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KitCat #2930385 02/20/22 08:42 PM
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I don’t think either guys are going to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
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Ginger --- where is the proof that he is still with OW???

I don't have any.

He says he is not, but frankly I would not put him at the top of authority of truth. I am aware that his male cohort for the last 2year set him up on date 5mo ago... and my XH was not impressed. Now this male cohort is part of this high school group... XH and OW and this guy all went to school together and know each other. They used go out as a foursome with corhorts wife (again all high school pals). NOW, why would this guy set up my XH on a double date if he was still with OW???

I literally can find NO PROOF they are still together. I'm not stalking him.

We are not in a committed relationship. That does not mean I'm now the OW.

LH19 #2930387 02/20/22 09:06 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
I don’t think either guys are going to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free.

LH... if I were a cow I'd long ago have been sent to the slaughterhouse at my age... there would be no da*n cow to purchase and the milk would have been long soured... smile

KitCat #2930388 02/20/22 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted by KitCat
Ginger --- where is the proof that he is still with OW???

I don't have any.

He says he is not, but frankly I would not put him at the top of authority of truth. I am aware that his male cohort for the last 2year set him up on date 5mo ago... and my XH was not impressed. Now this male cohort is part of this high school group... XH and OW and this guy all went to school together and know each other. They used go out as a foursome with corhorts wife (again all high school pals). NOW, why would this guy set up my XH on a double date if he was still with OW???

I literally can find NO PROOF they are still together. I'm not stalking him.

We are not in a committed relationship. That does not mean I'm now the OW.
I tried to tell you a long time ago you weren’t plan b. More like plan G. The LBS being plan b is the biggest myth on the board.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
LH19 #2930389 02/20/22 09:29 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
I tried to tell you a long time ago you weren’t plan b. More like plan G. The LBS being plan b is the biggest myth on the board.

OW was NEVER my competition.

OW was a symptom of a problem in my M.

My only competition is myself. Therefore it doesn't phase me that my XH isn't jumping up and down choosing me!!!! He has his own battles to face. I accept who and where he is right now.

I'm at peace. I understand the 3 reasons D happens. I have empathy for the pain my XH was feeling when he felt the need to leave our M, for the hopelessness that that he felt. I know he is not as happy as he wants everyone to believe he is... and I have empathy for that too.

Sometimes late at night he asks the hard questions. Why wasn't he enough? What changed? Could I really be different with him?

Sometimes I will answer them, but sometimes I ignore because I'm not always convinced he wants the answer.

Sometimes it anger - I was given warnings and options and choose what I choose because it was all about me. ((shrug))

I listen. I validate. I can see why you would feel that way. I understand why you would think that way.

And, then I keep living my life.

If XH wants to spend time with me and it can be a positive experience, why not? I understand the process in which people fall in love... fall out of love and can fall back in love.

I'm not putting anything on hold. If I meet someone else before my XH has a come to Jesus moment... that's on him. smile

KitCat #2930390 02/20/22 09:43 PM
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I have to be honest I can’t argue with what your saying although the physical and mental abuse has been forgotten? The only part you may be fooling yourself with is placing your life on hold. Only you know the truth to that. It’s not your conventional D but you have alway ls been a different Kat (pun intended) lol.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
LH19 #2930391 02/20/22 09:51 PM
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Originally Posted by LH19
I have to be honest I can’t argue with what your saying although the physical and mental abuse has been forgotten? The only part you may be fooling yourself with is placing your life on hold. Only you know the truth to that. It’s not your conventional D but you have alway ls been a different Kat (pun intended) lol.

NOPE - it has not been forgotten

My XH quit smoking 1 1/2yr ago.

Sometimes we are texting and he actually goes "my apologies"... WHAT???? That's a word I would swear he never knew.

There's a lot of differences in talking with him. He's a lot more calm.

I had to ask his input on something regarding S20's car because technically he is still 50% owner until he pays it off. I was not happy about how S20 was treating me in regards to the situation and my XH used words like his behavior is not very loving or respectful. WAIT??? What in all that is holy is going on here??? My XH using words like loving or respectful literally sucked the air right out of my chest.

When I described that day in the car driving around town with him... not one millisecond of road rage.

I would have to say that my XH has done some work....

KitCat #2930394 02/20/22 10:23 PM
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Well it will be fun to follow along. Keep us posted.


M:51 W:46
T:22 M:16
S:15 D:11

�Happiness equals reality minus expectations�- Magliozzi
1 member likes this: Taz
LH19 #2930403 02/21/22 02:25 AM
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Originally Posted by LH19
Well it will be fun to follow along. Keep us posted.

I’m on the edge of my seat. This is good stuff.

No offense KK and no judgement from this side of the street.

Taz


Me55 (53@BD)
W52 (50@BD)
S22 (20@BD) S20 (19@BD)
Married 23 Together 28
BD 9/29/19 (came home from weekend fishing trip and wife had moved out with no warning)
W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text)
KitCat #2930409 02/21/22 01:28 PM
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KitCat,

I hear you're enjoying the sex, but to be honest reading through your update makes it sound like neither ExH or Pilot are treating you with the respect you deserve. I'd be inclined to tell them both to take a hike and wait to find someone who makes you a priority. Just my $0.02. Take it for what it's worth.


Me:39 Ex-W:37
M:7 T: 9
S:6 D:3
BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20
OM1 affair ends: May '20
W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20
W files for D: Jul20
OM2 confirmed: 9/2020
Divorced: May '21
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