My attorney just called and said now opposing counsel wants to take my deposition. She said that attorney is just doing it to be a jerk. She didn't want me to miss a bunch of work and this all has to be done before Nov 4th so I opted to do it all in one day.
I said I'd done some research and that he's going to make me look bad no matter what because I know what he's going to say about me. She said she disagreed with that and told me to write down my concerns so she could coach me through it.
UGH - I saw the attorney defending the company in the Kobe Bryant case is asking his widow to undergo a psych eval to prove her degree of psychological distress at the death of her husband and daughter? Some attorneys can be real creeps.
The key in a deposition is to be calm, stay factual, do not let them push your buttons. Don't speculate. It's ok to explain yourself but keep it brief. For instance, if they ask you "Did you leave your child alone on the evening of XYZ?" they are looking for a yes, but it's ok to answer "yes but I had just been called to the ER for my other child who had been in a terrible accident and I arranged for my neighbor to come over so they were only alone for five minutes".
Take advantage of your attorney to be mentally prepared. The calmer and less flappable you are, the less they can do.
I was going to say pretty much what kml said in her last statement. Use your attorney's assistance to your advantage so you are prepared and can be calm, cool, and collected, at least on the outside, while you are going through the process. You are much stronger than you even realize. Wishing you good vibes and positive thoughts!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Your attorney's trying to get him to crack, his attorney's trying to get you to crack. As kml says--been in a similar position--stay calm and stick to the facts from the script you and your attorney create. When I was in a similar position, I repeated excerpts from my rehearsed script and didn't recollect much else. Memory is fallible and I was coached that guessing or trying to remember extra details could only bite me. The person judging the case indicated frustration that people share fault in most cases--but in the end the other's testimony admitted to wrongdoing and mine did not. The verdict went completely in my favor.
The person judging the case indicated frustration that people share fault in most cases--but in the end the other's testimony admitted to wrongdoing and mine did not. The verdict went completely in my favor.
What does this mean?
My stbxh is going to claim I'm "crazy'. BPD, bipolar, depression and it's true I was but not really. He had me and the kids convinced that I was an awful person. Imagine my surprise when all my symptoms went away within days of him leaving. I didn't know how physically sick he was making me either until he was gone.
I can't prove any of this. I was off the anti anxiety med for a year but started taking it again to get through this. I was off the bipolar meds for 4 months but it gave me terrible insomnia (I expected this) and I need my sleep. I decided to hold off on that suffering through the side effects until after the divorce was final. Once that's done I'm going to get off the A/D.
My attorney recently said to me "you're not bipolar". I talked a therapist into giving me meds for it but honestly she didn't think I was either.
KML - D16 says she's still trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't. What I see is that history repeated itself. My mother convinced me that my father was crazy and eventually he became crazy. She then used that to successfully turn me against my father. My stbxh is like my mother and I've known that for a long time but I never thought he'd stoop so low to turn my kids against me. I had no idea that he was talking so bad about me behind my back.
My father ended up drinking himself to death after all of us turned on him. That was my future had my stbxh stayed.
The person judging the case nudged us both to admit at least some wrongdoing because conflicts are rarely one-sided. The other party admitted to some wrongdoing. I felt pressure, but I stuck to my prepared script admitting no fault as I'd been advised to, and won the case. If you hired a good attorney, trust their coaching.
Originally Posted by kas99
My stbxh is going to claim I'm "crazy'. BPD, bipolar, depression and it's true I was but not really. I talked a therapist into giving me meds for it but honestly she didn't think I was either.
If he supports his claim, you may be required to get evaluated and/or treated if-diagnosed. As kml says, it might also boost the amount he needs to pay you. Not seeing many downsides?
Originally Posted by kas99
My mother convinced me that my father was crazy and eventually he became crazy. She then used that to successfully turn me against my father. My father ended up drinking himself to death after all of us turned on him.
Oh, kas, I hope you don't blame yourself or your mom for your father's choice to become an alcoholic and end his own life. It does help me understand better why it seemed early on you expected your kids to pick a side in the divorce.
Well, kas, if you're "crazy" then won't ex owe you a boatload of alimony since you're disabled????
You should have read this 2 page thing he sent my attorney. He thinks he shouldn't have to pay me alimony because I'm a superstar capable of making 6 figures but I'm also so depressed that I can't take care of myself or the kids. So which is it? lol
I got my hair professionally done yesterday. I used to have great hair but it fell out in clumps after he left. It grew back and was long but I didn't think I had enough hair to do anything with it (too thin). Turns out my hair is healthier than I thought and I got this total makeover. I'm unrecognizable now. I'm also down 2 sizes from when he last saw me. Less stress = less emotional eating.
Turns out my hair is healthier than I thought and I got this total makeover. I'm unrecognizable now. I'm also down 2 sizes from when he last saw me.
You go girl! Now you go into that deposition with your head held high! My hair also fell out in fistfuls when my ex left, but grew back in nicely once I decided I was better off without him.
