Sooooo..... had a nice walk in the woods with the dog today. Came home to cleaning and getting my brain worked out with this sweater I've been attempting to knit... I better love this dang thing when its all done!!! its be a bear to get through.
Ordered a nice keepsake box with my name on it and it arrived today. It will keep all my old girl scout stuff... books, badges, camp stuff, beanies!!! I've got a nice set up for my son's boy scout stuff as he was awarded his Eagle Scout this time last year. He might enjoy his mom's old stuff one day.
Spending more time with the Headspace app.
Trying to remind myself he is showing exactly how much he is concerned with me... ZERO. Stop giving my headspace to someone is not giving me any of theirs.
You are absolutely correct. He has ZERO concern for you. We all have been telling you this ad nauseam.
What I have found, many times people become motivated to change when they are faced with the loss of something. The loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. The evidence is scattered throughout these forums. You see the evidence every time you look in the mirror.
Your H has not experienced this with you. Why? Because you are hanging on for dear life. There is absolutely no motivation for him to change.
You want to know when things "might" change? When you have no concern regarding what he thinks or does. When you put the focus on yourself and your happiness. Ultimately, your happiness is your responsibility anyway.
You have more power in this than you realize. You have to work on your EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT. When is the last time you read that thread? You want to know when your detached? When you don't have to wonder if you are, because you are busy living your badass life.
You have choices. I hope you choose to quit calculating moves in an attempt to get a reaction or his attention. It will never work. That's also evident.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
You are absolutely correct. He has ZERO concern for you. We all have been telling you this ad nauseam.
What I have found, many times people become motivated to change when they are faced with the loss of something. The loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. The evidence is scattered throughout these forums. You see the evidence every time you look in the mirror.
Your H has not experienced this with you. Why? Because you are hanging on for dear life. There is absolutely no motivation for him to change.
You want to know when things "might" change? When you have no concern regarding what he thinks or does. When you put the focus on yourself and your happiness. Ultimately, your happiness is your responsibility anyway.
You have more power in this than you realize. You have to work on your EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT. When is the last time you read that thread? You want to know when your detached? When you don't have to wonder if you are, because you are busy living your badass life.
You have choices. I hope you choose to quit calculating moves in an attempt to get a reaction or his attention. It will never work. That's also evident.
Thank you....
Awake at.3am... I've got 2400sq ft of deafening quietness.
I'm working on emotional detachment.... right now I've just got anger and.disappoiintment followed by an huge sense of loss. I get that I'm working on 2 separate issues at the moment having left S19 college. I teased him that I would come visit on Wednesday (I just left him 3 days ago... lol)
Getting blown off by his stepdad was a bigger blow than he lets on... S19 is a lot more sensitive and sentimental than he let's on. It hurts me to see him crushed like that.
I've looked into taking some art classes to get out of the house more. These things can be hard to do with my work schedule. Then with Covid things get put on hold... some events are still going forward but many still are cancelling. Local high school just started back up and within first week it shut down for 2wks due to so many students in quarantine.
I've got to figure out how to get my sh@t together... suffering hopelessness right now. Going to try new exercise routine tomorrow and see.if it helps.
My female bff took tomorrow off so we could hang out virtually but then she wasn't feeling well 2 days ago. She has some chronic health issues sooooo not sure if that will happen.
Attic is 90%.done. Decided it would be best to tackle Christmas decorations at Christmas time. And there were a few more small items in the attic that H said he wanted 3 weeks ago... and I'm 100% certain he has forgotten because no mention of getting them.
Made real progress on my knit sweater. Also doing a mystery knit along with female bff.which has been lots of fun.
I'm sorry you are struggling right now but it does get a lot better.
I just want to point out you that everything you feel has nothing to do with your H and has everything to do with your loss of control and stability. Your brain will try to convince you to pursue him to get that feeling of control and stability back. It will even try to convince you it was all your fault to try to get you to pursue. Although I think you have issues you need to work out with IC it's very clear to everyone on the board that your H is a pretty $hitty human being.
It's a process you have to go through and the quicker you let go the faster you heal.
Please note I have NOT texted H in 7 days when there was "I don't know when you want to meet to go over paperwork" and I responded "Sunday or Tuesday"... that digressed into him stating he was working 12's for the foreseeable future and he didn't pick either day or offered an alternative day. He ended the convo asking if I took money out of the bank.
Friday 8:30pm he asked if I was going to need his help in moving S19. I never replied.
Today at 8:00am H texts "where are you at with the attorney?"
WHAT??? Last we spoke about it he was informed that we have to meet to make sure I understand what he is asking me to take to the atty AND he has a document that requires his signature. He has sent 2 texts last week both stated "we need to get together to go over the paperwork"
I have nothing to give to atty because we have not met up yet. So nothing has moved an inch with atty.
Is this just his way of opening dialogue about needing to meet up?
Please don't tell me to have him contact my atty directly. That's not what we have chosen to do but I need to make sure I'm handling this as a business item and not emotional one.
I think I would just respond, that you tried to arrange a time to meet and he couldn't make it due to his work schedule. And that until you meet, nothing will happen with the attorney.
Leave it at that.
And no, he's not reaching out because he has had a change of heart and wants to see you. Dont even let that cross your mind.
Hi KitCat, a 3-word message would be great if it conveyed sufficient info to end the dialogue. "Waiting on you" doesn't achieve that. I don't see a business sending a message like that. I see an ongoing exchange after--"On what?" I'm with Thorton and LH to clearly state what is needed to continue with this approach. I don't see any reason to give him the comfort of telling you what you are / aren't doing with your attorney.
"Next is for us to meet to sign the papers. Let me know your availability."
+ I assume you've already e-mailed whatever you want him to sign and he agreed to sign it? Few would sign papers on-the-spot without seeing and considering them in advance.
+ I assume you spoke to your attorney about any signing requirements, e.g. witnesses or notaries.
I think I would just respond, that you tried to arrange a time to meet and he couldn't make it due to his work schedule. And that until you meet, nothing will happen with the attorney.
Leave it at that.
And no, he's not reaching out because he has had a change of heart and wants to see you. Dont even let that cross your mind.
This dude is a joke..
Nope - that never crossed my mind.
Its just an interesting phenomenon when I don't respond to his texts... he texts more non-nonsensical things like this. Pushing me to respond? IDK. I literally haven't texted him in a week.... he could use his thumb to scroll up and read our last convo about needing to meet and him telling me how busy he was. Seriously.
