Drh, it is a very common tale. I can tell you about a dozen I personally know of, and that includes both Hs and Ws.
My only concern now that she has made her bed is that you can move forward, happy and healthy. You may never understand her reasons, because they are not logical, they are emotional. Your logical mind will never make sense of it. You have to accept that and decide that the fact you'll never understand it is ok, and that it isn't a barrier to your going on to live an awesome life.
You got a great settlement that many Lbs s would be envious of, be thankful for that.
Look ahead... Not behind.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
My WW moved out in Dec '20. I refinanced the house and she got her half. I have the kids M-F and she has long weekends.
I've had a lot of time to think and work on myself. Working remotely due to Covid and putting out fires everyday with the kids who are remote learning.
Oldest daughter decided not to go stay with her mother this weekend. OM does not want her emotional support animal at the house as it makes messes. Daughter offered solutions but OM says no and WW caught in the middle. Daughter needs her emotional support animal when trying to adjust to the other house.
I think your daughter recognizes it’s dysfunctional for her mother to go from one bed to the next, and probably does not want to be under the same roof as the guy who stole her mom from her Dad. Plus she gets to stay in her own room and sleep in her bigger bed.
My daughters will be facing the same issue in the future. I didn’t think about that until just now. Makes me sick to think of some other guy replacing me.
Nick, if this is inevitable, start planning for separation/divorce now if this seems the most likely outcome. If she is a WW then this is the most likely income. Everyone's situation is different. If you have a long term marriage and she moves in with OM insist she doesn't ask for alimony. You should not have to subsidize her lifestyle if she is living with OM. Figure out the child custody arrangements. I got lucky I guess because WW moved outside the school district and I told her the kids stay in the same school which means they stay with me M to F. She didn't want to do the commute from her place, to the school, to her job, to my house and back again as that's two hours commuting every day. She'd never get a real lunch break.
Drh, it is a very common tale. I can tell you about a dozen I personally know of, and that includes both Hs and Ws.
My only concern now that she has made her bed is that you can move forward, happy and healthy. You may never understand her reasons, because they are not logical, they are emotional. Your logical mind will never make sense of it. You have to accept that and decide that the fact you'll never understand it is ok, and that it isn't a barrier to your going on to live an awesome life.
You got a great settlement that many Lbs s would be envious of, be thankful for that.
Look ahead... Not behind.
Thank you Steve85! I appreciate that and it made my day (on this day too). I still get sad when I think about it.
Thanks for the concern. I don’t have any minor children, so custody is not an issue. Stbxw is still denying an OM, and refuses to t.ell me she is going to live after we sell the house. Idc where she lives, but if Ds are staying with her, I would like to get a place that’s not totally removed from where my daughters are staying.
Yeah, and stbxw is giving gave a up a comfortable lifestyle with plenty of travel with me and two well adjusted kids for getting b**ged in a hotel room two afternoons a week with a married OM.
