I moved last month to an apartment with S19 and S11. So far, so good on that. We are closing on the sale of our marital home today (fingers crossed), so another link broken. We are in the process of scheduling what will likely be our final mediation session.
W texted this morning and said she wanted to talk to the kids about "a few things" but wanted to talk to me first. I responded saying that's fine, and asked what she had in mind. She said she was going into work and would text me later. She indicated it would be about "new people in her life." No surprise here, but any and all advice on how to handle this is appreciated.
W
You cannot control any of that. And it is within her power to introduce new people to your kids. The only time you have a leg to stand on is if the "person" is a threat to a minor child. IE, if she is introducing known sex-offenders to your S11 then you'd have a legal standing to take action to prevent that. LBSs whose WAS begin to introduce another person (IE, a love interest) to their children usually do not like it, but there is little you can do to prevent it.
So be the best father that you can be, no matter what your STBXW does.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
We communicated via text this past Sunday morning re: S11's birthday and she asked to come over to my new place for cake etc. I told her she was welcomed to pick up S11 and spend time with him, but I didn't feel it was appropriate to have her in my house to have cake. She replied asking why it wasn't appropriate (she is in a full-blown PA and D is not yet final, mind you), and added some jive about having to "raise the boys together" and we would need to be in the same room at the same time either at my house or her house" etc.
I didn't take the bait, but rather asked her what time she planned on picking up S11. She kept pushing and I told her I wasn't going to have further discussion on this topic, especially via text, and that ended it.
What could be our final mediation session coming up this Thursday. Looking forward to hopefully wrapping this thing up.
Reached verbal agreement on a settlement and just waiting on final agreement from the mediator to review, sign and submit to the court. Hopefully all done by 12/15.
W wanted to talk about "other people in her life" via text so she could tell the kids, but I pushed to speak in person so nothing could be misinterpreted. We met for about 10 minutes and (this will shock you all!) she has told me that she has moved back to her hometown and she is living with her "boyfriend," his sister and their father. I didn't flinch and said, "Well, good luck to you. Let me know what you tell the kids so I can answer any questions they might have." She got choked up, and then I got up to leave. And that was that.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner (even baked a dessert!) for myself and my kids. Organized a Zoom call with my siblings so everyone could catch up. Had a terrific holiday.
Mediation scheduled for this upcoming week, and we should be signing all the final paperwork to be sent to the court for final approval. W is getting prickly here at the end (not unexpected) and making all sorts of wild statements about blowing the deal up. I don't respond, nor do I expect things to fall apart. We shall see.
For me, I do not view D as an impediment to any possible R. I also do not view R as my end goal. I'm just moving forward, working on myself and doing all I can for my kids.
