for how that went - basically H was cold and distant) and I was at the house again yesterday for several hours. H was there, but I didn't go up to his room at all to see him, like I usually do. Only time I saw him was when he came down around dinner time on his way out. This time, I didn't even bother saying hi to him, but he came out to say bye to me as he was leaving. So just now - H called on his way home from the airport asking me to return the camera that I borrowed on Saturday. Said he needed it this week. I asked him when he would next be at his mom's and he claimed since he just got back, that's where he was headed. So I asked when will he be there next (figuring tomorrow he'd be going back to his other place he still denies having) and he says tomorrow. Such BS - STILL!!! Asked him how his meeting went and apparently the contract he's been trying to get is confirmed, so I think he's really happy about that. I told him he'd done a good job, and then we hung up. Don't really get why he called - he usually TMs for stuff like that. Maybe cuz it was easier while driving? Maybe so I'd ask about his meeting? Yet another question I don't need to obsess over.

[still hoping]

So today I find out that BIL (who supposedly hates OW) introduced OW as H's GF over 6 months ago to some mutual friends (who he maybe did not know knew me). Nice...

If anyone who has been on these boards for a long time is following my very scattered posts, have you ever seen such an awful situation? And is there ever ANY hope in a case like mine? Is my M worth holding on to? I know that every case is individual and that I'm backsliding with where I should be mentally - just really wondering if I should throw in the towel at this point and give up all hope. Obviously, I've been trying to do this, but in my heart, I still want the fairy tale ending - I want to be able to say 5 years down the road that we survived the worst of the worst and would love to be happily M to my H again. Would love an outsider's point of view.

[Holly06]

It is possible if you want it.

[a new 2moro]

I see moving as the only way to escape the madness and turmoil of this situation for me....I see starting over in a new place with a new job as the only thing that will keep me from killing myself. Replay has become too much for me to handle. The man I married is dead...but a replica keeps trying to destroy me.

[still hoping]

Honestly, I do want to keep going - just not here, not like this. Like an2m, I also see moving and starting over as the only way to escape this madness. The recent revelations of his actions from the past 18 months are unimaginable. The man I married is also dead - I guess I'd rather think he's buried deep inside. I'm numb from all the things I've learned about him - I don't even think that finding out something as crazy as he's having a child with or already M to OW would phase me at this point.

There's been no spewing, so I guess I'm lucky in that sense, but his insane actions more than make up for everything else. Also did not mean to seem insensitive when I said that my sitch is the most awful case out there. I know we must all feel that way...

Feeling terribly sad today for some reason. And helpless too - I so wish that I could be there with him to help him through this now, but I know I can't. Just having a temporary moment of weakness - glad the times they hit are much less and don't last as long as before.

[a new 2moro]

Dead is better...than you stop hoping for a return.....if it happens it happens.....having contact with the replica is devastating. The cold dark eyes.....the senselessness of his insidious behavior and treatment of me over the past year with OW is crushing. I dont get it. How can you treat someone you loved that way? Oh yeah MLC.....the ticket to temporay insanity

[still hoping]

The drama continues.

Apparently, OW is showing her ugly side. Threw a glass at H after finding out that H had not told me that she is his GF (in fact denying she was even in the country). Stupid B*tch ended up stepping on the broken glass and cutting her foot open! Hasnt been able to walk for 2 weeks. Gotta laugh about that one. But I guess things are now back to normal with them. Am pleased though, that her jealousy is rearing it's ugly head. Oh - speaking of ugly - friend told H and OW that I was "shocked to see that that was what she looked like and didn't see her as a threat"!!! Not sure what friend was thinking telling her that, but am glad he did. Needless to say, she hates me.

Saw H yesterday but we didn't speak to each other. Im having a hard time being nice to him. And having an even more difficult time really giving up.

How do I justify giving up on my M after all that I've said and done these past few months, trying to save it?

an2m: You're right - dead IS better.

[Keepingthefaith7]

My H referred to Ow as "someone else" when I spoke to him the other day.

Wonder how Ow would feel if she knew her BF won't even refer to her by name??

When I found out what type of person my H's Ow was I no longer felt threatened either. If this is the kind of woman my H wants to be with then he isn't worth it. I am a much better person than she will ever be. I just wish my H would take off his blinders and see her the way everyone else does.


K

[a new 2moro]

talk to Holly...the pole swinger she has great insights on this! It helped me to understand why they affair down. Yeah my H's OW is a cow..gained so much weight she qualifies as an amazon woman....ok it gives me some satisfaction i admit but i understand now why he doesnt see it.

[still hoping]

KTF: I feel exactly the same. She is the farthest from the type of woman my "real" H would ever be attracted to. None of his friends respect or accept her. Actually, deep down, I don't even think that H respects her. He's the type that would never put up with anyone disrespecting anyone he loved. I too hope that he will one day wake up and see her for what/who she really is.

an2m: Thanks - I think KTF has already asked Holly for the info and got a lengthy and detailed response. When I first read about "affair down", before I knew anything about OW, I totally didn't think it applied to my sitch - but it is the perfect description after all. And it is actually a relief to see/know that... Have to admit - my confidence was really down when I thought she was some gorgeous, exotic, globe-trotting young thing. So far from the truth!

Just wanted to share what S who is turning 5 this week said to me tonight after I told him we can still love daddy but he doesn't have to live with us. He said "I think Daddy will be sorry that he's staying at grandma's house and will come back home to live with us. Do you hope that will happen?"

Yeah, I do hope that will happen. Crossing my fingers but not holding my breath...