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A Message from Michele
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Every Day I'm Shufflin' #2889392
03/15/20 03:40 PM
03/15/20 03:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,162
Canada
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AndrewP Offline OP
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AndrewP  Offline OP
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Prior Thread

Pyke notte thyne errys nothyr thy nostrellys
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2888804&page=1

Appropriate given the current circumstances.

Yeah - I couldn't stay away. Today's thread title is brought to you by an ear worm that's been stuck in my head for a few days now when I was thinking back to zombie apocalypses.

Lots happening here in Upper Lower Middle Kanukistan. Mostly related to the current scares around Covid 19. I was out doing my weekly shopping and even here the shelves are pretty empty. There's been I believe one confirmed case in the region but we do all know that it is just a matter of time.

I've suspended my traveling into Toronto indefinitely with the support of upper management and will be working out of the plant closer by. The office has just 5 of us and it's a secure facility. I've spent much of this past week in pandemic planning meetings. Many of our staff are long term employees who are candidates. One critical employee has a wife who is badly suffering already from COPD. Keeping our people safe is our top priority. I'm very fortunate that I have no worries about my job being too affected in part because the plant needs to keep operating as we provide product in to water treatment plants. A reduction in demand for base metals may hurt us in part as this inevitably turns in to a recession and our raw material supplies from oil refineries may be hurt if they slow down but overall we should be fine. The other side of the company that I don't currently have as much to do with will probably slow down faster. We were already down in the past year as demand for new cars slowed and a lot of what we make there goes in to consumer goods although perhaps now people will recognize how valuable single use plastics are in preventing contagion. whistle crazy

Personal life has also been busy. It was my 56th birthday on Wednesday and S and three of her kids helped me celebrate. S25 was at work but did I think appreciate the piece of cake I brought home for him. My D27 and her H called in via video chat from San Diego and I think were a bit shocked by the amount of chaos going on around me. S got me a nice card and has found a ball-room dancing class that we'll be taking. Something we've talked about for some time. I enjoy dancing but have no skills. Her boys gave me a nice card and some potted tulips that are just blooming now.

Sadly no card from D27 for the first time ever. She also didn't send me a Valentine's card. I "of course" have been sending all the usual things. We've only just now started talking again though and TBH while it bothers me that she didn't send a card, there are lots more important things in life. She's talking to me again which is much more important.

On Thursday S's D18 turned into D19. Since S doesn't drink I assisted at the liquor store where we picked up a bottle of prosecco. Since D19 has pretty much no education in spirits I think it was the glittery bottle that impressed her the most. She and her BF had had yet another fight that day. But they keep staying together. A few of her friends were there for food, cake and the obligatory social media posts. Her dad was there when I got there but left saying that he wasn't feeling well. He's a germaphobe and had been busily winding the kids up about Covid 19.

I have been worried that they would be planning on moving in here and told S that while I was ok with this as an emergency place to crash that I didn't want them here full time. They are not good guests. I spent much of yesterday shampooing the carpet in one of the bedrooms at S's apartment where they just let their dog defecate and urinate on the carpet and then complained about the smell. No apology. No offer to help clean. With S's back spasms she can't use the shampooer on her own and getting a teenager to do things is quite the challenge especially when the source of the issue is their sibling. It knocked me back a fair bit and so I rested quite a bit when we got to the house and S was understanding of that.

Fortunately the freshly minted D19 and her BF are going to be moving in with her dad for the summer. She has been living with S's STBX (everyone marking their bingo card?) for the last number of months but it's not been going well for reasons that are pretty obvious to me.

Things with S continue along. We have a few bumps and need to work on our communication especially when we're tired / grumpy. It's so easy to take things the wrong way. I do think that S has finally "gotten it" that I was a reluctant participant in my divorce and that I was content in my marriage so perhaps she'll stop looking for the reasons why I was such a horrible person that my ex had to cheat on me. It did create a new concern where she asked if I would take my ex back and I "think" she believes me that given how I was treated especially after bomb-day that I have no interest in having someone in my life who would do that to another human being. Much less someone that they had professed to love.

Not that my ex has shown any signs of regretting her choices. From what I've been told she and OM have bought a house together in the same town that S lives in. On a whim I unblocked her from social media a few days ago but I'm blocked on the other end so see nothing still. S did ask if she knew that we were engaged and I replied that it would be shocking if she "didn't" know. We then joked about her resuming hiding in the shrubberies across the street to check out her replacement like she did in the summer time. I do think in recent times that she's been spending more time with S25, a pattern from last summer as well. From what I understand most women who have essentially abandoned their children to chase after their "dreams" remember that they have kids when it looks like they are being replaced.

S25 and S get along quite well - but he's very good at being polite and social when appropriate. S certainly does no mothering of him though.

The boys are getting more excited about moving in. S13 told his Mom that he is keen on my S25 moving out so that they can move in (one of the pre-conditions). But he's also sad because he quite likes S25. I'm hoping to get more work done on the rabbit hutch this weekend but am unsure if I'll find the time.

Next weekend S was planning on going to Ottawa to do some dress shopping etc with her own D25 for D25's upcoming wedding. That may be on hold because of a variety of reasons. I'd planned on having a hedonistic bachelor's weekend doing some serious house cleaning and such. S is thinking that she may give that weekend to me. She's been over pretty much every weekend for months now which when combined with me helping her at the apartment has had me fall behind here. The basics are taken care of but it's a "lot" of work. I don't think that S "gets it" on how much effort I've been putting in to keep all the balls in the air.

I have about a week and a half of vacation planned starting April 1st which was in part to support the regional science fair where I volunteer as a judge. Last night I got an email from the coordinator that that's been canceled. Prudent yes, but I am sure that the kids who get to the level that I judge at, who have put so much effort into their projects, are undoubtedly very disappointed. March Break has just started here and it's going to be extended for another couple of weeks which S's S13 will be very happy about has he's barely started his science fair project which was supposed to be started just before Christmas. It is a weird dynamic for me as I was a high achiever academically even representing my region nationally at the science fair (yep - he's a nerd cool ) and my own kids did very well academically. S herself is in some ways better educated than I am but in the liberal arts. Her three oldest did graduate high school but the younger two are definitely struggling. Perhaps being here at nerd central will inspire them to do better.

My friend who supplies me with Girl Guide cookies let me know that the season has started. I wasn't sure when / if I could meet up with her to pick up a case to split between here and San Diego but I may see if I can do that while I'm on vacation. I'll need to make sure to be transparent with S when I do this as my friend is young, pretty, female and single. And a good friend. Not that S has anything to worry about but transparency is important. I'm not going to give up my friends of either gender though which hasn't been a thing at all anyway.

Meatloaf with mushrooms is planned for dinner. I bought a 1/4 beef (about 200 lbs) a week or so ago from one of my youngest brother's friends. Not because of any pre-planning for the apocalypse but because I knew that I would have a much more full house. Mushrooms were on sale so they will be part of it. Meatloaf is one of my go-to Sunday supper things so that with potatoes and veg are on the menu. I may see if S feels like making a desert. In our talks we have agreed that I will continue to cook probably for Sundays as I love doing it so much.

Gorgeous sunny day here. S, her dog and I will probably head out for a walk around town to get some fresh air and exercise and then go for soup at our friend's cafe. Then puttering, ironing etc. Life is pretty good.

Last edited by job; 03/15/20 09:51 PM. Reason: edited with proper names of bodily functions

On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: AndrewP] #2889418
03/15/20 08:38 PM
03/15/20 08:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 217
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dream Offline
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Happy belated birthday! Glad you had a great day! smile

You often post about all of the work you have to do at S's apartment and that causes you to fall behind on your own home housekeeping. How did she manage before you were in the picture? How messy can an apartment get? I lived in one with my ex and it didn't take much to maintain it. Of course there was only the 2 of us and our pets living there. Why didn't the kid who allowed the dog to defecate and urinate on the carpet clean up the mess?? I thought it was funny that you chose the words defecate and urinate smile

Things that you post about your relationship are confusing/concerning. You're getting married, yet she is looking for reasons why your ex cheated on you?! She is worried about if your ex knows you're engaged... who cares? How's her own divorce coming along? You haven't mentioned the progress of that in awhile. Has she filed yet?

It's kind of sad that S's kids can't move in until S25 moves out. Personally, I don't think S and her kids should move in until you guys get married. But more so, it shouldn't matter where S25 is living as the kids will be his siblings. It looks like they are taking over his place by waiting for him to leave before they can enter. Is S25 no longer welcome to move back once he's out? I am glad that he's working now and getting ready to take charge of his life and be more independent. Will he be taking some furniture with him when he moves? Has 20something been by to pick up her things?

Last edited by job; 03/15/20 09:53 PM. Reason: edited with proper names of bodily functions
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: dream] #2889421
03/15/20 09:59 PM
03/15/20 09:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,454
Southern Maryland
job Online

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Southern Maryland
dream,

Andrew's wording for what the dog had done were changed to the proper names of the bodily functions. I have also corrected them in your response to him as well.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: job] #2889423
03/15/20 11:04 PM
03/15/20 11:04 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,769
Midwest
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DonH Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Midwest
Originally Posted by job
dream,

Andrew's wording for what the dog had done were changed to the proper names of the bodily functions. I have also corrected them in your response to him as well.


LMAO. and just whom decides the “proper terms?” Is there a list someplace we can access?


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: AndrewP] #2889445
03/16/20 12:22 PM
03/16/20 12:22 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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doodler Offline
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Originally Posted by AndrewP
Lots happening here in Upper Lower Middle Kanukistan. Mostly related to the current scares around Covid 19. I was out doing my weekly shopping and even here the shelves are pretty empty. There's been I believe one confirmed case in the region but we do all know that it is just a matter of time.

I had the same grocery store experience. I hadn't been to the grocery store in about a week so on Saturday morning I went to the store to get a few items and I was really surprised. There were a lot a more people at the store than usual and they had fully loaded shopping carts. Many of them had huge amounts of meat in their cart. The toilet paper isle was completely wiped out. No toilet paper, no paper towels, no Kleenex, no nothin'.

There are no coronavirus cases in my county or in the surrounding counties so I was surprised by voracity of the hoarding. I don't understand the logic behind the things that people are hoarding. The cereal isle looked like it hadn't been touched by anyone, but all of the meat, which has to be frozen or refrigerated, was almost all gone. What's up with that?

Originally Posted by AndrewP
Personal life has also been busy. It was my 56th birthday on Wednesday and S and three of her kids helped me celebrate. S25 was at work but did I think appreciate the piece of cake I brought home for him.

Once again, Happy Birthday to you! Did this birthday seem to sneak up on you? Did you get any good gifts? And, by the way, touché, you surprised me, you're a crafty Canadian, but this isn't checkmate.

Speaking of birthdays, my actual birthday is in December, but in leap years, I celebrate my birthday in March. The reason I do that is a long and deeply personal story; it's not something I can readily share on a public forum. Friends and family often forget about my leap year birthday.

Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: doodler] #2889460
03/16/20 01:39 PM
03/16/20 01:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,162
Canada
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AndrewP Offline OP
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AndrewP  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 3,162
Canada
Originally Posted by dream
Happy belated birthday! Glad you had a great day! smile
Dream! Good to see you stop by. I hope you and the boys are all doing well. It was a very unusual birthday for me with the extra bustle and noise caused by involving S and her kids and mine being absent (S25 had to work) or remote for D27

Originally Posted by dream
You often post about all of the work you have to do at S's apartment and that causes you to fall behind on your own home housekeeping. How did she manage before you were in the picture? How messy can an apartment get? I lived in one with my ex and it didn't take much to maintain it. Of course there was only the 2 of us and our pets living there.
LOL. Rather different from 4 teenagers, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 3 rabbits and a deceased fish plus an ex-husband who constantly "drops off stuff for the kids". The fish doesn't make much of a mess.

Originally Posted by dream
Things that you post about your relationship are confusing/concerning. You're getting married, yet she is looking for reasons why your ex cheated on you?! She is worried about if your ex knows you're engaged... who cares? How's her own divorce coming along? You haven't mentioned the progress of that in awhile. Has she filed yet?
Despite us knowing each other (and my ex) peripherally for years, she's being cautious I'm sure. Having "the other shoe" drop has happened more than once. No clue on what's going on with her divorce. I'm not involved.

Originally Posted by dream
it shouldn't matter where S25 is living as the kids will be his siblings.
This is where I disagree. S's kids won't be his siblings. He's got a sister already and a Mom and an independent life. He will be spending only occasional times with S's kids for the occasional dinner. More like a "cousin" arrangement. He won't be part of their lives and they won't be part of his.
Originally Posted by dream
Will he be taking some furniture with him when he moves? Has 20something been by to pick up her things?
He'll be taking everything from his room plus a few other things from around the house including some of the kitchen stuff that will be spare. He's been eyeing the beef in the freezer lately too. S has two kids who will also be needing things. Her oldest daughter who is selling many of her possessions (cheaper than moving them) and moving closer plus her younger daughter who will be moving in with her Dad - who owns pretty much no furniture (yeah - he's an ex husband for abundant reasons). 20S has picked up some stuff. I have permission to dispose of a couple of the larger pieces of furniture. She knows of the deadline and will probably watch as it wizzes past. I've gotten more and more direct and she is very aware. I expect it to all sort out in time.

Originally Posted by doodler
I had the same grocery store experience. I hadn't been to the grocery store in about a week so on Saturday morning I went to the store to get a few items and I was really surprised. There were a lot a more people at the store than usual and they had fully loaded shopping carts. Many of them had huge amounts of meat in their cart. The toilet paper isle was completely wiped out. No toilet paper, no paper towels, no Kleenex, no nothin'.

There are no coronavirus cases in my county or in the surrounding counties so I was surprised by voracity of the hoarding. I don't understand the logic behind the things that people are hoarding. The cereal isle looked like it hadn't been touched by anyone, but all of the meat, which has to be frozen or refrigerated, was almost all gone. What's up with that?
I was told this morning that this will be my last day to come in to the plant. Actually the guy who has the office next to me told me this morning that a friend of his tested positive and that they had been over to visit a couple of days ago. I was thinking about what I might need that I didn't have and picked up 100 screws for the rabbit hutch.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: doodler] #2889474
03/16/20 02:25 PM
03/16/20 02:25 PM
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 2
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BradP Offline
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Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by doodler
Speaking of birthdays, my actual birthday is in December, but in leap years, I celebrate my birthday in March.

Hey doodler, long time no see. I hope you had a very happy March birthday. Maybe we can get together sometime soon. Lately things have been insane for me, but I think it's beginning to settle down. My lady sends all her love.


Last edited by job; 03/16/20 03:26 PM. Reason: Removed proper name of lady.
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: BradP] #2889486
03/16/20 03:20 PM
03/16/20 03:20 PM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 836
North Vietnam
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LanceSijan Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 836
North Vietnam
Originally Posted by BradP

Hey doodler, long time no see. I hope you had a very happy March birthday. Maybe we can get together sometime soon. Lately things have been insane for me, but I think it's beginning to settle down. My lady sends all her love.



Hey Brad - welcome to the forum.

Please don't post too much personal information - my friend cadet won't like it.

Last edited by job; 03/16/20 03:26 PM. Reason: Removed proper name of lady.
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: LanceSijan] #2889488
03/16/20 03:25 PM
03/16/20 03:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,454
Southern Maryland
job Online

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job  Online

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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,454
Southern Maryland
Hey doodler and BradP!

I think it's a wonderful idea that you two get together sometime soon. Maybe today would be a great day to do so? It sounds like you two haven't seen each other in a while and right now, might be just the perfect time to do so. Just remember...6 feet apart, keep those hands washed and if you have to cough or sneeze, do it in the proper manner, i.e., hand over mouth or cough or sneeze into the elbow (like a bird wing bent).

Oh, and I also agree with LanceSijan., BradP, welcome to the forum and do not post too much info. In fact, I'm going to edit you lady's name.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Every Day I'm Shufflin' [Re: LanceSijan] #2889489
03/16/20 03:30 PM
03/16/20 03:30 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,169
NY
Cadet Offline

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Cadet  Offline

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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,169
NY
Originally Posted by LanceSijan

Hey Brad - welcome to the forum.

Please don't post too much personal information - my friend cadet won't like it.


Hey Lance

I was going to come visit you but then I would want to give you a (((HUG))))) and for now it is not allowed
and will have to remain a virtual one.

I know that nobody but me really knows you.

You were such a hero during the Vietnam war.


Me-66, D33,S32
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