How long does Replay last?

[mermaid]

Kind of along the lines of what IMP was saying. I would not look for positives or baby steps until they are out of replay.They bounce around way too much for these things to even matter in the beginning.

Stop this and concentrate on other things that make you happy. Work on yourself. Detach from your h completely. Let go and drop the rope.

[Lissett]

AAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKK

hanging head in shame, I was talking to PWS, or whatever her new name is.

AND.. When i say positives I don't mean positives in that H is comning home, I am past that. I mean positives in herself.

(sigh)

I did post and run, and then It goofed, and,,, and.... I'm sorry

[still hoping]

IMP, mermaid: That's really what I'm trying to do, and last week, I felt like I had actually finally reached detachment. My mind was made up to give up. Was even going to stop posting here. Then of course, this week, all these tiny movements have occurred and now I have my doubts as to whether I should give up completely. I'll do what you've suggested and not take them for anything positive for now. That's what I needed to hear. I still want to be here for him if he needs me, but I'm certainly not going to be the one to go to him. Just going to keep living my life (that I'm finally starting to enjoy again!).

You are all amazing women... Thanks for your support...

[inmyplace]

still,

I'm a man!

I'll do what you've suggested and not take them for anything positive for now.

But don't look at it as negative either. But I do understand what you are going through. And it really is difficult to get back on track after all this nonsense. You just have to keep reminding yourself to keep moving forwrd. Yes, easier said then done, but the positive mindset about the person you are is very important.

Hang in there.

IMP

[still hoping]

So sorry IMP!!!
You're an amazing man then...

[still hoping]

Just realized that I asked the same question twice (about replay and depression happening at the same time) after RCR already answered the first time... Must be losing my mind...

Need to get back to being really detached as advised. Otherwise, I'm just setting myself up for yet another major disappointment, thinking that he's coming out of the tunnel and will drop everything to come running back home.

[inmyplace]

LOL...thank you.

[MidwesternGirl]

I wanted to add that my H was not in contact with me last year the way he has been since the end of March. If he was calling, it was to S16 first, and then maybe the girls but he always felt safe with S16 because H never flaunted OW/affair in my son's face, ever.

If there was contact with H, it was very limited via phone. He does not text message at all.

And for awhile last year, he would just come in to get the kids and leave.

Now total opposite here. I think the not drinking is helping him as well.

[still hoping]

My 100th post... Thought that was pretty scary, then looked and saw that most of you are in the 4 digits!

SF: Your sitch gives me hope. But I'm also afraid of that, because like I said above, I think I'm just setting myself up for a huge disappointment. What if he fixes everything else in his life and I'm moving forward, but still in my heart and mind expecting him to do the same with our M and it never happens?

I know what I need to do - take the advice I've been given, don't expect anything, do what makes me happy, stop thinking about him, move on with my life... Just way easier said than done.

Wish they could issue some kind of guarantee that they'd come back after their MLC! Would definitely make the decision to wait much easier.

[MidwesternGirl]

Still:

I have no expectations but that is not to say when he comes over, it is not in the back of my mind that maybe this is the day he moves back. Yeah, that thought is there but not something I get my hopes up about.

When he is here, I am myself, go about my business, do what I have to do.

YOu'll be okay.