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#2939742 11/25/22 01:54 AM
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Spiral Offline OP
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Spiral #2939849 11/28/22 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Spiral
o, there are some perks for her to being separated rather than divorced and I am sure that she misses parts of her old life. That's probably all that there is to it.

So what action can YOU take to fix this?


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Spiral #2940541 12/10/22 03:48 AM
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Spiral,

I'm trying to figure out the end game here...

Would you ever be open to reconciliation if W pursued it, or do you think that door is closed permanently from your perspective?

Maybe it's because of my relatively short period of limbo, but can't wrap my head around being in a situation 3 years out where W has been living with OM the whole time and you're dating prolifically, yet W motioned to withdraw the D proceedings, you did not object, and the courts dismissed the proceedings.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
Spiral #2940701 12/12/22 08:08 PM
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More or less it’s guilt, affair fog is wearing off. She wants you to accept her friendship and forgive her - on the other hand if you start being friendly with her she will take it as you forgave her wrong doing.

1. Reconciliation - she would be way more direct and approach you with something in that sense.
2. Could be Valley - she can’t decide which men to pick.

Spiral #2940717 12/13/22 12:16 AM
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Are you separated from her financially? If your killing it the asset division will most likely be figured from a possible future filing date. Just something to consider.


M57 (53@BD)
XW55 (50@BD)
S24 (20@BD) S22 (19@BD)
Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
D final 11/10/22
BL42 #2941035 12/20/22 04:24 AM
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BL,

Can't say that I've considered the end game. I get to see my children every day and I have free access to them whenever I want. I figured it would be foolish to risk that. So, I kept my mouth shut. It might have some financial impact on the margins, but we're separated and a little bit more money doesn't have much of an impact.

I have no interest in reconciliation. I enjoy my freedom. Of course, I get lonely sometimes, especially around the holidays. But I feel like my life is as good as it gets.

She has no interest in reconciliation either and no regrets from what I can tell. Still not sure why the D didn't go through. But I assume that we'll finalize the D in 2023. However, if something doesn't happen, then I will need to take the initiative.

Spiral

Spiral #2941044 12/20/22 01:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Spiral
I have no interest in reconciliation. I enjoy my freedom. Of course, I get lonely sometimes, especially around the holidays. But I feel like my life is as good as it gets.

I feel the same way except that I don't feel lonely around the holiday's I am just not able to embrace the holidays like I use to when married.

Spiral #2941046 12/20/22 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Spiral
I get to see my children every day and I have free access to them whenever I want. I figured it would be foolish to risk that. So, I kept my mouth shut.
Access to your kids is worth more than anything - great reason.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
1 member likes this: SteveLW
Spiral #2941050 12/20/22 02:29 PM
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she could be playing a game with OM.

strange how they practically trample everyone in their path out the door then drag their feet when they are on the other side. must be another chapter in the script they all get prior to BD.


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
bttrfly #2941069 12/21/22 01:25 AM
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bttrfly,

Who knows what's actually going on over there? And as long as my kids are safe, it doesn't matter. But I understand why they start dragging their feet when they are on the other side. She left thinking she'd found some sort of epic fairytale that would last a lifetime. Nearly three years later, real life has replaced the fairy tale and the honeymoon phase is over. It's why they say this is a marathon, not a sprint. However, whatever she might be thinking, I don't think the thought of coming back has ever crossed her mind. Very little of it has to do with me. Thank goodness, I'm not OM. Who knows what his future holds.



Spiral

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